I've learned I've terminal cancer- 1 year left to live- I don't want to tell my family. Is this selfish?

Question

I want to live each day to the fullest. I want my last moments on Earth to be happy and peaceful, not remorseful or sad. I feel if I tell my family they will treat me differently. I don't have the heart to tell my parents or husband. Would it be selfish of me to pack my things and travel the world without telling anyone?

Answer 1

There are many things you can do to extend your life, or even cure yourself.

Please read this page.

Cancer
http://dgwa1.fortunecity.com/body/cancer.html

Answer 2

First off, I am very sorry. Second, I have talked about this subject with my mom. She smokes like crazy and she has this gut feeling something is wrong. I beg her to go to the doctor. She says she wouldn't want to know. I guess it is different in a way, but this is just how I feel. If someone you loved only had awhile left on Earth, wouldn't you want to know. Wouldn't you want to be able to let them know how you feel about them, so nothing haunted you after they were gone? I think it is selfish to do that to the people you love. It's selfless of you not to want to put this on your loved ones. Do you have children? You want to pack up your things and travel the world, I would want the same, but have you thought of having your husband come along? Be with you to enjoy every minute that you have? I can't imagine what you must be going through. Just please try to think of how you would want to spend the last days with a loved one. Good luck to you. I will pray for you. And with not wanting your days to be sad or remorseful, maybe with telling lets say your husband, you could lay down some ground rules. Naturally, he will be sad, heart broken, but if he loves you I'm sure he would do what ever you needed to make this easier on you. I feel telling your husband first would be the best bet. Don't do this alone, and please don't leave your loved ones asking why. That is something they will never get over. That one I do have expierence with. My Grandpa died of Emphazma over 7 years ago. My family thought the children(i was 18) didn't need to know. I knew something was wrong, but to this day, I'm angry because I never got the chance to tell him how I felt. Or to tell him I loved him for the last time. I still ask why, that is an awful feeling to live with. I don't want you to feel bad, you do what you feel you have to do. Just think first please.

Answer 3

if you are going to just pack up your things and leave to travel, i think your husband and family have the right to know why you are doing these things. Plus doctors can be wrong too you know, you might live way longer than what they say. I know many many people that had that same problem and they ended up showing the doctor that they are strong and they made it way longer some still stronger than ever. So i think you should tell your family and tell them that you dont want them to treat you different and that you want to start living your life to the best you can. I am sure they will be right there beside you making the most of it. Wouldnt you want to enjoy your time with them, with the ones who love you and you love back.

Answer 4

You should tell your family. They might want to spend more time with you. They might want to be around you as much as possible. If you really want to travel, why not have your family go with you. Have fun together. Cherish the moments. My grandma had cancer since I was I think 6. She was only given a few months to live. She put up a fight and lived for ten more years. Last year for Christmas I wanted to spend the day at my other grandma's house. She was upset but got over it. This March she passed away and now I feel horrible. If I could/would have known that last year was going to be her last Christmas, I would have spent it with her. So, you never know if it's the last time you see someone. I think you should do whatever' best for you, but I also think you should spend your time with your family or at least let them know. Do you have kids? If so, PLEASE stay with them as long as you can. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best. Good luck.

Answer 5

Yes and no .. They would worry about you so much and be heartbroken wondering what happened to you or if you are okay. On the other hand you only have 1 year (which i am so sorry about.) to live. I agree that this year should be lived to the absolute fullest you can. My own opinion is that if you tell them they would understand why you need to do this. But this is a decision you have to make. Good luck, I wish you all the happiness the world has to offer :)

Answer 6

Yes it would. Live life to the fullest WITH the people you love and who love you!!! Why travel the world alone, don't you want to share it with your husband? I can't begin to describe to you the hurt they will have when they finally do find out that you've been keeping it from them. They love you and will want to be with you. Try thinking of how it would feel if your loved one did such a thing to you. In the last months, you will need care, and lots of it. You won't just be having fun for a year and then go to sleep one day. Have as much fun as you can, with your loved ones around you to share, and let them love you and take care of you when the time comes and you need it.

Answer 7

Are you for real? If this isn't a ghoulish prank, then you obviously haven't known anyone who has gone through terminal cancer. You don't just bop around and then flop down dead one day. You are going to need your family and your husband. You will need their mental and moral support, and likely their physical support as well. As for not telling your husband, do you truly think just packing a bag and walking out without telling him anything is fair way to treat him? Didn't you each promise to love and honor, in sickness and in health? You aren't being fair to him, to your family, or to yourself.
I truly hope this is just a question in shockingly bad taste, because if it's for real, you need some counselling, and you need it now, because you will have a tough row to hoe.

PS: With the incredible advances being made in cancer research and treatment, it's very possible that a) you will go into remission and live for years or b) an outright cure will be found.

Answer 8

Wow, its hard to answer this because I'm not in the position. If my wife got cancer and was going to die I would want to know so I could travel the world with her. No one can tell you what is right but put yourself in the other position, how would you feel if the husband just packed his things and left? I can't answer this for you and neither can anyone else. Just use good judgment and hopefully you'll get a good answer.

Answer 9

If my uncle didn't tell our family.. them we wouldnt have gotton to spend our last year with him.. we treasured every moment we got to be with him.. adn we tried to treat him the same but you are right in the sense that no matter how hard we tried there's always alittle change in teh way we treated him..

Near the end you will most likely want to be with them... and you probably will be but of course its your own decision... things get really hard near the end

I'm so sorry you have to endure this... my uncle who had your same condition... I remember him saying... wow.. I can't believe all the support everyone has given me... I dont know if you would rather have alot of support from family or just live life to the fullest.. but whatever you wish will probably be the best choice

good luck

Answer 10

If any answerer supplies an volume of time then they're incorrect. It sounds like your chum continues to be getting dealt with for many cancers. I surely have buddies that have point 4 maximum cancers and has had it for an prolonged time 7 years. It purely strikes around in her physique and he or she is doing nice understanding that's her new existence. She takes on a daily basis separately and is taking area in all and sundry together with her kinfolk. of direction she might prefer to be rid of the remedies and diverse scientific institution visits, yet she is coping. It actually had accomplished an entire circle in her physique began in her colon, then to her lungs, and now this is back in her colon. So the certainty is, no one is familiar with. you ought to easily cherish the time you have with them and not focus plenty on how long she has left. Who is familiar with, you could desire to leave the earth till now her and additionally you have been stressful approximately her. I take on a daily basis as a recent. I attempt and do the main i will with all and sundry, and that i savour each and every thing I do on a daily basis, and that includes washing the dishes and doing the loos. So initiate new strategies inclusive of your chum. i'm particular she could desire to apply the get away. in the event that they're on chemotherapy do issues an afternoon till now their treatment, this is whilst they have the main potential.

Answer 11

You can follow your heart. I think it will be nice to tell you your husband and parents. Don't suffer by your self. When ever it happens they are the one that will be there for you to give the
final farewell. There are lots of support group you may consult to
get some idea. I don't know what is your religious affiliation, you may consult your spiritual adviser. You even be lucky you may
get well you never know. Just don't give up. I don't think they will treat you differently if you tell them your wish ahead of time. Just do what you wanted to do but don't do it without telling any one. They may support , you never know. When I told my families I am a diabetic, they were very supportive and lifted my spirit. I have been dealing with it for the last seven years with no medication just by diet and exercise. I know you are dealing with much greater issue. God with be with you.