My boyfriend & I have been 2gether for 7 months. He's a great boyfriend but for the first 2 months I was distant due to lack of interest in a relationship. During that time I SLEPT with a friend of ours that moved to Florida right after, and I told him about it 3 months later after we got serious. I felt bad for what I did & we worked it out.We were fine until i found out this weekend that during the first 2 months he was SLEEPING with the girl that braided his hair! I ceased communication with the guy friend even though he didn't ask me to, I thought it was right. He won't do the same for me.His argument is that the girl is in Memphis, she's harmless, and she didn't do anything but fill what I wasn't doing for him at the time. WHAT am I supposed to do????
2006-11-20 08:34:38 · 11 answers · asked by Cathy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow...First off TALK to him...don't yell, don't cry, don't threaten his "manhood" with garden shears. Explain how you feel, and how it makes you feel that he is still in contact with this woman who he was having sex with WHILE he was dating you. You might possibly work into the conversation how he would feel if the situations were reversed and YOU were still in contact with YOUR "other guy" or even an ex boyfriend from ages past.
If he is unable or unwilling to see your point than unfortunately kitten you should move on. You've admitted your mistake and you ceased communications with "other guy". Cool...both very big steps to keeping a relationship with the current guy...HE however apparantly didn't bother telling you he was or had been sleeping with another girl and is STILL in contact with her? (You should be hearing warning bells, whistles and klaxons right about now...) Either his refusal to cut ties with this girl is him "asserting his dominance" (he wears the pants in the relationship...NOT you!) or he's keeping her on the side...he might not be sleeping with her NOW, but what's the point of staying friends with someone who he apparantly only used for sex? (You should also take a good hard look at his casual dismissal of this girl as a sexual replacement for you AND the fact that even when/after you came clean he STILL didn't say anything...this is wildly shady.)
2006-11-20 08:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. It would be different if he had been honest with you when you were with him but he hid it. I wouldn't want my man to have contact with her either and if he did i would leave and find myself a man that won't care about any other girl except me and not cheat or sleep around when we have problems. give him an altamatum and if he chooses to stay talking to her than you know where you stand in the relationship and where the other chick does and you don't want to be with anyone that would choose another girl (as a friend or not) over the women he suposably cares for and maybe loves.
If he doesn't get rid of her you get rid of him.
good luck
2006-11-20 16:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tami S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't exactly be mad at your bf for doing pretty much exactly what you did. Yes, he's still talks to her,but if you feel that he's still seeing her, then break up with him!! I mean, you have to have trust for a relationship to work, if you don't feel like you can trust him, then what's the point of staying with him. Think about it.
Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-11-20 16:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Amber R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Karma
2006-11-20 16:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by poisonette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get rid of him. His explanation for why he did it is B@llsh*t. You do not need that from any guy. If he can't take you as you are move on their are really men out there who don't always think with their little head and will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
2006-11-20 16:39:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. SORRY. IF SHE IS NOT AROUND THEN I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE BUT AS LONG AS MEMPHIS IS FAR AWAY I WOULD TRY TO LET IT GO. IF HE IS A GREAT BOYFRIEND LIKE YOU SAY HE IS THEN HE WOULDN'T CHEAT ON YOU. YOU CAN'T REALLY GET MAD AT HIM FOR DOING THE EXACT THING YOU DID.
2006-11-20 16:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the guy! that is just crazy!! obviously he doesnt care about the relationship and only about the sex. you dont need that and you dont deserve him. yea you did something wrong and so did he but the difference is you tried to make it right. you dont need the stress of this and it will only continue.. get out while you can before it gets too serious and you get stuck in something you dont want to be in.
--Good Luck!--
2006-11-20 16:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by xkie07x 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it was ruined from the get-go when you cheated. So you should just end something now that shoulda ended earlier. DUHRRR!
2006-11-20 16:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well being as how u slept wit someone else i don't kno if u can really knock him for it....but if it bothers u maybe u should both move one...cuz it's neva going to leave ur mind....
2006-11-20 16:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by Sha! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah karma...you werent honsest with him, he wasnt honest with you
trust is the foundation for any realtions, you need to move on
2006-11-20 16:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋