My son is in 1st grade, and his teacher is constantly sending negative notes home. Help!!!?

Question

We have tried multiple conferences etc, and nothing seems to work. Since the 2nd week of school, she has been convinced that he has a hyperactivity disorder and suggested I have a Dr. see him and have him treated for ADHD. I don't beilive in this medicated way of drugging kids. It seems as if she is picking on my son since I refuse to have this done to make her life easier.
This child is an angel anywhere else but school. Any ideas???

Answer 1

If your son is fine out of school then he probably does not have ADHD that is something you just can't turn on and off. It sounds like he only has the problems at school, is there a way that you can have your child switched to another classroom, your son may not be compatible with the teacher, and the teacher doesn't seem to want to listen, she just wants him drugged. I don't think the majority of ADHD children should be drugged either. Good luck with your boy and Happy Thanksgiving

Answer 2

My best friends nephew was like this. All through kindergarten. Bad notes all the time. His parents were SO mad at the teacher. Then the first few weeks of 1st grade was ok then the notes. They just didn't get it. (Its a very small school) They found out the 1st and kinder teachers were cousins. So they thought it was just the same thing over. They sat in school and everything, he was great.

Then one day he punched a teacher aide in the nose. And all the stuff they were warned about was now making sense. He was SO great at home an very angelic and sweet.. They didnt know why he was like that at school. They still don't but since have had him transferred to a new class and he has a aide with him most of the day until next semester starts.

Answer 3

It is not just wanting willing participants. The thing that bothers me more than that is some kids will not be able to participate in a program on a week night after school hours for a variety of reasons....parents work schedule, etc. So an extra-curricular after school activity should not be allowed to have any reflection on their grade. And don't even get me started on the extra cost of a special tee shirt, optional or not. Tell all of the participating kids red, white or blue shirt (to match the USA music theme you mentioned), your choice. Then they can wear something they own already or buy a $2 tee at Walmart. If you are comfortable with the teacher, you can send a note requesting a time to discuss your feelings with the teacher first. At first attempting a friendly information gathering "chat" with the teacher might solve the problem without her feeling that she has been tattle on (and trust me she will take it out on your kid, however subtlely)Then if you are still not satified with the results, have a conference with the principal, with or without the teacher present.

Answer 4

I am a first grade teacher. First of all it is illegal for us to diagnose ADHD because we are not doctors. We are not allowed to say anything about medication,etc. She's in the wrong for that. Secondly, I have many ADHD students or those who I assume are, they do tend to cause more interruptions in class and they do get written up more often. These students tend to have an extremely bad temper and when corrected, act out more. I've been cursed, threatened and pushed. Many times it is hard to teach because these children are causing such a commotion. This isn't fair to the teacher who by law, has a right to teach in a safe environment. It also isn't fair to the other children who by law, have the right to learn. Yes medication would make her life easier...his behavior would improve, his grades may also improve and she would be able to teach instead of discipline all day. (Trust me, I'm not telling you to medicate him because I hate seeing children medicated...I can simply see things from her perspective.) You need to understand she's not picking on him, she is merely tired of constantly disciplining and wishes to do her job, which is teach. I've been in many situations: some in which the parents rush to get their children tested and medicated the second they get a behavior note to others who refuse to give the medication. I have seen children so dosed up they can't even function and I simply wished for the behavior problems again!! I've seen children who couldn't function without the medicine (couldn't hold a pencil, fix his belt, etc.) and I actually wished for the medicine because he was capable of so much more. I've even had parents sit in and observe...worst idea ever because of course your child will concentrate and be a perfect angel, until you leave. Then you think the teacher is lying. I actually had parents sneak to my window and watch their child when he/she didn't know they were there and got more accurate results of what went on. My advise, if the child is functioning well and grades are A/B's simply discuss with the teacher your right as a parent to not administer the medication. Ask her to be patient with him and you must be willing to be involved as well. Teamwork and consistency work best. Don't let ADHD be an excuse for behavior. If his grades are failing and he is extremely violent and uncooperative then you may want to consider having him tested. Think about how you would feel if your child's right to learn was being violated by a child that demanded so much attention from the teacher. I hope some of this helps, good luck.

Answer 5

Wish my daughter was here to answer this one. My grand-daughter, age 5 was bringing home of all things actual grades A-F instead of Satisfactory, Not Satisfactory etc. notes saying she wasn't paying attention, blah blah. She had her in private school. So my daughter goes up there, finds a very boring class room and a much boring teacher and suggested that she change her teaching methods by using smilly faces on their papers instead of letter grades and making learning fun for the students. She gave this teacher and the school two weeks to clean up their act and make learning fun or she would take her daughter out. Two weeks later my daughter took her out and put her in public school which she now loves and learns without stress being put on her. My suggestion would be as I did when I had children in school is if they don't get along then change teachers. Tell the school you want a different teacher and see if your son does better with a different teacher. I don't believe in medication either and if you don't see anything abnormal when he's away from school then I would think the problem is with the teacher.

Answer 6

ask to have a 3rd party sit in the class and observe-if they sense a problem the school should have a district specialist who tests for those disorders-a lot has to happen before meds-you may as well start the process so at least you can rule out ADHD if its not that at all-ignoring it won't make it go away.I'm sure the teacher is just frustrated because a disruptive child interferes with EVERYONE ELSE'S learning, not really fair to the other 19 kids? If you start the process you will eventually find out the problem and hopefully a solution so start now...

Answer 7

My sister is a teacher and she admitted that there are some teachers that would prefer kids like that to be medicated so that they dont disrupt the class. The thing is that your son may be one way at home and completely different at school. I would set up a meeting with the Teacher, Counselor, and Principal. Do your research about ADHD. There are ways to treat without meds if that is in fact what he has. Good Luck!

Answer 8

OMG!! you have to be kidding me, since when does it become a teachers business to diagnose childrens moods?!?! If YOU have any concerns, take him to your family doctor. But first and for most, let me tell you about my 7 year old nephew, also in grade one. He ended up with a teacher that has little patience for small children and has no right to be a teacher. (sounds like the teacher your son has). After almost 3 months of classes with her my sister in law put him in an alternate class and the child is excelling like crazy.. just remember, it's not ALWAYS the child, could just very well be the teacher. My nephew is VERY much the same, or was anyway. Was TERRIBLE in class and complete different child at home. Good luck ...

Answer 9

I would go with the testing and perhaps set up a few appointments with the school counselor or someone on your own. If he's a good boy everywhere else, something else must be going on in the classroom.

I've also done yoga and meditation with kids that young who are hyper and it helps immensely.

Last thing...I agree that too many kids are medicated. But don't completely shut the idea out. Maybe your son really does need it. It's not fair to the other kids in the classroom if your son is distracting them and the teacher has to spend too much of his/her time trying to keep a child in order. That's why having him evaluated is so important.

Answer 10

I agree to have your child observed by other school staff members, such as Child Study Team professionals. If you are there, of course he'll be on his best behavior. There are also independent Child Advocates that serve as a liaison between the family and the school to ensure that the child is being treated fairly, assessed accurately and educated properly.

You have to also recognize that these people work with many children, and have some sense of problems that parents may not be able to see. The demands of an academic environment are vastly different from the other settings where this child reportedly has no difficulties. He may have some other learning difficulties and acts out because of frustration, and the teacher is misinterpreting that behavior as hyperactivity.

I am an Audiologist and have evaluated many children over the years to determine whether they have hearing loss vs. attention difficulties vs. auditory processing disorders. Some of these children truly had hearing loss; some could hear, but their brains do not effectively process the speech sounds; some truly could not remain focused and either bounced off the walls (ADHD) or simply drifted off into daydreams (ADD); and a good number of them had behavioral problems, some from being neglected/abused and some from being spoiled/over-indulged.

While medication is not appropriate for many of the children for whom it has been prescribed, there are kids who truly can not focus, and it upsets and frustrates them because they genuinely want to. For them medication can be effective - but what works with one child doesn't always work with the next one. That is why it is best to take the child to a developmental specialist, rather than just talking to the pediatrician.

I have seen children whom I believed really needed medication, but whose parents refused. It was sad for me to think that they weren't even willing to give it a try to determine whether it would make a difference. The longer a learning disability (including ADD/ADHD) goes untreated, the greater the damage is to the child's academic progress and self-esteem. For your child's sake, please keep and open mind and seek out a comprehensive evaluation of his abilities.

I wish you both the best.