My daughter is selfish and spoiled what should i do?

Question

She doesn't share and if you take something from her she has a big temper tantrum. We were just eating so cookies and there were 2, so i ate one and she went off. I usually put her in time out in her room when she acts out like that but then when i let her out she wants me to hold her. If i hold her am i etting her know that her acting out is okay. How should i handle the selfishness. She turns 2 next month

Answer 1

You just have to be very patient with her. This behavior is actually normal. You are doing the right thing, when she acts less than as desired. Place her in time out for a few minutes. When you let her out and she wants attention, ie(cuddling, hugs, etc.) it is fine to do this. Just reinforce to her verbally, that you love her but you do not like when she acts like that, it isn't nice. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 2

A similar question was asked by someone else a couple days ago and I thought the answer was excellant. Here it is and it was answered by MARNONYAHOO.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

First of all, are there new changes in her life (move, new school, new sibling, family issues or stress)? If so, give her a little extra love and support.

As for the tantrums, temper tantrums are caused by children who are not getting their needs met. If they are not throwing a tantrum because they are ill, hungry, or tired, they will throw a tantrum because it feels powerful, they get attention for it, they are testing limits, or they are simply feeling frustrated. She is getting attention from you when she is misbehaving, though it may be negative attention, it is still attention.

Help her to feel powerful by saying thing like “Look how fast you can run! You jumped super high! You did that by yourself! You stacked every block! You used so many colors on you picture!” These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy).These phrases are great ways to help your daughter feel powerful, gain confidence, and show attention in a positive way.

Using natural and logical consequence when she is misbehaving will work best. Taking away a toy or privilege when you daughter spills her brother’s milk is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. Here are some examples of natural and logical consequences. When she spills her brother’s milk, give her a towel to wipe it up. If she tries to hurt the cat, be overly dramatic about keeping her away from the cat. When she spits, take her to the bathroom, point to the toilet and say "You can spit here. When you've finished then you can come out." Tell her what you expect of her and what she can expect when you go out in public. It she throws a tantrum, leave immediately. When she tells you “No” or misbehaves in other ways (throws a tantrum), get down to her level and say “I do not like when you (explain what and why in very few words).” Take her gently to a quiet area away from you and say “When you are ready to (stop, behave, listen, calm down…) then you can come back with me. This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she is ready to control herself. You may have to return her to the designated spot before she gets the message. Keep it up!

Empathize with her when she is behaving. “I can tell you were feeling very (mad, angry, upset, hurt, sad, frustrated). What can we do about that?” Do some problem solving and give her words to use. She will then learn to better express herself.

Set limits, follow through with them, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the FIRST time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

It helped me and I hope it helps you.

Answer 3

I've got a 2 year old daughter too. There is a reason why they call it "terrible twos" -- it is a time in their development where they start having strong opinions on things. You'll notice she'll start caring about what clothes she wears, what she eats, whether she can play with something. That is all normal. The only thing I can suggest is to not give in to temper tantrums -- that can be really tough (especially in public) but if you do, then she'll figure it is a something worth doing. Make it entirely unproductive to her to have a tantrum. In about a year it will go away (sorry but it can be that long).

Answer 4

Does she have any siblings? If not, then maybe schedule some play time with another child her age, so that she can start learning to share with other kids....you could take her to the park to meet kids, or a child museum in your area or a library, or even daycare for a couple hours a week.

Also, don't give in to her when she throws a tantrum, because she will associate crying with getting what she wants. When she doesn't want to share, calmly explain why she needs to, and just take the toy/cookie/etc. away from her, and let her cry about it.

Goodluck.

Answer 5

It sounds like she is testing her limits more then being selfish abd spoiled but trust me I know how you feel because this is the being of tests my daughter pushes the limits about every 6 months for a few weeks and then she realizes she is not the boss and things go back to normal. Just put her in a time out and explain it to her (I know shes still little but she will begin to understand). It sounds like you are doing a great job don't stress on it to much and teach by example!!

Answer 6

Hmm, the tantrums needs to be addressed by you placing her in her room until she is done having them. She does it for attention and has to be shown that there is negative attention and positive attention. Until she behaves properly, she will get placed in her room and receive NO attention from you whatsoever. Once she comes out of her room and behaves, explain to her (yes she understands on some level even this young) that her screaming and yelling is not ok with mommy. Never deny her affection but also keep consistent with making her see that she can't act this way and get out of being disciplined by wanting a hug. She knows she is acting inappropriately and trying to get out of actually being disciplined for it.

As for the sharing, when my children won't share or one of them starts screaming because they don't want to share, I tell them to share or no one will get to play with it. The other tactic that is important is showing her how nice it feels when someone shares with her. This may take a while for her to get considering her age. Stick with the lessons and be consistent. Repetition and consistency are key in breaking this behavior.

Good luck.

Answer 7

If you want her to change her behaviour, you have to stop rewarding it. Obviously she is getting something out of this - attention, or she wouldn't continue. Instead of holding her right after time out - try a little distance. You can give her a little hug to let her know punishment is over but don't coddle too much. She's still a little young, but you can try bargaining with her. Tell her mommy gives lots of hugs when you're a good girl and explain to her what good is. don't be afraid to take away her toys and don't give them back until her behaviour gets better

Answer 8

do not give her any response for a temper tantrum, because that's exactly what she's wanting to get from you. if she's acting bad when you're giving her a treat, take the treat away from her, and tell her that bad girls don't get treats, but good girls do. if she doesn't stop her tantrum, put her in bed and shut the door behind you. make it completely clear to her that this behavior is not acceptable, and you will not tolerate it. if you don't stand your ground here, her behavior will only get worse.

Answer 9

do not delay...you must tell her that you will not hold, cuddle or console her after a time out for misbehaving. It is hard but remain firm and consistent in your punishment. If you do not change her attitude now she will be harder to handle when she is 13..and older.
When you are putting her in time out...explain why you are doing it, what will happen if she continues to act out...talking is key. She may not understand or reason as well as older children but she will learn...remain calm, talk and stay firm
Best of luck to you

Answer 10

Dad needs to place down the regulation now and get her back on top of issues or he will have a sixteen 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous in juvy corridor she is enjoying the divorce card in all threat attempting to make her dad experience undesirable sounds like that's working.