My fiance and I have been together for around 5 years and living together for 1 or 2 (and there were two short breakups within that time). We've gone through some very tough times, but we're still engaged. My problem, I think, is that I don't know how to let go of the past; I'm scared that history is going to repeat itself. I believe his problem is that he really doesn't follow through on what he says he will do. We also have in-law problems. I've heard that relationships require work, but how hard is it supposed to be? I keep telling myself that there are better days ahead, but we argue all the time (we are both extremely stubborn). Does anyone have any advice on how best to resolve differences between two people in a relationship? I don't want to break up with him again because I've tried that, and despite the arguments, there's no one I'd rather be with. I just want this relationship to work out. Thanks in advance for all of your responses.
2006-11-20 13:51:12 · 4 answers · asked by Persephone 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wish I had sought out help like you are doing when my boyfriend and I started going through rough times. Instead I waited until it was too late and we're broken up.
In order to deal with the breakup I've plunged into reading all these relationship books. Yes, VERY cheesy, but quite inciteful. I wish I had read them while we were still together, but hopefully these will help prevent me from making future mistakes.
My top two titles:
The Five Languages of Love (ESPECIALLY useful for long-term married/engaged couples)
The Birthorder Connection (also great insight into how your order of birth shaped your personality and how you are in relationships)
I also recommend the New York Times Bestseller "How to Win Friends and Influence People" It was written for business people, but the advice in there will help you create harmony in EVERY relationship, it works VERY well and has made me more serene and at peace with the people in my life.
Best of luck, with your desire to work on and improve the relationship, you will go far!!!
2006-11-20 14:01:11 · answer #1 · answered by SummerPixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I have the best advice for you, I just broke up with my b/f of 18 months because I felt we were too different to make a go of it. Have you tried counselling? Based on a 5 year history together, the two of you should try anything that might help. It sounds like you really love him, and if he loves you, he will be willing to go to counselling with you to figure out why you fight so much. A couples counsellor should also be able to teach you two some techniques of addressing issues that won't lead to an argument.
Best of luck to you. I hope it all works out.
2006-11-20 14:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dally4now2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never too early to seek counseling. Two stubborn people are going to meet head-on often and you guys need to decide what is important and what is not. You will both have to "pick your battles". Neither of you will be right all of the time and neither of you will be wrong all of the time. Like it or not, one of you will have to bow out and just take one for the relationship.
For the sake of the relationship, give pre-marital counseling a shot...and if you can't coexist peacefully after that, it's time to split! If you can't be around each other without fighting about something, maybe it isn't meant to be.
Good luck...
2006-11-20 14:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Yeah, it's good 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want to improve it.........
when two person getting together, if two person are hard. When two of them bang together, it's easy to break.
when two person getting together, if 1 person are hard and the other must be soft. When two of them bang together, it's NOT easy to break.
Do this helps you?
2006-11-20 13:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by peter71 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋