My sister has bulimia and OCD. She steals money from my purse, I don't want to be mean but what should i do?

Question

She is very ill and I realize this, but I really cannot leave money around her or she takes it. When I ask her about whether or not she's seen it she always pretends to go look for it and magically it shows up. I feel guilty, but I resent her for ever taking it in the first place. Most of the time I get it back, but it still hurts that she would do it in the first place. I recently was taking care of her when she got her wisdom teeth removed. I took a day off work and stayed with her all day, before we got to the dentist she stole $5.00 from my purse. I asked her if it fell out in her car (even though I knew she had taken it) and she went out to the car to check and she came up with a $5 bill. It hurt that I had gone to the trouble to commit to taking care of her and she would steal. Am I over reacting and should just forget about ir, or should i be more active in nipping the problem in the butt. My mom says I should just be nice and pretend like it isn't happening.

Answer 1

"Be nice and pretend it's not happening" is never a good idea. This is denial and it helps keep your sister sick.

You've been very patient with her and I commend you. I hope that she is getting mental health care in addition to medical care. If she's not, she really needs it. Suggest it to your mom.

You can try telling your sister what you just told us - how it makes you feel. Don't accuse her or lecture her - just let her know how it makes you feel. Tell her that even if she steals from you, you'd rather she be honest with you about it (maybe she has kleptomania as well).

This is a complicated problem - it might not hurt for YOU to have a counselor or someone to talk to about it, too. I'm not sure what the solution is, but I do know what the solution ISN'T, and that's to smile, be nice, and hide your hurt. That's not only going to keep her sick, but it will, in time, make YOU sick as well. Anyone who lived in a home with mental illness, addiction, dysfunction, etc. will probably tell you that the denial and pretending were as bad as the problem itself.

Good luck.

Answer 2

If you ignore the problem, then it will not go away and become worse. Start taking your purse with you everywhere you go. If you go to the bathroom, take it with you. Maybe she will see you doing this and ask why. Then you can tell her. If she has all these problems, is she seeking help for any of them? Or is it your mom's choice to turn her head from these problems? She needs help, and pronto! I know she has problems, but you need to be honest with her, do not walk around on eggshells for her. She needs to realize what she is doing. Being nice to her isn't teaching her anything...hasn't worked so far. You can help her, but don't let her problems weigh you down. Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Don't feed the problem. If she steals money confront her about it BUT only if you actually see her stealing it. Then, and only then, confront her in a stern but neutral voice and explain to her how you know that she took it, etc etc. It would be a horrible thing to accuse her of stealing it and by some chance she didn't.

Answer 4

If ever want her to get along in the world, you need to make her face the consequences of her actions. Her condition certainly is contributing to some degree to her misbehaviour, BUT it doesn't excuse it!

Answer 5

bulimia and OCD are diseases which have absolutely nothing to do with steeling so that should not be used as an excuse for her doing that. you need to first be absolutely positive that she really is steeling your things, then you need to confront her or it will never stop. her disease is NOT causing her to do that and does NOT make it ok.

Answer 6

call your dad!!!