My man and I wants to get married, however he irritates me and I irritate him. We have both work very hard not to get on each other nerves. But it don't seem to work all the time. I love him very much and he asked me to marry him in june and we were suppose to get married in February, but I dont want to marry him yet because I feel we have a lot to work on before we take that step/ We have been knowing each other for 10 years, he was my first, and that didn't work out so we became the best of friends and I went away for a while for school and came back and we hit it off Big Time! really, everything was bigger and better if you get what i'm saying. so am i wrong for basically calling off the wedding because i feel like we have a lot of catchung up to do?
2006-11-20 10:11:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are right for wanting to wait. Don't get married just because it seems to be the thing to do. It is not as easy as that, it is hard work being married and even harder when you have problems to start with. Fix the problems if they are indeed problems or are they silly? is it nerves? pick your battles and figure out what you really want...really!
Do a like and dislike list....likes on the left and dislikes on the right for the both of you and talk about it..that helps.
2006-11-20 10:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Deborah D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you two expect for the marriage to work out if you "irritate" each other even now? If you think it's bad before marriage, it will get 1000 times worse as time goes by. Not only you're not wrong for calling off the wedding, it would be a foolish thing to do to proceed with it.
2006-11-20 18:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well that has to be your choice, are you doing it out of fear, or are you truly needing more time. My husband and I got married two years ago, about 5 months before he deployed to Iraq for a year, I was also pregnant. We argued all the time, from stress and more stress. We argued while he was deployed, but we were open, we recognized why we were fighting, we tried to stop it before it escalated and we moved on. When he got back, both of us were very different people, he had changed as had I, we had a lot of issues, but we went to marriage counseling and stopped it before we divorced. We are now so very happy, we are probably to tightest, most in love, happiest couple that I know. We were just open, honest and both worked very very hard. A relationship is the hardest thing you will ever embark on. both of you need to know, that it will never be perfect, you will have moments of bliss (breif moments) a few more of happiness, a lot of dissapointment and struggle, but tons of contentment and love. Just WORK very hard at it, and I suggest going to counseling, let him read this, and every other answer that is any good. Just talk, and dont' ever hold anything back. GOOD LUCK, I know it is hard, but it is so worth it.
2006-11-20 18:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't have to call off the whole wedding you could've put it on hold or even push the date back and that still would've given you time to work things out. And I don't think you're wrong for doing it either I'm sure you were doing what felt right at that moment. Good luck with everything!!!
2006-11-20 18:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. it sounds like you have some core differences if you irritate each other so much. If you love him and want to be with him, I suggest pre-marital counseling. Sounds kinda sappy I know, but it does work, as you can help iron out some of those differences and go into the marriage with your eyes wide open. That way neither one of you will have unrealistic expectations and then be crushed when those expectations aren't met. :) good luck to you.
2006-11-20 18:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arguments are perfectly normal, they never really stop thay just reduce in yelling and go down to heated discussions. But that's only if you both work at it. Marriage is work. it's not filing paperwork and boom your married and everything is perfect. Talk to nay couple that been married 20+ years, and they'll tell you, it's work and you both have to be willing to work at it or else the marriage will fail
2006-11-20 18:18:46 · answer #6 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are totally right. Marriage is such a huge step, you want to be sure. If you're not sure, postpone it and maybe seek premarital counseling. The premarital counseling can help you communicate, work out some differences, and decide if you really are right for each other.
2006-11-20 18:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your doing the right thing. It will only get worse if you guys dont take a step back and evaluate the situation. Just trying to ignore the little problems, will only make them far worse in the end
2006-11-20 18:18:28 · answer #8 · answered by mariah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. It's a good idea to work these things out before you get married. Seek marriage counsueling.
2006-11-20 18:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by Robert San 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know exactly what to do and should follow your heart. If you feel like you need more time, then take it. Just because you've known each other as friends for so long deosn't mean it's going to be easy as partners.
2006-11-20 18:18:27 · answer #10 · answered by yahoo_user1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋