Last name issue?

Question

Would it be wrong to change my last name to my daughter's (her sperm donor's) last name? Could my husband and I do it legally without any repercussions? Her sperm donor does not have any contact (of his own free will) but he won't give up his rights. Which I don't understand, but that's another story. My husband is willing to do it, as he has no ties to his current last name. Do you think it is possible?

My daughter does not know her real father. She would be better off not knowing forever (although I plan to tell her eventually) I just think her childhood would be better if she were not to know about her dead-beat excuse for a father. My husband is the only father she has ever known, and she is too young now to make the connection of the last names yet.
I just think her life would be more normal this way. If the father were a part of her life, I would feel differently. It has not been my choice for her not to know him. (but not my responsibility, either)

I can't change her name...It's not legally possible if he has legal rights to her. I've checked that out already.

Answer 1

go for it.
if that would make u feel more like a family. i dont see anything wrong.

Answer 2

I don't see any harm in changing her name if her real father isn't a part of her life but, legally you have to have both parents consent to change a child's name, unless the father's parental rights are taken away and that can only happen if your current husband adopts her and if the biological father has neglected to see her or pay child support for two years or more.

Answer 3

It is possible, very easy and shouldn't be very expensive, and you are just wonderful for wanting your family to all have the same name. It means a lot to kids to have the same name as mom and dad.

If her donor has no contact for a certain period of time and pays no child support, it's possible for you to claim abandonment and your current husband can legally adopt her.

Answer 4

Does your husband want to adopt the child then she could have his last name. Only draw back is real father must sign adoption papers

Answer 5

I suggest you both rethink all this... I think changing your last name to hers would cause more confusion in the long run for HER.... I really do...... I am sitting here trying to picture the future and I just can not see any good that would come of it at all.... I understand the *want* behind it, and I am realy touched your husband is willing, but ........... of course the decision is yours alone..... good luck and God bless

Answer 6

I guess I am not sure what is going on. A lot of moms remarry and have a different last name than their kids. It is no big deal. My own children have a different last name and no one has ever questioned me about it.

Why would you want to change you and your husband's names just because your daughter has a different one? When she is older she will have friends in the same situation, so she will not be "different."

Answer 7

If he has no contact with her and pays no child support, you could probably force him to give up his rights, and then just change her name to yours. Would you really want this guy's last name?

Answer 8

Why not change her last name to yours & you husband's? Doesn't that make a lot more sense?

Answer 9

I don't know if it is right or wrong, I just think it isn't necessary. Many people have different last names in this society. Many married people chose to keep their names after marriage for many reasons.