I've had the idea for this in my head for a week. I finally tried to write it, and I couldn't find the words I wanted to express the thought. What do you think of it?
I feel as though the idea deserves a better expression. Suggestions? Improvements?
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It took a snow child,
to free my heart from the cold.
To rouse my curiosity,
and lure me from the icy tomb I'd resigned to call home.
Her eyes glowed with possibility,
something less ordinary,
something genuine.
A sweet blue girl weeping gently into her pillow,
locking the door to her own prison,
but so wanting to be free.
It might take a better man to ease her fears,
to coax the girl out as she did my soul.
Perhaps one day my best efforts will be seen,
but for now, my snow child,
leaves me in the cold.
2006-11-20 07:54:00 · 10 answers · asked by Offended? Aww Have a Cookie! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're somewhat off...
But the person who's really supposed to understand it will.
2006-11-20 08:04:40 · update #1
hey baby <33 dont change it seriously i love it, it made me all like warm and fuzzy inside lol but as the same time like makes you think a lot. I loved it sweetie don't change it. <33 muah i miss u call me !!
2006-11-21 01:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by lila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your writing leaves me with a question mark? It would be hard to give a better expression to a writing in which one may not understand what is trying to be expressed. It seems you are trying to tell something about yourself. You are suffering.
the snow child is you
your heart is cold
you want someone to warm your heart
you've wept for this
you are looking for someone to love with whom you can put your full trust
you haven't found this person yet
Does this express what you have written?
2006-11-20 16:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if this refers to the person that you had a pervious question about then I get.
I really do like it. it's really cool.
2006-11-20 16:38:28 · answer #3 · answered by boy_crazy_sasoun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE IT IS REALLY NICE ... wow u can write like that ... impressive...// i hope that special person sees how special u are..if not im gonna have to get my Puerto Rican self to Brooklyn ......................besos papi
2006-11-21 11:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by HOT LATINA 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very well written, I enjoyed it immensely....leave it as it is is my opinion
2006-11-20 17:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its deep,its something to think about.Love it
2006-11-20 16:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do I get the feeling...
that ur words sound like...
u cant have what u want???
anyway I enjoyed reading it......
2006-11-24 10:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats awsome dont change thats GOOD!
2006-11-20 15:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats like...really good!!! good job! â¥
2006-11-20 15:57:18 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Olivia 69♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know. . .she's lucky. . .
Brooklyn is lucky to have you both in it.
2006-11-20 16:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋