Am I a bad mom????

Question

I have a 2 year old going on 3 next month, he is the love of my life and only child, but he is spoiled by grandma from my bf side of the family. There are times when he is so bad and dont listen I give him time out, there are other times when he tries hitting me and starts yelling as if someone is beating him, when he acts up i give him a spanking. is it wrong to spank him? why do i feel so bad when i disapline him???Help..,.

Answer 1

No your not bad a all. It is so important to establish discipline, especially at a young age.

If you need to give him a swat on the behind, that's OK. That is not child abuse. But the worst thing you can do for him and yourself is be afraid to be the "Mom". He does not rule the house, you do.

My Son went through that stage too, at almost the same age. They were trying times for both of us. He is now 3 1/2, and a much better listener and helper. I believe this is because I would not allow him to act that way.

Stay strong... be firm... and always remember to give lots and lots of kisses too...

Answer 2

At that age there learning there emotions that's why they call them terrible two's. I usually pop my kids on the hand it seems to work most of the time. No it is not wrong to spank your child. its just the shock of you spanking them that makes them cry. Be persistent in what ever you choice to do and let him know you are the parent or he will keep running over you. if he throws a fit keep an eye on him but ignore him he sees he's getting attention for acting like that he will keep doing it. the first child is always the worst being an only child and all they tend to be more selfish and spoiled. I have 4 myself. so just stay on him and don't let him get away with that sort of behavior and he will eventually get grow out of it.

Answer 3

I am not trying to be judgmental, but if you are questioning yourself over this then you probably deep down feel this is not healthy for your child. I know from experience that there are times when a child can drive you up the wall.... literally. The question you have to ask yourself is 'what does spanking resolve?'. The only thing it causes is a sore tush and bad feelings. I honestly don't feel you are a bad mother. Parenting is a learning experience....nobody is perfect. Really work with the time outs and like someone above me suggested taking favorite toys away. Also remember there is a difference between being stern and abusive. It is up to you to set your standards. Good luck and remember children don't always understand our actions. What you see as a simple spanking can be devastating in a child's world.

Answer 4

No, your not a bad mom, that's what your supposed to do when a 2 1/2 or 3 or whatever age they maybe do, your the mother, what you say should go, without any back talk. As long has your not beating the kid, I say do your job, parent the way that works for you, get it right now, and you want have to worry about visiting him in jail later.

Answer 5

Hmm...

I'm not 100% on this yet, because I'm still "with child", BUT ... I'd assume it's hard disciplining anyone that you remember being so precious at birth. However, that shouldn't stop you. Maybe you should research on different approaches to discipline, get a friends input, etc. Also, he's in his "2's" (I'll refrain from calling him terrible) and I believe it's normal for him to throw tantrums. Good luck either way. Soon enough I might be contemplating the same situation. :)

Answer 6

Well I used to believeion spanking, but took many parenting classes to find other alternatives. I foud my kids would fight with each other and hit, then I would get upset and spank and put them in their room. Well HELLO, I was teaching them it was okay to hit when upset, so I changed my ways, time outs, and asking them to tell me WHY they were on a time out made them think about thier actions. Remember things will get worse before they get better, but keep it up and you will get through it.

Answer 7

There is NOTHING wrong with spanking. Personally I think "time out" is usually fruitless. There are times when a good spanking is the only way to get your point across that certain behavior will not be tolerated. Just don't lose your cool when spanking. A good swat on the butt will get his attention and perhaps the only way you will ever be able to get his attention. It's natural to feel a bit bad when you have to spank your own child. Just keep in mind that you are doing it for his own good.

Answer 8

You sound like a caring, smart mother to me. And I appreciate your difficulty, but I have learnt this: You cannot teach a child not to hit, by hitting him.

I don't care if you decide to call it 'spanking,' it is connecting your hand with your child's body in a way that is designed to hurt and shock. That's hitting.

If spanking works so well, why do you have to keep doing it?

You don't teach children not to murder by murdering them, do you? How can you teach a child not to hit, by hitting them yourself?

Answer 9

You are not a bad mother at all. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and know what you are going through you tell the child one thing and grandma says the opposite.
I have spanked my children before and than afterword felt bad about it.
i even feel bad when i dint really play with them and stuff. I just think it is a moms thing to feel bad about discipline afterwords.

Answer 10

A quick swat to the behind can get his attention -- then tell him what he did wrong. If I told my kids I was disappointed in them, that was the worst thing for them! Kids want Mom and Dad to be proud of them, so if they know you are disapoointed, or sad with their actions, they will try to do better to regain your approval.

If he is hitting you, hold his hands and arms, and talk quietly, explaining why he shouldn't hit you. By talking quietly, he has to settle down to hear you. Works almost every time!

None of us wants a child that needs disciplined, but every child at some time does need that guidance. Discipline is one thing, but spanking, hitting, etc. is another. If you hit him, he will think it is okay to hit you. So try to pick your moments, walk away if you need a moment to gather yourself instead of hitting him. Violence breeds violence -- try hard to break that chain.