I would appreciate any opinions/strategies for assisting a young woman who needs lots and lots of positive reinforcement continually. How can I teach her to be self supporting rather than always looking to others for congratulation. (I really do mean she is excessive; draws attention to her positive acts over and over in order to be told again that she did well.)
2006-11-20 10:13:12 · 12 answers · asked by asiwant 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My advice is for you to take her to a Special Olympics event as a volunteer, or a volunteer for special needs children in your local community. Her need for constant encouragement and approval is rooted in a mind that is self-centered with a "me, me, me" complex. When she returns from the volunteer session, avoid answering questions that validate her actions as well done, but rather re-direct your response towards her continued involvement. In terms of time, several weeks of volunteering should be sufficient, but don't allow inconsistent participation. Be prepared to do the first few sessions with her, keeping her focused on those being helped, not on the ones doing the help!
2006-11-20 10:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by Damon T 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter? Mine is now 18 but still struggling with self image. Her mom deserted her when she was 5 and I have raised her on my own since then. Just keep on giving her your positive input and make sure she knows you love her. That's the best you can do. Even then, it may not always be enough. Believe me. I know. You might want to get her in to see a psychologist. Someone who can give her positive input from and outsiders view. Good luck to you.
2006-11-20 18:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by jare bare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Point out to her that you realize she is fishing for more compliments and that while she did a good job...she needs to move on to the next one. Don't be upset or anything. It's not that big of a deal, she just likes to have the good attention. Point out to her the reason that she did the thing also so that she learns to satisfy some of this need by being pleased with her own work.
2006-11-20 18:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My children are 23 and 17, the 17 year old is a girl. I always looked at my own accomplishments and offered that to her. I was not always good at everything. Grades were important but not necessarily what you have learned. I have always taught my children to be good people which they are. Girls always look for reasurance and praise no matter what they do. Encouragement is good but over appraisal is not. And reasurance when she does not do well at something. "thats ok, we all can't be good at everyting, but its ok you tried." example. My daughter took tennis lessons when she was 12 and 13, she so wanted to learn how to play. We took her and encouraged her to play. She did not make it out of beginners! I asked her one day if she liked it?
She said I love it! But, you know mom, I suck! But, do you like it?
Again she said yes. Ok, you are not good at tennis! You don't have to be the best at something to like it. She is now almost 18 and not afraid to try something new or different even if she is not good at something. I have taught her to reasure herself! I also have the same mind set. I taught them by example. Think before you react to a situation. Using the right words is important.
The only thing as I said is to hope they grow up to be good people. If you did that you did your job well.
2006-11-21 07:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With teenagers in general, just talking to us helps. She's very insecure and needs reassurance. Don't be annoyed, just go with it and praise her each time. As she gets older there will be a break. There isn't really much you can do otherwise, if you cease to praise her, she will fall, very far. Just let her grow up, it'll happen over time, just support her while she still talks to you. I'm glad you wonder how to help your daughter, and not just scream at her in agitation.
2006-11-20 18:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by who_is_audrey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am a 14 year old and i have practically no self esteem because i get As all the time in class, and my parents get mad if it is an -A. i hate how strict they are and how i never get complimented unless it is like over 100%...i wish they would tell me i am good at what i do once in a while...i guess they just assume i know it, and it sux. but they dont know they are bringing me down cuz i never tell them since i am afraid they will get mad. i would much rather they built me up like u r doing for your kid...so honestly if u want her to be happy and not contemplating suicide and cutting herself while u have no idea please try to stay as close as u can to her!! i am the kid that trys to do everything right and thinks they did but it is never good enough...so i get depressed and often want to kill myself because i think on one cares about me...but my parents think everything is fine. please dont do this to your girl...i dont want her to suffer inside like i do while no one knows because she tries to hide it form the world. some day she will leave the house with the man of her life and you wont have to deal with her anymore, so do your best to make the hardest years of her life as easy as you can and be gentle with her!!
2006-11-20 18:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by shea-shea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get her involved in activities such as karate or horse back riding. They raise self esteem as that sounds to be what she needs. There are other things out there of course but those 2 poped into my head as definite boosters.
2006-11-20 18:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by sarat0 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter?..I am 15. I think that ou should just remind her everyday what is going on and she will soon after get the picture. I was like that until my dad died I opened my eyes and realized.
2006-11-20 19:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie Rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
teach her to be more outgoing and to be a leader to change her out look about her self im sure she has a bubbly personality just show her how to be a leader for herself.
2006-11-20 18:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by kima 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use physical punishment. The old way works best.
2006-11-20 18:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by Ratzo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋