My son can't have anyone else put him to sleep so i have not been able to leave his side for even a single day for 2 years. I can't have time to myself as he is very demanding. He was breastfed to sleep up to a year and later, it was rocking, singing and patting. And he has taken an obsession to my belly button. He needs to (its embarassing) put his finger there to fall asleep or soothe. It used to be feeling my tummy. I guessed all these is related to the closeness when you breastfeed. But my limit is up. I cant stand it anymore. Sometimes it gets so uncomfortable (my belly button) and NOBODY can help me put him to sleep! I need at least an hour in the dark with lullabye and my patience has just been used up. I just flared up with him and my husband (for not being able to help). He has NOT SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT AT ALL! Im tired. Please help. What can i do???? How do those kids progress to going lying in bed, you say goodnight and just leave him there and they sleep???
2006-11-20 09:31:12 · 11 answers · asked by fantacia 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It's definitely tougher to get a toddler to sleep on their own, once they've established a habit of needing you present to go to sleep.
Put a bandaid on your belly button and tell him you have an "ouchie". I nursed my son to sleep and subsequently lay down with him to get him to sleep and WOW, what a mistake! We now let him pick two books, sing four little songs and off to bed.
He'll cry like you can't imagine, come back in and reassure him (without picking him up) and gradually increase the time in between. I'm sure you've read all kinds of advice similar to this on getting a toddler to sleep on their own. Rest assured, it WILL work. For us it was a week of absolute hell, but on about day 6 he changed his mind and climbed into bed without a peep.
Good luck - I've been there and it's tough!
2006-11-20 09:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by eli_star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're on the right track. KEEP GOING!!!
You have to break him of this behavior and it's almost always a case of "the sooner the better."
Try to keep him calm, get help from your husband. You said "NOBODY can help me put him to sleep!" Don't paint yourself into that corner. Trust me, when a two-year old is tired enough, he will sleep. Whether you or your husband is there.
Establish a bedtime routine that you can all enjoy. Read a book, take a bath, say your prayers. Whatever you want. Alternate with your husband, and BE CONSISTENT.
PS - my son is three. Bedtime is not a welcome occurrence in his little world, but bedtime means B-E-D. Mom and Dad just put him back if he gets up. Eventually he gets the message. But he is THREE and that means occasionally testing the boundaries. The only ones where they go lay down read a book and kiss good night are the ones in the fairy tales.
2006-11-20 10:14:09 · answer #2 · answered by KayBee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lets see show him where his own belly button is try giving him a blanket or a stuffed animal even a doll to take comfort in. I put on lullabye music or find classical tunes on the radio. sleep you lack 1st shorting his nap time might help. then I would have a talk about night time and sleep start a schedule for bed time snack, bath snuggle time with mommy reading a book then daddy puts him to bed with one more story. have daddy stay untill he falls asleep. after a week or so when last story read kiss hug leave. crying give couple minutes and go in for a minute then leave again. breastfeed babies isn't the reason each kid is diffrent. my 2nd child always slept in her room until about age 6 now she wants us all the time. and out of my 4 kids the baby sleeps with me poor dad is on the couch. the way i look @ it is everyone is sleeping. good luck
2006-11-20 10:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by NDmom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try adding some music..soft . put in a nightlight.
Get into a bedtime routine.
Say night time prayers and give hugs and kisses, then leave the room.
Do not run every time that you hear him, i know how hard it is, but you have to do this for you and for him. Only go in every 20 minutes. It may be tireing at first but I promise it will payoff in the long run. My son did the same thing and I was just worn out...It took us about a month, but he is finially sleeping. Good luck and I hope that this helps.
2006-11-20 09:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sheila M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just like you weened him off the breast, he has to be weened off of you. It will mean a lot of crying, but in time it will end. You can't stay attached to him for the rest of his life, you have to nip this in the bud now. It has already gotten wayyyy out of hand. Develop a system, and stick to it each and evevry night. Kids must have a routine so they can know on some level what to expect since they are not in charge. After dinner, give him a warm bath, read him a story and tell him good night. Give him a nightlight and a lovey (stuffed animal, baby, whatever), whatever is necessary but you have to get some space. He is going through seperation anxiety but it's gotten to a point that is unhealthy for BOTH of you. As for the belly button thing, yu simply say no to him. Tell him that it makes mommy uncomfortable and redirect his attention. Stick with it. Consistency is key. Good luck. And remember, you are the parent and you are the one who is running the show. Not him.
2006-11-20 09:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can completely relate to what you are saying!!
As you can see, I have given you some links to Dr. Sears website...he always says, "if you resent it, change it!" He also discusses how dad can help.
There is no one solution that works for all children. What I did when I needed to make some sleep habit changes was listen to other moms, read a lot of the stuff on the Dr. Sears website, (there's a forum for moms & sleep issues) and then just tried different things with my child to see what worked best. I had to adjust some things here and there, but I feel good about how we made changes, I'm happy, baby's happy and the dad is happy. It does take time but it's well worth it!!
Good luck!! I am sure you will find the right solution for you and your family.
2006-11-20 12:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to just force it by which i mean give him no other choice than to have someone else get him to bed. Have someone else that is ready for a challenge and that has patience of steel then explain to your child that you are leaving and that other person is going to get him to sleep, then you need to kiss him tell him you love him sleep good and then just leave. It will hurt you to know he is crying and or throwing a fit but you need this and he does too. He needs to know that you can't be there every minute and to do everything for him.. He has to learn limits and that you love him and wouldn' t do anything that would actually hurt him.
You need to keep doing this every other night or so until he gets use to it. He might not go to sleep for a while but he will eventually. He will be exhausted and need to sleep and pass out from exhaustion.
Be a good parent like it sounds like you are and set those limits and follow through. Do not give up it is good for him and you. You need your rest and sanity. Take a break you deserve it. It will be harder for you than him.
good luck
2006-11-20 09:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Tami S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thanks for asking this question. I am going through the same thing with my 20 month old. I created the "monster" of rocking him to sleep at night.(My son is not the monster, the rocking part is) It felt so sweet when he was a baby!! Now I rock him every night for at least 45 minutes. I love it still, but I am just as frustrated as you!! We just went out and bought him his own special pillow to go to sleep on. So far it has been a loud battle, but I think he is starting to understand that he needs to do this on his own. I am buying the Dr. Sears book today as well. It can only help, right? Good luck to the both of us!!
2006-11-21 01:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by Terrie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Son is two on the thirtieth June and he infrequently sleeps each and every of how in direction of the nighttime. he's in his very own room in a toddler mattress and is going to mattress the comparable time very nighttime between 7pm and 8pm yet rarely ever sleeps all nighttime in spite of the undeniable fact that we've tried some issues we discover artwork. earlier mattress I supply him a bottle of warmth milk with a small teaspoon of honey in and a biscuit for supper. i alter him immediantly earlier putting him in mattress and we've a lamp on the landing outdoors his room which maintains to be on all nighttime. He has a dummy and a blanket for mattress, those are his comforters and we placed a disney movie on once I even have settled him down. each and every so often if he's no longer too drained I study him a tale earlier the movie yet he is going to sleep with a movie on as this enables him to nod off. because of the fact falling into this recurring he looks to have settled plenty greater proper and could in effortless terms awaken as quickly as possibly two times for his dummy. One I supply him this he genrally is going at cutting-edge back to sleep. proscribing the kind of e numbers he has throughout the day additionally enables and likewise attempting to no longer permit him nap for too long. unsure if any of that's appropriate on your problem yet hopefully it relatively is of use to you.
2016-12-28 07:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you started him on this, and it's going to be hard to break him now.. But my suggestion to you is to let him cry it out..... It's probably going to be hard for him to understand since you've let him be a baby for way too long, but just be consistent and make him stay in his room.. Good luck to you
2006-11-20 09:38:46 · answer #10 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋