My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 and half months, and I would never have guessed she was a virgin. She is such a beautiful girl on the inside and out, I mean she's gorgeous!!!!! And can have any guy she wants. She is 24 years old and wants to have sex; but every time we get close to having sex she freaks out! The last time I went down on her for the first time everything was going fine then her legs began to tremble; until she was on the brink of an orgasm, and sobbing, no, over, and over again. I immediately stopped and held her in my arms (like always when she about to have an orgasm!) I held her in my arms while she cried, and told her everything’s going to be okay. I've tried several times to get her to have an orgasm, but nothing works. She’s too afraid! I thought that maybe she was raped or something like that but she assured me that’s not the case, and that she’s never had an orgasm before, and gets a little frighten when she about to have one. I want her to be ready before we have intercourse for the first time but I a man and I need to get laid!!!! Don’t get me wrong I love her very much, and care about how she feels, but how can I help her over come her fear?
2006-11-20 10:37:56 · 12 answers · asked by campkiwago 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I’ve asked her more then once if anything happen to her sexually in the pass, against her own will. And it’s the same answer all the time “no”. The only thing I can come up with is that she was adopted when she was a baby into a really strict Jewish family who never talks and (FROWN UPOAN) anything sexual. But (Violet) my girlfriend has nothing against sex, and we talk about it all the time.
2006-11-20 11:38:41 · update #1
I’ve asked her more then once if anything happen to her sexually in the pass, against her own will. And it’s the same answer all the time “no”. The only thing I can come up with is that she was adopted when she was a baby into a really strict Jewish family who never talks and (FROWN UPOAN) anything sexual. But (Violet) my girlfriend has nothing against sex, and we talk about it all the time.
2006-11-20 11:38:47 · update #2
Could it be that being raised in a in a strict Jewish family and never really talking about sex, be the reason for her problem??? Dose anyone know what it's like to be raised in a Jewish Family?? Please Share your experience!
2006-11-20 11:52:45 · update #3
You know James, when I first started having sex, I was scared to have an orgasm too. The feeling that you are about to come actually feels very similar to needing to go to the toilet, and part of me was scared I was going to wet myself. It took AGES before I felt able to come. If your girlfriend was sobbing and trembling, you must have got her very, very close (wow, you must be good!!). Coming during oral sex is also very intimate, and she may have just felt shy about it.
The truth is, if she has never masturbated herself to orgasm, then coming is going to freak her out a little, and also she may have some problems coming during sex when you and her eventually get around to it.
I think it might be helpful for you both to have an open discussion about it, and see if she would be willing to learn to masturbate first. If she's reluctant to do this, then some sort of sexual counselling may be necessary.
The good part is that you can obviously make her orgasm through oral sex if you keep at it, and that's a really good start. Maybe next time, just keep going when she starts "no, no, no" - I mean talk to about it first and ask if you can just ignore it and continue.
Don't get disheartened, because I was very much like your girlfriend when I started, and I'm now extremely enthusiastic and orgasm really quickly and easily. So progress can be made.
2006-11-20 10:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Girl Machine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every girl is different. The best advice for anyone is not for force it. It'll come naturally. If she masturbates, then you should explore herself in what makes her feel good down there. Once she does, then the stimulation itself will soon bring her to an orgasm. During sex, guys rarely can find the right touch or go long enough to make it happen. The best advice for her is to find a position that gives her the same feeling down there as when she masturbate. I find being on top allows me to control how it feels when he's inside me. With a little experimenting she'll be able to orgasm rather easily. Hope it helps =)
2016-03-29 03:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she really doesn't want to have sex right now. You know as well as I, that in those heated situations, things are quite exciting. But it is something more than just the actuall event of having an orgasm. She isn't completely honest w/ her feelings. She might really want to wait and is afraid to tell you, because she doesn't want you to leave. Be patient. OH...and you have two hands.
2006-11-20 10:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by aes_bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe She was sexually abused. Not to the point of sex. but other stuff. That's what it sounds like. I was and that's how I acted. I was in the hospital and a lot of the kids there were too and they acted the same. If you want to ask her, do it gently...do not! do not! come at her with at as an accusation.
2006-11-20 10:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin's Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her dont be afraid its a level of sexual intercourse that's interchangable and she'll love and she'll want to feel it all the time, there's nohing to be afraid of. Let her know it's aprt of the sexual growing process in a serious relationship and that she'll dislike herself for waiting so long to do it.
2006-11-20 10:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might help her to see a psychologist. It really seems like something must have happened in her past to make her afraid like that. It may just be something her parents put into her head or maybe something she heard from friends as a kid. It's all just speculation until she seeks professional help.
2006-11-20 10:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her I said its the best feeling in the world, to sit back and relax and let the shakes and trembles come...she will love it if she would just relax....lol
2006-11-20 10:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, first id find out if theres is sumthin wrong w/ her physically and if shes cleared then next time she close dnt stop
2006-11-20 10:42:28 · answer #8 · answered by nickizzle4rizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should explain her that if she have a orgsm is a really lucky women , because they have an orgasm very hard...and after all it a pleasure, a big pleasure
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2006-11-20 10:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by c g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not ready she feels presured give her time, she'll come to you you'l see.
2006-11-20 10:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Claire R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋