Sorry if this isn't a very kind question...
Everytime that if my mother-in-law calls, I feel she actually just wanna talk to her son (my husband). And this question came in my mind: Could a mother-in-law really love her daughter-in-law..?
Women are mor sensititive in a relationship. Does a mother-in-law sometimes feel daughter-in-law take her son away and get defense or dislike d-in-law?
2006-11-20 12:08:28 · 33 answers · asked by whatsup2015 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Some mother in laws really do feel like their daughter in laws are just taking their son away. It's just one of those feelings they can't get rid of sometimes. Some people are just like that.
But not everyone is like that. My dad's mom is bitter towards our family. It's messed up. I don't wanna delve into the whole story. But I just thought I'd let you know you're not the only one and yes, it does happen.
A mother in law can really truly love her daughter in law though.
2006-11-20 12:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
what's : Yes; a mother-in-law can feel that her daughter-in-law is vieing for her son. Yes; mother-in-laws can become defensive and dislike their daughter-in-law. Sometimes, in a bad marriage, a mother, who doesn't feel loved by her husband and is being neglected by him, will turn her focus on her son instead of dealing with the marriage relationship problem. Suddenly, the mother's son finds a girlfriend and eventually gets engaged a married. The son is no longer available to the mother. The mother is stuck in this bad marriage relationship with her husband and has no son [daughter] to now, focus on. So; the mother does the next convenient thing and that is, to become overly involved in her son's [daughter's] marriage relationship, instead of fixing her own.
This can lead to interference in her son's marriage, putting down her son's wife [daughter-in-law] , fighting, and even, playing the grand children against their own mother [son] !!! It can lead to break up of the marriage and divorce. The best way to handle this is the son or daughter of the mother needs to have a good talk with her and should she [mother] still interfere in the marriage, to not have anything to do with her. This might mean moving away or avoiding her. You are married to your mate not your interfering mother. Signs that you are dealing with a "clinging" mother of your potential mate are: critical of you or the way you do things, bad-mouths you behind your back to your potential mate, embarasses you when others are around or talks about personal things which are none of her business. The mother-in-law from hell tries her best to stop you from marrying her son [daughter]. Hope this helps you out, "what's up" .
2006-11-20 12:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I married my first husband my Grandmother told me that my mother-in-law could be my best friend or my worst enemy.
My own Mother was not very "motherly" to me and my husband's mother filled a special place in my life and in my heart.
I am happy to say she has been my best friend (I had to overlook some of her behaviours!), but my husband died when he was 40 and mother-in-law and I remained close. I re-married 10 years ago and she came all the way from England to Canada for my wedding!
My new husband & I have a daughter together and my mother-in-law is not only Grandma to the children I had with her son, but also to the daughter I have with my new husband!
So, yes, mothers-in-law can truly love their daughters-in-law.
Be kind to her, she has loved her son since before he was born, she has to share him with you, so be kind to her.
2006-11-20 17:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think so. My mother-in law calls me all the time, just to see how my day was. It is pretty much a ritual. I feel completely accepted and I believe that her love is genuine. As for the second part of your question, I do believe that it is possible for a mother to feel like the new wife has stolen her baby boy. She might not even feel that she is worthy. That would be my mom, and my new sister-in-law. But that is another story.
2006-11-20 12:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by sharon_misspriss 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think what you express, that sometimes a mother-in-law may resent her daughter-in-law, it does not always or maybe even often happen. I know that my mother liked one of her son's husbands and did truly love the other. I think the difference was more in how my brother's wives responded to Mom. One treated Mom like another mother and Mom responded to that.
But I must admit neither wife tried to limit my brother's time or relationship with their birth family.
2006-11-20 12:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by MUD 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are dreaming of a world where a mother in law selflessly loves her daughter in law thhen please wake up. We must be practical. I am not saying hate her... but just be practical. Respect her and care for her as she is elder to you and for bringing up your husband and thats it. Once you start treating the relationship like that the expectations will lower. Its all about setting boundaries after taking your spouse in confidence.. I hope I have answered.
2014-03-20 23:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been blessed with a loving ex-mother-in-law, and a wonderful mother-in-law. I am close to both women. I gave the first two beautiful grandsons, and the second peace of mind that her son is loved and well cared for.
My boys are both grown, and both have nice girlfriends. I want to be as good to them as I have been lucky enough to be treated by my "moms". They are not in some kind of competition with me. They both know I love my boys, and I love them too.
2006-11-20 12:31:36 · answer #7 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband was my mother-in-laws only child, and I don't think she liked me much at first. (I was his second wife-first one was a real tramp)
To top things off, I was babysitting my 3 month old cousin when we first met. She was very cold to me at first, but when she wanted to know how old my baby was, and I informed her it wasn't my baby, she warmed up.
It still took some time, but in the end, before she died, I really think she loved me. I was always respectful towards her and I helped her out as much as I could. She adored our 2 children. She thought I took great care of her grandchildren, so I think that helped also.
It just takes some time, every relationship is different. I can't see it happening overnight, but with time, she will see why her son loves you so much. You have all of her baby boys attention, give her a chance to get used to it.
I really like the suggestion in a previous answer to tell her what a great job she did raising her son and you appreciate her.
Love her, she will love you back.
Good Luck!
2006-11-20 12:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by sylvrrain 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i did no longer come across a question yet enjoyed analyzing it besides. this is sweet advice or maybe nonetheless no one asked you, thank you for writing it. As a MIL i might prefer to function an uncomplicated MYOB MIL. Translated ability strategies your person employer mom In regulation. to no longer the above author, she's cool. yet please ... MIL's .. do no longer supply advice once you're no longer asked and don't tell each and each guy or woman a thank you to do something. you could nicely be very experienced at being a mom, grandmother....etc. yet issues substitute from time to time and kinfolk to kinfolk. So, if all of us MOurOB each and every person is happy. it rather is annoying to no longer tell a DIL she is putting the diaper on the incorrect end of the toddler yet she'll locate out quickly sufficient.
2016-10-17 07:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've had 2 mother-in-laws and from what I've seen, they will never love you like their son. My in-laws always give their own kids something for their birthday but I don't get anything from them. Makes me feel like I'm really part of the family.
2006-11-20 12:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋