if you had the money would you pay off his divorce debt of 30k? What would you think if you said no and he said he would have to reconsider your relationship with him as he would do it for you. The old if you love me why won't you help me out.
2006-11-20 13:01:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Absolutely not! Believe me, if you start paying off his debts for him, this will not be the last time it's asked of you. My friend fell into this with her ex-husband, and by the time she finally got wise, she had had to file bankruptcy and her credit was destroyed. Now he has moved on to another woman and is following the same pattern. I urge you not to do this. The point is that he may say he would do it for you, but you are not asking him to. I would be the one reconsidering this relationship. The truth is that if HE loved YOU, he would know better than to even ask. Good luck to you. You deserve not to do this.
One more thing: If you do go through with marriage to this man, please keep your finances separate from his. He WILL hurt your credit and your chances of ever getting free if you need to.
2006-11-20 13:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
jane: In spite of the bad vibes you feel from him asking you to pay off his 30K debt(s), be GLAD that he asked you BEFORE you tied the "knot" with him. This is because, you now know what kind of guy and the type of relationship you are heading into. There are all kinds of guys out there waiting to find themselves a free ride with the first girl (woman) who is stupid enough to have him. No man worth his "salt" would ever bring a debt into the relationship - especially a $ 30K debt ! It took him 3 years to "size" you up. Either; he had amassed the debt during the 3 years (or part of it), or he did have a 30K debt prior to entering the relationship - which? -Who knows for sure ! I can assure you that this man-in-the-red is taking you for a ride. Do NOT marry him - he is a user / abuser ! He probably blames his first wife for the initial marriage break up. Send your b/f packing - you can find someone better than him ! He will NEVER love nor respect you if you dole out the dough for the 30K debt ! If you start now, you will always be the provider for the marriage emotionally, as well as, financially ! ( And I thought the ol' "If you love me you will" line was used only to use a girl [woman] for sex ! Well; this is an education to me as well. Good luck to you "jane" !!!
2006-11-20 13:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl it sounds like this guy is using you! If he really loved you he wouldn't expect this of you, I mean it's his mess, he should get a job and clean it up. You had nothing to do with his ex-*****, thats what I would say. You should find out the real reason they divorced. If you pay it off, he'll lose respect for you and think he can run all over you. What would you do if you pay it off and then it doesnt' work out for yall? You would be so mad!!!!!!!!!!!Just think about this. Girl don't do it!!!!!!!!!1
2006-11-20 13:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW! i might say "See ya later"! Why might he ought to reassess the dating? Is he in love with you or your money....Oh by no ability-strategies I already figured that one out. And as a approaches because of the fact the "previous in case you like me why won't you help me out" tell him guilt journeys are unlikely to make a good dating...this is what you concept you had with him....and thank him for clearing that up till now you mentioned I do! Gezz what the hell is misguided with some adult men at present....makes me prefer to have a intercourse substitute LOL ultimate of success...and remember "there is not any think approximately there being 2 fools in the comparable deal"
2016-10-17 07:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel like the man was using me. Stand your ground and don't pay off anything. This is his mess that he got himself into. How is he ever going to learn how to be a man/husband/father if he can't stand on his own feet. Sometimes love has to be tough for the greater good.
2006-11-20 13:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with it. But if he reacts like that, then he's only with you for the money. It's been 3 long years, why not? But then again, why would he ask you in the first place?
2006-11-20 13:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sonia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is any kind of man he wouldn't ask you to pay off his bills . Sounds kinda fishy to me. But i don't know him like you do so do what you think is the best way to handle it. GOOD LUCK
2006-11-20 13:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by icddppl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would think he is a manipulative bastard, and I would re-evaluate the relationship. That is code for dumping him. He is using you for your money. Seems a little too transparent. You know this in your heart.
2006-11-20 13:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just tell him u will help him out but he also has to work it of and pay for it as well cause hes the one who owes money not you
2006-11-20 13:04:54 · answer #9 · answered by rk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like hes just using you for money.
2006-11-20 13:06:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋