i went to a soccer game one night, with people not from my school. this girl came up to me and said, "my brother thinks you're hot, and wanted me to give you his myspace. he's too much of a chicken to tell you himself." and she gave me a piece of paper with a link and walked away. i didn't even know who he was. i went back home and added him, and he's REALLY REALLY REALLY attractive. he talked to me a little at first, and commented my pictures about how "gorgeous" i am and stuff. i get that a lot, not to be vain or anything. he asked for my screen name. i am only 14 years old, and a freshman. he is a 17 year old junior. BUT i told him i'm a 15 year old sophomore because i was afraid he'd think freshman are lame. he wants to hang out at the mall this weekend, and he just asked me on aim "do you kiss on the first date??"
i'm kind of nervous. how do i act? what should i say? what should i doooo?
2006-11-20 13:26:53 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you should have told him you were a freshman, maybe if you explained that he'd be okay with it? My friend who is also a freshman, went out with a 17 year old.[[he's not 18]] Although I didn't approve, it happened. Anyways back to your problem. Well think, do you wan't to go to the mall with him? Are you scared he is going to do something you can't handle? Then sign off and block him, no risks like that are worth taking. On the other hand, you can be honest and respect yourself by saying you wont kiss on the first date and you'd like to bring a friend of yours with you to the mall, and tell him he can bring one also if he would like. I'm sure this will make things a little more comfortable. Try to get to know him in person, myspace can be mis-leading, so can AIM. Just remember to be yourself and if you feel uncomfortable, don't be afraid to speak up and tell someone, he will either resent it or find you an even betetr person for caring about yourself.
Hope this helps.
Sorry if I rambled.
2006-11-20 13:33:49 · answer #1 · answered by love xx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of things. First, dont lie about your age. It's not something that will stand up to scrutiny and may eventually cause mistrust once it's sorted out later that you didnt tell the truth in the beginning.You don't want th be the "lyin chick".
Based on his kissing question I will gravitate the next 2 answers toward the relations side of things. Second, don't get in over your head. You may not be as experienced as he is. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to make decisions on sexual matters and may do the wrong thing for yourself because of expectations you beleive he has.(or he actually has). You dont want to put yourself into a potentially uncomforatble predicament.where you feel have do soemthing you are not ready to do or embarass yourself by bailing out.
Finally, Make sure your parents are soemwhat apprised of this situation because if something does ultimately happen, you hapen to be the 3 year age difference14-17, That is poison because you tread into that statutory category where angry parents can have their 15 year old daughters 17 year old boyfriends arrested for being with a minor. I
understand that sex crimes legislation was not meant to foul up 17 year old boys with younger girlfriends, but the law is the law and an angry parent can exploit that and get an otherwise good kid into a crapstorm of trouble. And then these teens have to register right there along with the peodphiles when they enter a town (because officially they are pedophiles even though we all know that 's not what a pedophile really is.)
Just be careful and I would say that as flattered as you are, youmight want to consider waiting another year before exploring this again. You are still really young. Just use your head and don't be embarassed to walk away if things go in a direction that potential pressure may result in an uncomfortable situation.
2006-11-20 21:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by stymie1970 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, be honest and let him know you're age. Second relax, if he likes you let him make the moves BUT take it slow, you are only 14 and after reading a question here about how this 14 yo gir is pregnant to a 17 yo guy, this needs to be said; You are just a kid so don't go too fast! Be your normal beeautiful self and he will respond to that person, don't be fake or lie through life and relationships, its more trouble than its worth. Go to the movies and chill out with him, get to know him before you throw away kisses, if he really likes you he will wait. Enjoy yourself at the mall.
2006-11-20 21:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by geronemo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being nervous is natural. Because you actually don't him that well. Give some time and your nervousness will go away. Act naturally, be logic. Don't worry too much to what you say, that would make you more silent. Ask him some questions, get to know him better. A good conversation can make you think better. That can tell you what to do next.
P.S. You don't have to kiss unless feel safe enough.
Most of all. You be better off to have your parents understanding of what you are doing. Because you are 14 and learning a new thing called dating.
2006-11-20 21:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mattman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all don't lie, thats a bad start. Hanging out at the mall is ok, but keep in mind that a 17 year old guy is looking for alot more than that in the end. You need to be truthful with him about your age, and if he is not ok with that, u have to understand. You are very young and u don't want to get involved in something u can't handle. Take it very slow and see how it goes, and don't do anything u will regret later.
2006-11-20 21:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay...
1st things first...
sorry to say, you're first mistake was your lie.... but it can be fixed... so you have to be careful...
usually I'd tell you to stop, lying will be too much... but this guy could be different... he's definitely interested... so no need to worry too much about messing up
don't act dorky.... keep it cool, and be funny and interesting the ENTIRE time (just don't lie anymore)
which BTW.... age wouldn't have mattered... as long as you're beautiful and cool... and as long as he's not 18, you would have been fine being 14... since he's just looking to meet you... not have sex with you...
but remember he's 17 and could be shallow.... so he could just be interested in a kiss or more and good-bye... so be prepared... and DON'T expect too much... just try to see what he what he wants, ask him questions... usually a caring guy cares about alot more things than just girls.... (friends, family, school) so he won't be a total jerk, loser, or psycho if he's down to earth (ask him questions or tell him stories like "i'm having such a hard time at school, but i really wanna pass and become a (whatever you wanna major in), what about you?"... get the idea...) remember one thing...
you're fourteen (or fifteen in his eyes) so don't be hasty about sex... cuz it's not the answer... and i wouldn't risk it with a guy who you met a game... trust me twice on that... you might get in more trouble than just with yourself
and the kiss... maybe on the cheek... if he's not COMPLETELY shallow... and actually likes your personality, a little respect for yourself just "puts the cheery on top" for him....
and if you like him... and want to have a good relationship, giving yourself up even if it's just a kiss, says a lot... and he might or might not like that...
remember, ask him about him, tell him about you... if you don't connect... it doesn't matter and it's so not worth screwing yourself over for... you're pretty right... so alot more guys will come... look at that, a soccer game... how easy was it just to stand there and get a guy....
be strong and don't do anything stupid.... and HAVE FUN!!
haha... need more help... e-mail me....
DR. Connect
2006-11-20 21:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by DR. Connect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok if people say ur pretty all the time then y are u stressing over this guy be yourself and tell him they truth if he doesnt like it then u will find someone else u need to worry about school boys will come and go and he seems at lil 2 horny maybe you should think about what he wants from u whatever it is dont be stupid and if he wants a kiss make him earn it by buying u something( not food) ok if he is going 2 use u use him first be safe and on ur toes
2006-11-20 21:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by Alexis B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet him at the mall just act yourself and if doesnt like you for you then hes clearly not worth your time, and dont put yourself into a situation that you dont want to do. You are only 14 he is 17 you two may have different things in mind. Dont let him pressure you
2006-11-20 21:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going to be really Honest he just wants PUSSY !!!!! ok im 21 years old when i was a freshman i was 14 years old and seniors and jr's wanted to get with me and i wasent a hoe or anything they just saw me cause they new i was fresh meat and i fell for it big time !!! the sad part is i ended up geting pregnant at 16 !! im not saying oh thats how your going to turn out but be wise your still young keep yourself and wait for the older guys ok men will respect you more if you respect yourself especially when your older !! now say you get with this guy and eventually end up sleeping with him, Im telling you now MARK MY WORDS other dudes arent going to want you so sweetheart just wait a pretty face aint worth it !!!!!
2006-11-20 21:38:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth, that you are freshman, it's better if you tell him, and why instead of him finding it out, because then he won't trust you anymore, tell him that first, then about the age thing, i personally think he is a little too old, but if he is nice, and hasn't done anything bad, and you go with a group on the first couple of dates and see what your friends think, then maybe it will work out, but you have to tell him
2006-11-20 21:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by yeah yeah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋