My 19 1/2 month old has night terrors, what can I do?

Question

My 19 1/2 month old wakes 2-3 times a night and just starts screaming. He doesnt seem to be awake yet Im not sure because he comes into our room and crawls into bed with us. I gently put him back to bed, but a few minutes to an hour later, he does it again. Doctor says to let him scream but then my husband complains and wants to give in to him and let him sleep in our bed. Not only that, he wakes my 4 1/2 month old up and then I have to get her back to sleep. Im about to pull my hair out. I just want one night that I can get a full nights rest. Husband doesnt get up with the kids, typical man that he is. Doesnt do much with them except things that make him happy like playing with them or taking them places...but thats a different story. How can I get him to sleep peacefully so I can too?

Im not really sure if it is night terrors or not. Daddy spoils him and lets him go to sleep on him then I put him to bed. I wonder if its because of that. Because he falls asleep on us and wakes up and we are not there, but that still doesnt seem right because he wakes fine in the mornings, its only at night that he does this. not even at naptime. Ive tried night lights thinking hes afraid of the dark, but with the light on, he wants to play. I can get him to go to sleep on his own, and daddy isnt being supportive about it either. I cant let him sleep in our bed or else I really dont get any sleep with him kicking me all night, he wants to sleep pratically on top of me. Ive tried everything. Even tried the letting him cry it out thing but then he starts banging his head. I dont know what else to do...

I have tried the staying in there til he falls asleep, Ive tried reading to him, he loses interest, Ive tried giving him a treat, he is just so stubborn like his daddy that nothing seems to work. I really truly think the main problem is my husband not supporting me on the subject. He likes for him to fall asleep on him, then Im the one that gets up and puts him to bed. Hes even gotten made at me saying Im doing it for spite (!@#$!). He just doesnt understand the importance of him going to sleep on his own and its making it very hard on me. I wish someone would just come around and slap him around a bit, I would but Im his wife and it doesnt matter what I do. Here I am now, changing the subject onto my husband...the subject is my little boy...lol...HE IS very spoiled, Ill admit, being the oldest child, but I still think my husband wasnt done being raised until he came to me...lmao!

Answer 1

Hylands Calms Forte' for Kids sleep aid is a homeopathinc (herbal) melt away for toddlers & kids that is non habit forming & safe to take w/ any other medicine. I use it when my 2.5yo is overtired and can't settle down. It says it works for night terrors to. check it out at hylands.com

i dont' believe in a pill to treat everything.. but he needs sleep. for 5$ a bottle its not a bad option.. even if it doens't work.

(hylands makes those teething tabs that so many mothers sear by)

it would also be a good idea to gradually let him learn to fall asleep in his own bed.. try staying in the room for a month or so while he drifts off but refuse to lay down w/ him.

After a while you can tell him you need to go into another room & he can lay there and be a big boy.

This is just a phase & it will pass. Kids usally need some kind of parenting to get them down until age 3-4. Love and patience are key.

Answer 2

You'll know if it's night terrors... there isn't anything you can do to calm them down, they don't appear to see you, they may have their eyes open, but they aren't aware that you are there, and they never remember it in the morning. If this is what you are observing, then here is how to stop it. About half an hour before he typically wakes, wake him and get him up for a few minutes. It doesn't matter what you do- have him get a drink, just talk to him for a few minutes, whatever. This breaks the sleep cycle and keeps him from moving into the deepest sleep where night terrors occur. However, from what you are describing about how he comes to get into bed with you, it doesn't sound like night terrors to me. It sounds more like he is used to sleeping with you and daddy and may be having nightmares. You and his daddy are going to have to work together if you are going to solve this problem. You both have to agree on the course of action you are going to take when he starts to cry at night... either you let him into your bed, or you make him go back to his own. The best decision is what works for you and your husband. Personally, I think it will be much harder for you to move your little guy out of your bed the older he gets- so my advice is to start now. Making sure to take him back to his bed EACH time he crawls into yours, telling him you are there for him if he needs help, and having your husband do the same, should help.

Answer 3

If he is waking up it probably isn't night terrors:

Night terrors are distinct from nightmares in several key ways. First, the subject is not fully awake when roused, and even when efforts are made to awaken the sleeper, he/she may continue to experience the night terror for ten to twenty minutes. Unlike nightmares, night terrors occur during the deepest levels of non-REM sleep. Even if awakened, the subject often cannot remember the episode except for a sense of panic, while nightmares usually can be easily recalled. After the night terror is complete, it can often result in a seizure, which is commonly a tonic-clonic type (although the subject may not be epileptic). The subject often has no recall of the dream, nor the fit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors

If it isn't night terrors you son hould be able to discuss his scarey dreams, maybe that would help along with some "monster repellant" or something?

Answer 4

He doesn't need a sleep therapist (sheesh obviously that person doesn't have children huh?), Daddy needs to stop spoiling him for one thing. for another night terrors are quite common. All you "need" to do is check on him make sure he is ok, maybe pat his back a bit then go back to bed. DO NOT let him sleep with you when he screams. And the 4 year old WILL survive these night terror, or find another room for the 4 year old to sleep in.

Answer 5

My daughter used to do that...it was soo embarassing..because when my husband and i just started dating we stayed the night and she woke up in one of her night terrors...ripped up the cable cord...pulled the tv down and was throwing things...and screaming her head off...i swear to god the kid wasnt awake we tried putting a little water on her..i know it sounds horrible but we couldnt get her awake...the only thing i can tell you to do is just let him start sleepign with you i know it sucks...but i still let my daughter sleep with us...they grow out of it after while...the night terrors but til then the doctor told us just to deal with it..so i just give in...goodluck to you and yes i know it can be rough...maybe during the day you could take him to a mothers day out or something so you can get some sleep...or let him stay over at someones house for a night...the grandparents..?

Answer 6

I would continue with putting him back to bed. If your husband has a problem make him a sleeping bag style bed in your sons room and let him know it's there. On the opposite make a bed for your little boy in your room and let him know that if he stays in His bed he can be in your room so he'll know your close to him. Let him know that if he gets in your bed you'll move him back to his own room. He can wake up and see you sleeping but not have to wake you up.
Just out of curiostity are you sure aren't married to MY husband!!
Good luck my sons starting the same kind of thing he wants us to sit in his room while he lays awake in bed for hours.

Answer 7

i wud say you need to mind what you let the kids watch and see.. noggin has a lot of kid friendly shows that kids love..

A night lamp would also be a good thing. you can leave it on.. talk your child to sleep and remind them that you will protect them from anything and they do not need to be afraid.

a nice warm bath in the evening with a glass of milk and a cookie tends to send kids to sleep peacefully. have you also tried saying a prayer.. I always found it effective to just say Angels watch over my nephew as he sleeps.

Answer 8

it sounds like your child likes to sleep in your bed so when he wakes up in hes bed he gets made because you are not there do you stay in his bed until he falls asleep if you do try not to my daughter had the same problem i use to stay in there until she fell asleep and when she woke up and i was not there she got mad try to read a story to him and give him a special treat to him if he stays in his bed when you leave i use chocolate milk

Answer 9

I have no solution for you. My daughter suffered from it too. Thank goodness she grew out of it. It was one of the worst times of my life. I would lock myself in the bathroom because she would just stand there and scream. There was absolutely nothing I could do.

Good luck!! I understand your frustration!

Answer 10

Call Doctor Phil