Why do some parents stand for mediocrity in their kids grades?

Question

I am a parent now and although school is years away I have been thinking about my own upbringing. When I was in school I had friends who’s parents thought would pay for their kids grades, like 20 for an A 10 for a B and 5 for C. I brought this idea to my father and he said he would think about it but C’s would get no money. C’s were average and we were more than that. As a matter of fact if we brought home a C we had no TV or Phone privileges during the week until that grade came up and if you still brought home a C even if in another subject TV was gone even on the weekends. It made me work hard and do my home work and I graduated with honors. Why don’t more parents let their kids know that C’s and bellow are not acceptable? It is not just enough to pass you need to excel. And just passing should not be rewarded.

math was allways hard for me even in college but it was just understood you had to get at least a B
I understand maybe not punishing them but why reward them for a C

can't you encourage the good points and prsserure for the harder classes

Answer 1

I think it depends on the child's efforts not the actual grade. My oldest brings home low A's and high B's but I find this to be unacceptable because he puts forth no effort. He doesn't try at all, which I can appreciate but shows poor work ethics. My middle one ranges from C's to low A's but he studies hard each night, asks for help when he finds he is having a hard time understanding something, and will research all types of stuff even if he doesn't need to know it. My youngest one brings home A's and B's but he too earns them. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of all my boys but it saddens me that my oldest is choosing to waste his natural talent while my youngest ones work hard to improve theirs.

I guess what I am trying to say, it's not necessarily the grades that count but the amount of effort the child puts into them.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with being average and should not set a high bar on a subject that will need more time to excel.

Passing should be rewarded as passing a hard class takes a lot of work and effort. A person can study their **** off, turn every paper in and work hours on term papers, just to get a C. That C means everything to them as it took a lot of effort to not receive a F or D in the class.

Don't forget that the grade is also determined by the teacher, not just the student's performance. I had a teacher who was outraged that I received a C on it for minor errors that she felt I deserved a B+, if not a low..but still an A.

I got some C's and I still made the honor system and a outstanding student.

Those who get A's and B's don't realize not everyone is "perfect".

Answer 3

Isn't possible to both realize exactly why you're asking these questions and simultaneously slate you? Nah, I'll give these a shot. 1. Why are kids "graduating" from the fourth grade? Because people are (for evolutionary reasons) obsessed with their children's progress, regardless of how small. 2. Why do we not have a sense of humor about ourselves? I do. I think it can only surface after you're done feeling more intelligent and pulled together than everyone else. 3. Why is little league televised? Again, because most parents are a little obsessed. On top of that, people are competetive. 4. Why is it so unpatriotic to question our government? Because it's beneficial to the government for it to be this way. Criticism actually seems to be rather commonplace these days. I'd be more unpopular if I walked into a room and said I love George Bush than if I proclaimed otherwise. For the geniuses who are telling you to leave if you don't like the United States: What if I had said the same thing to you during the time of slavery or some other horrible situation? The government is meant to be changed and kept in check when things come up, and the mindset that one should be kicked out or is somehow less of a citizen because she or he disagrees with the current policy is not only scary, it's the ultimate form of ignorance.

Answer 4

That's an interesting concept, but I think it really is based on a chain of events. Generally, the parents who accept the C were the ones whos parents accepted the C etc. While I don't have children, my parents taught me more that a C is a sign to work harder without going to punishment (Though an F was a different matter).

I don't know if punishing your children is really the best way to deal with it. I mean, on one hand, yes the child is going to work harder to get nothing but A's, but what does that really do for the child? I mean, I would much rather get an A on my paper because I wanted that A as opposed to trying to do it so I won't get in trouble. Maybe my time in college has changed my sensibility, but I think that it's more effective to impress upon the child the mediocrity of the C without making it seem like a bad thing. The last thing you would want is a child that has a knee-jerk reaction to getting a C, as that would be bad for self-esteem.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. This is quite an interesting question. If I could rate it, I would.

Answer 5

Let me just tell you how I do this and you can decide if it will help you. I am the mother of 6...(18yr girl, 2-16yr boys, 13 girl, 12 yr girl, and 9 month boy) We just went thru this with my 12 yr old daughter- the FIGHT I was not ready for. She made her first C ever, and I punished her from everything she had. Here is the problem...she threw a fit because the boys failed some classes and averaged a C, and out oldest girl stayed in the B average with a few C's, and the 2 youngest girls were straight A students. I rarely punished the oldest girl or the boys....but it was because I KNEW they were trying their best. They struggled hard to get the C's that they did recieve. The 2 youngest girls got A's with little to no effort. when my youngest got her C, it was because she started hanging around with a little girl who got her to act up in class and not pay attention. She got her first detention for talking in class, and had had a few zeros for not turning in assignments. NOT LIKE HER AT ALL. So, I have learned through the years, take each child, and treat them different, because they ARE different. The boys never got zeros for not turning in an assignment, they just got low scores because they could not get it. You have to look at the kids and deal with them on an indiviual level. I never understood how these books tell new parents to do this or that discipline, and have consistancy with it. I have been raising kids now for 18 years, and I have 6 DIFFERENT personalities, tempers, and grades going on. None of the kids are the same. I could not even have the same discipline for anything. Some of my kids are "heart children" that a talking to goes a long ways, and then I have some that I have to ground for a month from everything to get the same point across. I just look at that particular child I am dealing with at that moment, look at their past behaviors, look at the thing they just did, and then I set my punishment. I think I have done a pretty good job....I have 6 kids......never dealt with drugs, teen pregnancy, or school drop outs. I am not saying I am perfect either, I have made a ton of mistakes, but I just take my time, stay calm, and above all I listen an watch. Parenting is as hard as you make it. Society is trying to tell you how you should raise your children, and I do not agree with that at all. I think you should just look at your goals for your children and do what you want. There is no parenting book out there that knows YOUR child. You are the only one who knows him/her.

Answer 6

i get your general train of thoughts and i do tend to agree. HOWEVER EVERY child is different not every child has the ability to make A's and B's. My son is 10 1/2 he is in special education and speech classes he is autistic. He has a lot of trouble with reading. He dose GREAT in math. HE tries so hard to get A's and B's even with modified work he still might get a c in a subject that is very hard for him. All of his teacher say he works very hard to apply himself. I WOULD NEVER EVER make him feel bad over a poor grade or take away any privilege. He has enough issues without feeling he needs to be 100% at everything. My 8 1/2 year old i do expect more from even she is on medication and had ADHD. If your talking about kids with no other issues yes i agree parents should push them to achieve. MY KIDS are not your average bunch i make sure i help with homework i make sure i stay involved With school I DON'T PUT MUCH INTO ONE grade on one report card.

Answer 7

That's the reason for grade inflation right there. A C is no longer average because most parents insist their kids do better. And while I'd love to have my kids excel in school (and I think there is a good chance of that because I did) if nobody allows their kid to be average then average isn't average anymore- see what I mean? If every kid has to excel then excelling is just average. Personally I think there is more to life than grades and while I want my kids to do the best they can I'm not going to flip out about a C in a subject they're not doing well in. I'll try to help in whatever way I can, but I'm not going to make my kids overachieve. I think kids need time to play and just be kids and if all the kids have to do so much it leads to a lot of stress. That's one of the reasons so many kids are on anti-depressants these days. Frankly I don't think kids need that much pressure.

Grades do not measure worth. I know they help you get into college and get a good job and things like that, but it's not the only way to do it. My husband is a high school drop-out but he knows more than I do about almost everything, and I'm a college graduate (with a 3.5 GPA from a good private university). He also makes more money than I could with my degree. Schools aren't that great at figuring out who is smart and who isn't. My brother did lousy in school (Cs and Ds) and my mom (who was working on her PhD at the time) didn't flip out or anything. He started doing well once he could take classes he was interested in- photography and film. He ended up graduating from a well-known and very good university with a degree in film, moved to L.A. and started working in the film business. Now he has a job he actually likes.

I am also much more concerned about qualities like honesty, integrity, compassion, humility, love, kindness, etc, in my kids than I am about grades. Of course you can have both, but I recognize what is really important in life, and grades aren't it. That's why I would not flip out over a C or even an occasional D (I got one D in high school one semester and who even cares?) There is more to life than grades, and somebody has to be average. Assuming that your kids can't be the one to be average is just plain PRIDEFUL (and a quality I'd like to avoid in my kids and in myself).

Answer 8

Personally,I think learning should be intrinsic. That means the children should learn for learning's sake. They all do this from infancy until they enter grade school. Then suddenly the thrill of learning is gone and they have to be bribed. Bribing a child to get good grades is useless. The child will learn what they need to know to get the grade then they will forget most of what they learned. I don't believe in grades and I don't believe in paying a child to get good grades. I think tests are pointless and most tests are geared to make the answers easy to come by. The best way to see if a child is learning is to see them apply their knowledge to every day situations.

Answer 9

Because sometimes C's are the best people can do. Not everyone is going to get A's and B's on everything and expecting them to is only going to have negative effects.

What if you told your child their tv priveledges would be gone if they got a C and then your child went to school and tried his absolute hardest but got a C anyway? Why should he be punished for doing his best?

Answer 10

Sometimes, kids are just not academically talented to get above 'C', that doesn't mean they have to have education forced down them. It will noly remind them what a failure they are therfore leading to more problems (other than getting a good education) in later life.
My parents were strict with me an it worked out fine, however, I see with my brothers' it's the wrong route. Some children need encouragement.acceptance rather than pressure.