Diagnose me... am i mental? if so in what way?

Question

of course your not a doctor, of course i should ask one

i really want to hear your opinions on what you think is wrong with me. please don't cut and paste from websites, i want to hear you OPINION.
i've been told it's depression by one doc and ADD by another because of ADD symptoms going back to childhood

42/male married with 2 daughters

my LIFELONG habits-

-hard time waking up
-hard time starting or finishing projects although i am well compensated.
-dilly dally all day looking at websites when i can be working
-generally unmotivated to do anything from simple chores to going out

past 2 years-

-mother died (father died long ago)
-best friend died
-lost a great paying job (lack of attention, not talent)
-bought a house that is the money pit
-had a vasectomy that didn't work
-second vasectomy did

also, one of my daughters is disabled with a tumor based disease and i have seizure's due to a bike accident when i was younger.

so... what's wrong with me?

who said i felt sorry for myself? i have a wife and 3 girls that love me, and despite my lack of motivation i do quite well. if it was as simple as "just getting up and doing something" i would do it. sheesh, read the question. i've seen doctors and they give me differing views.

oops, wife and 2 girls...

Answer 1

My personal opinion is that you are in avoidance behavior mode. You would rather not deal and avoid the problems rather than facing them and dealing with them. I do not think this is due to a disease. I think it is due to your lack of knowledge of coping techniques. You need to learn a decision-making technique. You avoid the problems and don't want to deal with them not because you are a weak person. You are doing it because you do not have the skills of how to make a decision and act upon it. In order to start a project or finish it, you need to go through a certain decision-making process. If you do not have the skills for this process, you will always have difficulties with starting and finishing things, or making solid decisions concerning money or relationships. At the time when you are waking up your consciousness tells you that the new day has began and you will be faced with new decisions to make. Your avoidance mode turns on automatically, and you would rather not to get up. When you are at work, you are required to make a decision every minute (like "I will do this first, and then move to that step, then follow up on that thing, etc); you do not have the skills for such continual decision-making process, that makes you unable to function in the work environment. Probably, at the time when you were growing up, your parents were making all the major decisions for you and were providing you with everything. So you didn't have the opportunity to acquire the necessary skills of how to function on your own. Of course you do not have the motivation. How in the world you can have it, if you simply do not know how the process works.
I think your life will improve significantly if you learn the decision making skills.
I have heard many people with OCD have difficulties with the decision making. Naturally, these people are perfectionists; they have very high standards for themselves, and would rather not start work on a project at all than complete it imperfectly (avoidance behavior).
Anyway, that was my opinion/

Answer 2

You've definitely had a lot of recent traumatizing events that could have triggered the depression. And, often ADD, OCD, depression and bipolar all intermingle with each other, so if you did have ADD in your childhood, it's possible you might be "prone" to mood disorders.

As far as lack of motivation at work, are you doing something you like? That can make a HUGE impact on your work performance. Of course, if you're in a job that you're not that fond of, I know it's hard to just pick up and start a new career with a family that's counting on you.

Chronic fatigue, lack of motivation and losing interest into things you once enjoyed doing are classic signs of depression. Because some of the symptoms of depression can be mistaken for just being stressed out, etc., it's sometimes hard to tell what's really going on.

Seizures can also affect the balance of chemicals in the brain. I suggest going to the doctor (as you know) and telling him or her what's been going on.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Okay...you have had a rough life, about like us all. You need a complete physical exam to rule out any underlying physical causes.

Since you identify yourself as unmotivated, I have to rule out ADD, yet your symptoms do not follow typical depressive symptoms either and you seem not to feel depressed. Perhaps dysthymia.

Or maybe you are just a normal guy.

Answer 4

You're not mental. You might have adult ADD, which is almost the same thing as the Children's ADD. You may have this disorder if you have trouble with organization, trouble concentrating, trouble remembering dates, Procrastination on any given projects or things to do, restlessness, and trouble finishing projects. I would see a doctor to verify this disorder and start you on a treatment.

Answer 5

I am not a specialist,but yes you might have A.D.D,but reading what you have experienced the past few years,seems to me that you may also be suffering from a bit of depression as well.I hope that you find out what is making you feel this way real soon.best of luck to you,and take care.

Answer 6

You need the Good Lord in your life to guide you and direct you..and motivate you and give you some hope...with His great kindness, and love, and through His Son, Jesus,...you will find meaning in your life, and even though your wife and girls should be enough...you are going to find just how much more fulfilled you will be when you live for for the Lord and for Jesus.

Answer 7

Sounds like you are depressed and feel sorry for yourself. No one is going to do anyting for you. You need to do it yourself. Motivation comes from within. No one can put a label on it. You choose to sit around. Get up and do something.

Answer 8

If these are "lifelong" habits, then it would appear that you are depressed and should be on medication to supply the serotin your brain needs in order to be chemically balanced.

Answer 9

it sounds like you are depressed and lack motivation. you seem to have lost your will to enjoy life - i suggest going to see a psychiatrist who may put u on medication to help and also will help to talk through your issues..

Answer 10

you are actually normal, i am like this also, you just have too much going on in your life and are highly strung out, just try and relax more, prefferably with a book in a nice hot bath, it works for me, good luck!