Is this bad...?

Question

My parents recently divorced, so me and my younger brother are with my Mom. However, my mom doesn't have a job, so she doesn't have much of an income(My dad owned this big ol' dental office...), and she gets mad at me and threatens me with the fact that she can move me to my dads and she even says I am like him, and won't give me the time of day. My older sister is in College, and whenever she comes, my mom does everything for her, takes her shopping, everything... Whenver I do anything, I have to ask my dad, and, my dad is the reason my parents divorced; he was cheating on my mom, so I don't really like him... I am starting to grow alot, so I need to eat alot too, which usually results in like 4 meals a day in addition to snacks; my mom is saying she can't afford that so I usually go hungry. I am not fat... in fact, I might even be underweight; I weight 124 and am 5 foot 6! Am I in a bad living situation, or is this normal??

My dad is over near his office making $300,000+ a year with no worries and he won't even buy me anything when I see him; he made a big deal about buying me a pair of DC's! When it is my birthday or christmas, he always buys something bigger then my mom can afford though to try and make himself seem better; like, he bought me a Fujitsu Lifebook and a electric scooter for christmas, and on my birthday he got me a dog...

I really would rather not live with my father; he is heartless, ruthless and he treats me like I am 6.

He also lives 3 hours away, so I would have to lose most of my friends...

To the godparent thing, he died a year or two ago of a heart attack :-(

Answer 1

This is not a good situation. Your mother is showing favoritism to your sister. You are still growing and need food, clothes and other necessities. Your dad seems to enjoy making the situation worse. Can you sit down with him and explain what's going on the same way you wrote it here? You are really quite articulate. He needs to know that you don't need expensive tech stuff and you sure don't need a dog which is another expense for your mother. You need a decent allowance, and if you get it I hope you will spend it on necessities. You need to tell your Mom that you get hungry and are going without to avoid arguments. My god, these people are dense and impossible. Good luck to you. Speak out. Just do it. And talk to your school counselor.

Answer 2

First of all if your dad was cheating on your mom then she should not only be getting child support but also alimony (depending on how long they were married and in what state). If your mom has it good enough that she doesn't have to have a job then obviously she isn't too worried about the money situation at home. Unless of course she is using her ex-husband (your dad) as an excuse as to why she can't get a job because she feels worthless (yeah heard that one before too). Either way someone is pulling someone's strings, either your dad is paying a crap load of child support which he should be if he makes that much money and your mom is being a creep towards you for whatever reason (you remind her of your dad maybe) and is spending the money on other stuff. If your mom doesn't have enough income coming in to take care of the grocery bill and isn't getting much help from your dad there is always this thing called FOOD STAMPS. It sounds to me as though your mom has money to spend on your sister so why doesn't she have money to support her son's eating habits. I personally don't think that is a lot for a child to ask. It's obvious that she wanted custody of you so now it is her responsibility to provide for you.

I hate to say it but if your mom is blaming you for your dad being a jerk then I think If I were you I would happily go live with dad. At least he'll feed you. I would really like to talk to your mom she sounds like someone that could really use a lesson on rasing kids. Just remember that whatever your mom does or says has nothing to do with YOU she is just mad at your father but she still has no right to try to take that out on you. I wish there was more that I could say to help you but unfortunately sometimes these things happen and maybe it is best for you to live with your dad.

Answer 3

Call child protective services and get your mom signed up for parenting classes. If you go through them, she can't refuse to take them. If she refuses, she loses custody of all the kids. You are very underweight. Call 1-800-4ACHILD What she is doing is willful neglect at the easiest and child endangerment at the most. If someone else turns her in she's facing jail time with you in foster care.
Yes I'm trying to scare you, I mostly survived a similar situation and nobdy needs to go through that. When I graduated high school, I weighed 85 pounds. I'm 5 feet tall, but my growth was stunted, too.
You should weigh between 140 and 150 at your height.

Answer 4

Some times the best thing to do is talk, might seem like nothing, but you'd be surprised on the information you would discover from things you hear, you just need communication, and that doesn't mean arguing. In order to know of something, we need to tell someone, you just need to let your parents know of your problems. You are to afraid to approach your parents as most people would? Try talking to someone at school. Not willing to do those? Well theres nothing much you can do from there but continue the route you're going in or hope that your parents see into your mind, understand your problem, and try to solve them.

Answer 5

SELL the scooter and put the moneys in the bank and buy food. DO little erons and sell things door to door. THINK of odd jobs even if its just 10 bucks a week. THEN go buy some peanut butter and a loaf of bread. THAt will take the hungries a way.HERES IDEAS of making moneys. WALKING peoples dogs after school. BABY sitting little boys.Mowing people lawns. DELievering news papers. HOUSe sitting on the week end.(no parties)I found some chocolate on sale once called cad berries chocolates. I bought them three 4 a buck and sold them 4 a buck. I made 100 bucks in about 4 days. there are thousands of ideas to make honest moneys. ALL of them would help your mom. BE her hero. SHE will respect you 4 that.I had yard sales last summer. I made good moneys 150. a sale.

Answer 6

It sounds like your parents are still in the "hate each other stage" this will pass and they will realize they are adults and will remember they have children to take care of and get on with life. Divorce, especially one caused by a cheating spouse is always messy. Try to love your parents and pray for them. If your dad makes that much money I am sure your mom got child support and maybe spousal support too, so there is no reason for you to go hungry. As for your mom and sister doing everything and leaving you out that is kinda normal. With your sister gone to school all the time your mom misses her and wants to spend as much time with her when she is home as she can. Try not to be jealous. Good luck.

Answer 7

If you are under 18, you should contact social services right away. As for your mother she is going through a tramatic time that is very emotional but she should not bllame you. All of you need to see a therapist, or psychiatrist. Ur dad should be highly ashamed of his behavior and ur mom. But make sure ur dad pays u child support. He is a son of a B#%@&.

Answer 8

If she is not feeding you I would go to the school nurse and tell her that. They will make your mother feed you. I sorry your going this. It's crummy. I know how you feel about having a mother who treats the other kid better.

Also if your over 16 how about an after school job. Then you could buy more food if you need it.

Answer 9

none of this is your fault. your parents are mad at each other and the kids are suffering from it. i wish that your mom and dad would read this question that you have ask and realize what happens to kids when their parents split.
i hope that it all gets better for you and yours. hopefully as time passes it will. your mom should be getting alimony and child support from your dad. and if he makes alot of money the courts will be sure that your mom gets her fair share of it. as far as eating goes. eat all you want. if she fusses about you eating too much. tell her your hungry, and tell her loud. get her attention and let her know your suffering too.

Answer 10

Go to your school counsellor and talk it all out. NO this is not normal. Why is your Dad not paying your Mom any support? Especially if it was his fault, she should be getting enough to live on!! Ask her!!