that I want some privacy? We're both 19 years old, but the only thing is that I'm in a serious relationship right now. Mum has her to chaperone us. In the beginning, I felt comfortable 'cause I was new to dating after a while, but now, I want my space from her. Yeah, we (my boyfriend and I) may want to become sexually active, but that's none of her business. She don't need to be in every aspect of my life, ya know? It's bad enough that I live with 2 uncles, my grandparents, and my mother and father. I don't need her breathin' down my back, too. I never get any privacy or anything. I've tried talkin' to her about it, but she gets all huffy and puffy about it and blows off on me. I talk to her in a very calm and rational manner, but her on the other hand, gets way out of proportion. Usually, it's the the other way around. So, how do I go about tellin' her that I want privacy with my boyfriend and gettin' her to let me have privacy with my boyfriend?
2006-11-20 08:58:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't want the whole "move out" scenario...
2006-11-20 09:14:41 · update #1
She also is required by my parents to go with me.
2006-11-20 09:15:37 · update #2
I myself have an identical twin sister (though we are 20 years older than you). My sister would only gets huffy with me when she felt that she is doing what she is supposed to be doing and still people are complaining. I can understand that - she loves you and this kind of a change can be a bit difficult.
My first thought is to get a 4th to join your outings - a great guy for her! If she is occupied with someone else, not only will she leave you alone, but she will start to understand why you want to be alone - if you know what I am saying.
She just might be upset because she doesn't know what to be doing while you are alone with your young man - she's just supposed to hang out on the doorstep for an hour while she supposed to be charperoning and can't go home? Maybe you can all meet at a coffee shop and you and your boyfriend treat her to a snack and a book while she waits for you to do your thing.
I would also consider telling her how you and your guy really enjoy the time you spend with her, but you would like to have some alone time too - is there anyway that you can get just 1/2 hour on your own on these dates - maybe you all go to the mall and arrange with her that you 2 sneak off while she is shopping for a short time.
It's a difficult situation - but you are lucky that she is cooperating with you. I can't tell you how many times I have heard these Sister chaperone stories where feelings are really hurt or one of the sister's is compromised. Be kind to her and she will be kind to you - she is already trying to help by chaperoning.
Peace!
2006-11-20 09:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think you appreciate why your parents are requiring her to go with you? Perhaps you should ask your parents what is behind their requirements. I strongly suspect it is because they love you, and wish to protect you from making some very serious mistakes that can scar a lifetime.
Teen Pregnancy :
- Mothers Too Soon
- A Global Tragedy
- Facing the Challenges of Teen Motherhood
- Help and Protection for Young Ones
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/8/article_01.htm
"As a ship’s captain seeks the advice of an experienced pilot, young people should seek their parents’ guidance."
Youths---Let Your Parents Help You Guard Your Heart!
- Why Obey Your Parents?
- Attraction to the Opposite Sex
- The Persuasive Power of Your Peers
- Worthy of Honor
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2004/10/15/article_01.htm
(These URL will likely be changed soon. After that, the Advanced Search at http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.ht... will find the new URL. Just enter the title or sub-title, & search.)
2006-11-20 18:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a hard situation. I know how you feel as I am also an identical twin sister. We had the same issues when we started dating.
Be honest and upfront with her about your privacy issues. Try not to hurt her feelings. Make sure you spend equal amount of time with her. Make a point of going out with just her too. She is probably hurt that you are separating. She will be less "huffy and puffy" if she understands that she is not losing her sister to her new boyfriend.
Good luck :)
2006-11-20 17:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by G&E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By coming right out and saying it. Tell her you need some privacy with your boyfriend.
2006-11-20 17:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could move out on your own then she wouldnt be all up on you all the time. If it is privacy you want then do something about it and go get it.
2006-11-20 17:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just doing what's she's been told by your parents, right? So by asking her for some privacy, you're asking her to go against your parents wishes?
I'd work on your parents first, not your sister. They sound a bit overprotective. (Mine were the same, so I know how you feel, I just didn't have a pesky sister bugging me!)
2006-11-20 20:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if b/f has a friend to hook her up with or you find someone for her. Also kissing your b/f in front of her might make her a little uncomfortable and she may give you some space. Good luck.
2006-11-20 17:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help get her a b/f and then you'll get all the privacy you need and want!
2006-11-20 17:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by Manny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 19 years old, just tell her you appreciate her going in the beginning but now you feel safe and she is no longer welcome on your dates. Tell her she needs to get her own life and stop living through yours. She might get mad but she'll get over it.
2006-11-20 17:02:21 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and move out. Then you can set the terms for who you see.
2006-11-20 17:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋