What do you think about a girl dating one of her best friend's exes??

Question

I have a best friend of ten years, since high school, and she has broken up with a really great guy to date a bunch of other men, and has even slept with three of them. Problem is that I really like her ex and he really likes me. She was always really mean to him and he could never do anything right. They were known as " That" couple that always fought in front of everyone and made everyone feel uncomfortable. I NEVER tried anything when they were together and only recently started to crush on him, he has talked to me alot as well and wants to date me but I feel guilty; as if he and I would be cheating. I don't want to betray my friend but I also don't want to miss out on a really great chance with a fantastic man. Please help with honest answers.

Answer 1

I know that going out with a best friends ex looks bad but let me be honest with you, the relationship has been over for some time now and it doesn't seem like they are going to ever get back together again the other thing if you and your friend has been together for a long time maybe you should rethink about what you are doing, Is the friendship tight? or is it that you and her have different ways of seeing and doing things but she is your friend and perhaps you should talk to her and let her know just what your true intentions are about her exboyfriend so she will not feel like you have betrayed her in any way...Also if you and the young man like each other then both of you need to talk about that as well and find out how are you going to handle it.

Let's understand you have a friend for 10 years and a ex boyfriend of hers and you care about him...If you care then you will do the right thing and talk to her and then both of you go and talk to her and let her know how you both feel..It would be better than sneaking around and hiding from her when she might find out anyway...Actually she might not even care if you do but give her the respect and tell her..him too and let the cards fall where they may....Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Well, she ruined her chance that's her fault. There "shouldn't" be anything wrong with it. But there is, you know how the code goes. But sound s like you might care about this guy. Make sure he's not trying to date you just to hurt her. And talk to her about what she would think about it. Asking her is the only way not to step on her toes. But whats most important is your happiness. And after all if she is a true friend she will get over it. and want you to be happy. Just do what your heart tells you. Good luck. I've been there. I also have been in his shoes and her shoe s too. It's a hard decision but I think you already know what to do.

Answer 3

If there is no engagement or marriage and she has gone on with her life or attempting to ...... and there has been some timeframe, how does that constitute cheating?

If there is more confusion than enjoyment, there is no real relationship.

Talk more as friends to be sure of feelings and to ensure that the desire to date is shared by both of you ..... this will also allow him time to be sure he is past her ..... this keeps you from the risk of being hurt and possibly losing a friend because they "got over their mad".

Once it is confirmed that she has moved on then it should not be of jepordy to any relationship.

Best wishes!

Answer 4

Thats a hard one...its one of those unsaid rules that you NEVER date your bestfriends ex's but i see where you are also coming from...you's could also be right for each other (where maybe they werent...) thats a hard one...make sure its something you REALLY want because doing this could ruin your friendship...just put that into consideration when deciding what to do....it could really hurt your friend and it could be weird to talk bout him if you's get together (You have to be able to goss bout your bf with your bestfriend!! lol...its a girl thing...) but that mite be weird with her seeing its her ex...

My advice...if you really like the guy and think it mite work then talk to her about it FIRST...and see what she says...she mite be ok with it seeing you were mature enough to ask her bout it first...she will then see that you must really like him to have come to her first...good luck...(dont be too mad at her if shes not ok with it tho...coz it could be hard for her too...)

Answer 5

You mean why might she choose the permission of her ultimate chum to this point you? i can not tell, too many nonspecific pronouns. if that's the case, it hurts. there is something in the girl code (imaginery) that asserts do no longer date adult men your ultimate chum has dated. a chum of mine broke that rule with my previous love, and it made it ten circumstances extra stable to recover from him, because of the sensation of betrayal I felt from her, and consequentially from him, in view that in case you go with for somebody good after harm up, it shows little look after them. no be counted the condition, it rather is respectful to no longer do it, or to attend an prolonged, long term till all thoughts could subside.

Answer 6

Sometimes you have to take a chance. First, see if she minds.
Then you'll not feel sneaky, nor can she say you were not above board! Do consider: could he be trying to make her jealous by using you? Think it over & follow your heart.

Answer 7

i understand cause i liked this guy for a long time and i never told my friend and now her and him go out but he wanted to be with me before he got with her but he says i waited too late and i still really like him but she really likes him too and i wouldnt go out with him because she is my bff and no guy is gonna come between us

Answer 8

If he always fought with her then he may do the same with you. If she slept with him and they were fighting then it seems like all they were in it for was sex.

Answer 9

if ur that good of friends then talk to her about it. if she is ur true friend then she will want what makes u happy.

Answer 10

If she is truley your friend then leave it alone. It is not worth it ...trust me