Have some respect?

Question

If anyone else can relate to this,i know for sure you'd understand!
My ex was abbusive to me,would choke me a lot and throw me around as well as cover up my mouth and i couldn't breathe cuz he'd cover my nose too! And he used to put me in a choke hold,you know from behind. It's been over a year since we've broken up and i'm a lot happier and way better off,obviously,but there are some reprecussions...you know when someone will hug you from behind and put there arm around your shoulders and/or neck? Well,i told a guy friend about my whole situation and that i don't like when people do that becuz i almost freak out and pull their arm away cuz it brings back memory and is just habit cuz my ex did it so much. So,i told him all this and he still did it to me! Several times might i add. Now,he's just turned me off totally,cuz he should have respected what i told him since it's a very sensitive subject with me,of course! I wanna get over it,but it's just hard. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

KEEP iN MiND THAT SOME GUYS DON'T EXACTLY TAKE STUFF SERiOUSLY...SiT HiM DOWN AGAiN AND EXPLAiN THAT YOU ARE DEAD SERiOUS AND THiNGS WON'T WORK BETWEEN YOU TWO iF HE DOESN'T STOP....HE PROBABLY DOESN'T SEE HOW SERiOUS YOU ARE AND DOES iT TO BE JOKiNG OR FUNNY. TRY TO EXPLAIN IT ONE MORE TiME AND SEE WHERE iT GOES FROM THERE. BUT WHiLE YOU ARE EXPLAiNiNG iT DON'T ALLOW THERE TO BE ANY DiSTRACTiONS AND DON'T JOKE DURiNG THE CONVERSATiON AT ALL. HE MAY NOT SEE HOW ABUSiVE YOUR EX ACTUALLY WAS. JUST TALK TO HiM AND THAT WiLL PROBABLY HELP.

Answer 2

You were traumatized so of course those movements will still haunt you and be intrusive to you. You are smart for getting rid of the ex- way to go!!! And if you have new people in your life that cannot respect you or your limits, then get rid of them now before the same type of things start happening again. It is a huge step to recognize you don't want to be treated in that manner and you are very brave for putting your foot down now. Keep sticking up for your beliefs and when you project happiness soon those people who can bring happiness in your life will be all around you. Good luck sweetie!

Answer 3

The man's an idiot. He obviously hasn't been through anything as traumatic as this. Maybe he doesn't realize how hard it can be coping with the memories. If he does in again belt him as hard as you can. Don't do anything to seriously hurt him though. Let him see how much it scares you and if he still doesn't learn then get rid of him. You don't need fools like that xx

PS I don't promote violence but if he aint gonna listen then show him

Answer 4

It is hard and he should have respected you, it takes alot of time to get over abuse, did you ever go to counselling to talk things out? I would tell any future boyfriends when things start to get any seriousness to them or romantic that you don't like that kind of cuddling. Maybe at some point you can have them ask you if it's ok to hug you like that, then you would be warned ahead of time and not surprized and fear ful.

Answer 5

an ex boyfriend of mine was really mean like that one time he had sex with me and i didnt like it so he tried to suficate me and now i wake up in the middle of the night thinking i cant breath. you cant really take the memory away its sticks. what you can do though is let yourself know not everyone is like that and you can just live your life day by day and second by second and dont let anything get in your way.!!!!!! and remind yourself he isnt in your life any more.

Answer 6

yes, yell stop!....you have a right to say stop to anyone, anywhere.....
...........been there...in fact I was remembering those black and blue wrists...and my doctor asking ....after I finally left.....I knew you didn't fall down the steps all those times!!!

.......honesty.