Do you think she is actually cutting herself?

Question

I have a 12 yr old step daughter who says she’s a cutter. I’ve seen the marks on her ankle & wrist, they are small scratch like cuts. Obviously done with something sharp enough to cut the skin, however the cuts aren’t deep. They resemble cat scratches if I were trying to describe them efficiently. From what I have read about cutters, telling friends, & looking the subject up on the internet seems a bit out of character for someone who is doing this as a release. She doesn’t attempt to hide her cutting, has told her grandparents, mother, & girls at school about this. I have been informed by her principal that a few of her classmates were suspended for bringing razor blades to school, apparently these girls are ‘cutters’ too. My guess would be that she is doing this for attention, & because these other girls are also doing this. Either way it’s disturbing to me, & I want to get her the help she needs, but I also don’t want to reinforce this issue by making it into more than it is.

Answer 1

I too, am/was a cutter. I'm a recovering cutter I'd guess you'd say.

I, too, didn't care if people saw, because I didn't care what people thought.

Very rarely are cutters doing this for attention, a lot of it is for actual release.

My persona did NOT fit the steryotype AT ALL. My parents were absolutely astonished when they found out. Like. They were flabbergasted.

It could be too, since you are her step-mom that you think you know everything about her. And since this doesn't match up with your previous knowledge of her..it seems out of the ordinary.

Even though it is invading her privacy, raide her room, and collect any sharp objects she has.

Keeping the objects away from me, was the main thing that helped me start in recovery. I've been wound free for almost 3 months! And that's so amazing..it used to be every day, or every other day.

Anyway, talk to her about it..but don't be invasive. Ask her why she does this.

Ask her if there's something else she can do. Tell her to stop, but in a supportive(NOT DESTRUCTIVE!) manner.

If she tells you the reasons, and you think they are serious enough, take her to a psychiatrist.

I started out with "cat scratches" too, but then they got deeper and more serious.

I'd check this problem out before it persists greater.

I hope she is alright! Contact me if you have further questions.

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Answer 2

Sounds like she's one of the million of young girls who have discovered this fad. I say fad in her case because it doesn't sound like she is doing it for the "release" that you spoke of. I am a psychiatric nurse and have seen lots of cutters who seriously cut. They usually don't show and tell a lot of people except those that they are very close to if anyone at all. Unfortunatly because of the recent media coverage of this behavior some kids are trying it without having a reason(usually intense inner pain due to abuse or abandonment of some kid) and without knowing why some people cut(the release of pain).
In your case you might want to make an appointment with a doctor or therapist and have your daughter discuss why she's doing this. Perhaps, it's for attention or perhaps she does have some sort of issue that you are not aware of. I hope its not the latter.
If she tells you its for attention the doctor or therapist can educate her on the seriousness of this behavior and the consequenses that can occur (infection, bleeding to death, scarring etc.) Hopefully, she will stop. If not there should be some punishment until she stops.
Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Answer 3

I'm a 16 year old high schooler, and i have an idea as to what's going on.
If she openly is saying that she's a "cutter" she's probably looking for attention and also is trying to get into the "cutter" group at school (yet i don't think there are those in middle school)
A lot of the time kids will do this to be recognized as an emotionally unstable person, when in reality they are not, they just are looking for people to pay attention to them and coo over them, they want people to think they are a person in extreme...danger? when they really are not. She probably "cuts" herself with a paperclip to support her self-accusations.
I'm no doctor, but i hope this helps. I just think it's all a cry for attention.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Cutting no matter how superficial, is a serious mental health symptom. Though she is almost waring it as a 'badge of courage', the fact that she feels the need to go to such a drastic measure to 'just get attention' tells me that there is something significant going on. The good news is that any licensed psychologist with experience helping adolescents can help you. There may or may not be a need for medication. If there is they will most likely prescribe something called an 'SSRI' which is a family of anti-depressants used for impulsive behavior.

Answer 5

I think your hunch is probably right....but I would still get her some help. She is asking for guidance and this can become a chronic and serious problem. Cutting is not always private, some cutters flaunt their lacerations. Talk to her about appropriate ways of expressing her feelings, through talking, writing, art, etc. You may choose to tell her that you are unwilling to discuss this inappropriate behavior but would much rather talk to her about how she is feeling or find someone she can talk to. Sometimes it helps to "set limits" about what you will pay attention to and what you will not...what is acceptable behavior in your house and what is not. Feeding into it can be detrimental too. Remind her that she is not responsible for her feelings but as a (very) young adult she must now start to learn to be responsible for how she reacts to those feelings...and cutting is not how it is done. Explore some new avenues for better ways to react to negative feelings.

Answer 6

This is indeed difficult. My guess would be that it is partially for attention, and partially to fit in with the other kids at school. Doesn't sound like a true cutter to me. I would sit her down and have a long serious talk with her about being an adolescent, and peer pressure and the need to feel cool, and how she can actually ruin her life if she falls into the ways of the world, or school. Her friends aren't true friends if these are the ways to fit in. Most people just want friends to help them feel it is okay to do what they are doing. They certainly don't really care about their 'friends', or whether ornot they get hurt or get into trouble. You should tell your daughter not to risk her life mentally or physically for these people that don't really care about HER. She needs to focus on her future, beginning with her academics, and who she really wants to become, as in the type of person she wants to become, and true friends will soon flock to her. birds of a feather, you know. good luck, I know it is difficult to know the right thing to do. In this talk I certainly wouldn't belittle her efforts in attention, she could get worse. also let her know that it is normal to want to fit in, and that you were the same when you were her age so you do know how it feels. take care and good luck

Answer 7

I will give you your props for doing your research and you are correct, it is out of character for a "cutter" to announce it. I also agree she is seeking attention. I don't know how open of a relationship you have with her, however if she is willing to open up to...try to find the root of the problem. However, if this just makes things more explosive for you (don't invite the stress) seek the opinion of psyc doctor or a behavorlist they maybe able to guide you in the direction you need to go in.

Answer 8

if she were a true cutter then why did she show you her cuts?

i think she is just attention seeking myself.

i hope im right and she isnt a cutter but she needs to be maybe be shown the truth about cutters, maybe it will shock her into waking up and stop being so silly?

Answer 9

people cut for different reasons. it sounds like she is cutting because there is something wrong like maybe she is suffering from depression or something and she doesn't know how to tell you so she cuts as a cry for help. there are many kinds of cutters and just because she doesn't fit the profile of the norm doesn't make her problem any less severe. she is suffering with something and needs help.

Answer 10

I think she's doing it for attention. You and her dad should look into it and try talking to her.

Ask her why she cuts and why she feels the need to tell every one.
Also take all sharp objects, scissors, forks, paper clips and thin plastic things that can be broken into shards away from the little pyshco.

If this doesn't work, send her to her mom's. My guess is that what she wants.