Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?
I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.
In the '60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
There is a theory stating that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. Another theory states that this has already happened.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and they say, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of whom came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
2006-11-20 08:11:40 · 12 answers · asked by Woody 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I was dying laughing the WHOLE TIME!!!!
That was hilarious!
2006-11-20 08:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by smile♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely have definitely concept approximately that, and each so often I ask myself: Am I living in a dream? that's frightening nevertheless, simply by fact diverse good issues have passed off to me and that i could hate for it to be a dream! as quickly as I dream, I definitely have such diverse diverse objectives that in the event that they have been my parallel life i could be taking over such diverse distinctive types and absurd circumstances could ensue that make no experience to me. yet whats up, it ought to ensue, so I shop that concept open. i've got concept that if this exchange right into a dream, while will I awaken? Will I be a similar individual that I definitely have created in my dream? Will I definitely have a similar characteristics or have I only created somebody in this dream that's so unique and distinctive? as quickly as I consult with somebody in this dream, do they say what i elect them to declare? I understand what you recommend! i exchange into thinking that some people ought to interpret colorings in a distinctive way. Like, one individual sees something as yellow and is taught that that's yellow, yet yet somebody else sees it as green yet is taught that that's yellow (sorry if that's not clever haha)
2016-10-22 10:43:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny and clever
2006-11-20 10:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of these are funny as hell, and most of them are true. Nice.
2006-11-20 08:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by Inferno13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow how true and funny thx woody
2006-11-21 08:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by burnt bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
worth every second to read these
thx
2006-11-20 08:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by whacky doodler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so funny because it is real/true!!! Good one!
2006-11-20 08:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are very clever and funny!!
2006-11-20 08:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by hurley_gurl_10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for making me smile Woody...I liked some of them, especially the one about the weather :)
2006-11-20 15:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...too true!
i especially liike the recipe one...
2006-11-20 08:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋