I am a very jealous person, and my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 15 months now, and we're both very possessive of eachother, but I find that I am more so....we do not allow eachother to hang out with the opposite sex and we pretty much only hang out together, and we're the only people eachother talk to on the phone....we're very much apart of eachother's lives....and i'm very happy with him....we have friends to talk to at school and stuff.....but i always get scared that eventually he's going to not want to be with me anymore and then what will i have left? he tells me he loves me all the time, and i love him too. we have our futures planned out and are very close with eachother's families. It's almost like I don't believe that I am good enough for him because i've made mistakes in the past. I'm just scared that eventually he will not want to be with me because we are so possessive. I also think that I just worry too much because we are both 100% happy with eachother.
2006-11-20 09:45:47 · 17 answers · asked by Italian Lady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The possessiveness you both feel is perfectly natural up to a point.
You have to realize that YOUR possessiveness comes from a lack of confidence in yourself. If you can ever relax and loosen your grip on him, then you will realize that he is with you because he loves you, just as you love him.
My fiance' and I are the same way. We are both very possessive of each other and get nervous if we feel there is someone else getting too close. What I finally had to do is "imagine" him leaving me for another woman. It was hard to do, however, when I did imagine it, he came up to me and held me in his arms and told me that he could never be interested in someone else because he loves only me and will for the rest of his life. After that I felt so much better and more confident about our future together.
He loves you now and always will. You just have to show him every day how much you care. Know in your heart that you are the only woman that he loves and he doesn't want to lose you either.
Just relax and take comfort in the knowledge that you are the only woman in the world who can make him feel the way you do.
God be with you both.
2006-11-20 10:17:50 · answer #1 · answered by KieKie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...no.... and if you are having doubts... then you are definitely NOT 100% happy in your relationship... now... you have already admitted there is a problem.... and if you really love this guy... you should start talking with him about how the two can fix it.... i think you two have a trust issue...(and some unspoken insecurities) ....that's NEVER good.... the two of you seem to really care about each other and have a pretty good outlook on what a relationship should be...spending time together.... doing things to make sure the two of you are comfortable and feel good about the relationship.... stating things that are NOT okay with each other and trying your best not to upset the other...but.... you two may be taking it to the extreme...and too much of anything is gonna get overwhelming...
GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-11-20 09:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by honey_coated_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy does not equate with love. It is also almost a certain recipe for unhappiness in a relationship because of the difficulty of proving the negative. He eventually will not be able to prove he's not doing something that will make you unhappy. Each party in a relationship needs to be able to breathe, to be themselves, to be whole and happy. Suffocation by one or the other is the likely outcome from your description. You're very likely in need of counseling.
2006-11-20 09:54:41 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Just let eachother have some breathing room. Keep hanging out with eachother, just instead of going by yourselves, go with a group of friends. Hopefully, that'll help. Good luck.
2006-11-20 09:51:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two are taking this way to far I mean I know what its like to be in a serious relationship because I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years but you have to be able to do things seperatly have your own friends opposite sex or not. Controlling each other and putting yourselves in a box is setting yourself up for failure because that shows you don't trust one another and that usually leads to cheaters or broken hearts.
2006-11-20 09:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by Waiting for Madelyn :) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too possessive, trust him, if he really loves you he won't cheat on you.My boyfriend is very possesive so I know what your bf is going through and you too.If you both love each other that much don't be afraid of him leaving everybody messes up.
2006-11-20 09:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by Dannylvr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy and possessiveness can eventually erode away at a relationship and cause it to fail. The most important thing you can have in a relationship is *trust*.
2006-11-20 09:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by Katasha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really should trust each other if your going to be together that long. So what happens when you get married and he finds someone new? If your not meant to be shouldn't you find that out now than later?
2006-11-20 09:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not mentally healthy to be exclusively you two. You need friends and see, at least on a social level, other people.
If you have mutually agreed tot his, fine, but I think you are missiong out on a lot of other things life has to offer
2006-11-20 10:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not ever.
Here's why...
>Put your hand in a bowl of water, make a TIGHT fist, pull your hand out, now open it.
>Now, put your hand back in the bowl, GENTLY cup your hand, lift slowly
>>>Which one allowed you to hold on to what you wanted?
I'm a victim of this very same parable. So...I know exactly what can happen.
2006-11-20 09:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋