My sons father broke up with me when i told him i was pregnant. We kept talking until the baby with false promises until the baby was 2 days old. i have not heard from him since. I made several attempts to contact him for the next few months. The father is not on the birth certificate because he would have had to be present at the hospital on that day. I have been going at this alone for 3 years now. im a 23 year old law student with childcare bills that are 600 a month, i make too much money for help but not enough to keep us afloat. Everyone keeps telling me i should get him for support. But is it worth the risk of having that worthless excuse for a man have influence over my son? Of course i am in new jersey now and my sons father is in california.
2006-11-20 08:48:38 · 35 answers · asked by trikkikitty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Child Support and Visitation have NO legal connection...
You should always file for support from the non-custodual parent. As a legal student you should know this
2006-11-20 08:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Rum_Punch_Girlie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should go after him for child support, he helped make the baby and he should help pay for it's expenses. If your so far apart I doubt you'd have to worry about him wanting any say in it's life, but if he does you can always ask the courts (as you should know being a law student) to take his privileges away considering he has had nothing to do with the child for so many tears. Just because that's done doesn't mean you aren't entitled to support. My daughter did it and he is still ordered to pay every month, but can not contact the child or my daughter unless he wants to go to jail for disobeying a court order. In some states if you haven't paid child support for 12 out of 14 months you automatically lose all parental rights.
2006-11-20 08:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. You should. The child is as much his responsiblity as it is yours. You need to go for it for the child's sake. It will be a hard road, but you will feel better about it in the end. A lot of times the local Department of Family and Children Services will do most of the work for you! You can get child support from him that will go through the goverment where neither one of you have to talk to each other. Also, just because he is paying child support does NOT always mean that he has visitation rights.
2006-11-20 08:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Donkey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this young man will later in life will have remorse feelings about what he did, what he didn't do, what he should have done and so forth. But, he will more than likely never admit to it. Yes, you seek financial support, you probably won't see any, unfortuantely. It is definately his loss, and not having his name on the birth cert is his way of having complete washing off of hands. Good luck and best wishes to you and your son. I wasn't aware that the father had to be present to be on the birth certificate?
2006-11-20 10:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should have let you put the father's name on the B cert. no matter what....that may prove to be a problem. You should do it just for the simple fact that as a single mother you are eligible for a lot of public assistance programs which you may someday want to take advantage of and you are required to seek child support legally first in order to be receive that kind of help-most programs require that. It doesn't sound like the father wants any kind of physical relationship with the child so I don't think it will result in any custody questions, they will just garnish his paycheck send it to you and he can continue to rot in hell (or California)
2006-11-20 08:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would seek out child support from this man. The biggest influence in your son's life is you, I would not talk about the father to the son as far as how sorry he is and so on, the child in time will figure this out on his own. Good luck.
2006-11-20 08:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
#1: When people have a child, regardless of how much money the primary parent makes, each parent should have a financial responsibility to their child PERIOD.
#2: Even if he doesn't pay by law he will always owe you and that child the money. Believe me they will garnish his wages. I've seen it happen toomany times.
I am a very strong headed, independent woman who doesn't need much from a male. That's the attitude I use to have. I don't need support, I can do it on my own thing.. NOW I realize that it's not about him or me. It's about RESPONSIBILITY, and the CHILD. He need to be equally, financially responsible for that child. IF you don't need the money then put it in the bank for when your child is 18. Then they can use it for a car, school etc..
Your answer is YES.
2006-11-20 08:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Maryjane 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Absolutely, He helped make your little boy, he should help support him. Go to court and check it out. You might have to do a blood test to prove that your little boy is his, chances are he might deny him, it is in your best interest and your little ones. Regardless, he is your sons father and this might give him some rights to see him. Their are ways to fight that.
2006-11-20 09:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a lawyer, I can tell you that your decision to ask for or not ask for child support has no relation to the father's legal right to a relationship with his child.
Your child deserves as good an upbringing as you can provide and your ex has an obligation to help. He may require a paternity test, but don't let that stop you.
2006-11-20 08:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by Catherine B 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately there are a lot of males in the world that have to be "forced" into being a man. You have an obligation to yourself, your child and yes, to the scum you once dated to make sure that he lives up to his responsibilities. I would bet he pays and never takes advantage of his rights as a father.
2006-11-20 08:52:37 · answer #10 · answered by shifty67 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋