Ready to take the relationship to the next level? I have been seeing this WONDERFUL guy off and on for about two years now. We are very compatible together. We have a very strong bond with eachother but it has always remained casual between us (we were "F" buddies, no commitment). We get along famously!!! Not too long ago we began seeing eachother again and this time I am ready for it to be a more serious relationship (hopefully long term)
How do I let him know that without coming on to strong?
I care VERY much about him and I think the feelings are mutuial (just from little things he says / does)
What do you think?
2006-11-20 07:11:34 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's gonna run like the wind!
2006-11-20 07:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First and foremost I would analyze the whole situation VERY carefully. Consider why it wasn't serious the first time and even perhaps why he hasn't brought the commitment thing up to you first.
Generally speaking, the male is usually (again a generalization) the slower to bring it up so that, perhaps, isn't a problem.
Now the former-Why did you split in the first? Is that going to become a problem again? Whatever it may be stands to your own considering.
Now then, if you still think this is what you want, and you are serious enough to really want it, set him down and talk about it like adults. Ask him about his feelings for you and the future. If he is serious enough and cares for you enough he WILL have this conversation with you to respect you and your emotions and that of the standing of you relationship together.
Go slow, don't push hard, and keep it light hearted. Generally men are more willing to talk if it doesn't feel like therapy, but there again, don't let it turn into a joke or let him dismiss it. Dismissal of a conversation as I said earlier is a sign of lack of commitment or fear of one.
Just my thoughts based on experience--
XOXO MeLissa
2006-11-20 15:18:28 · answer #2 · answered by KellysMeLissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in a "friends with benefits" situation myself. but I wonder if it is a good start for a long term relationship. Was he ever in a serious relationship with anybody else while you & he were "F" buddies? Remember, it doesn't matter how great you two get along, if he'll do it WITH you, he'll do it TO you.
I answered a question just a few days ago where the asker (a girl) was on the other side of your exact same situation, & she wasn't too happy that he was getting serious on her.
My 1st impulse is to say, " yeah if it's love go for it," but I would take a hard look at what you know about him, & proceed with caution.
2006-11-20 15:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this has been going on for 2 years I would think that one of you would have pressed for more if thats where this relationship was suppossed to go. But, If at the time you were both unavailable for a relationship due to being in other relationships and just having that "friends with benifits thin" with each other I think you could have a chance if thats where you both are in your life.
If you have feelings for him its better to find out now where this is going before you put anyomre time into this relationship. If he doesnt want to take it to another level-I would get out before you REALLY fall in love with him and get hurt. You both were getting what you wanted from this with just sleeping together now you want more-Does he? If not it wont work because now you have feelings fo him.
So, GO FOR IT-Tell him already
2006-11-20 15:21:04 · answer #4 · answered by ROOTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mistake may have been getting back together with him again... and picking up from where you left off from your last relationship with him... You probably should have told him at that time you were interested in something more meaningful this time because of the feelings you have for him... That you want something more closer and permanent... He may have come back to you simply because of the loose open relationship you previously shared with him... Then again who knows... He may want more also... At this point you will have to confront him and take your chances... It's best to find out now what his real intentions are... Good Luck...
2006-11-20 15:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u are really ready to be seriously committed,then u should just tell him what u really want..Dont play games or show him indirectly but tell him directly what u want....Be honest and sincere and if he really cares abt u and wants u,he will be attracted more to ur honesty and will definitely regard u as a mature girl or lady :)..... Good luck
2006-11-20 15:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by hass_mat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should assume anything and find out how he feels about being in a committed relationship with anyone - let alone with you? Timing is everything.
2006-11-20 15:15:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell that you would like to know where things are going to go b/w the two of you in his opinion. Let him know that feelings are starting to get involved and you dont want to get hurt or hurt him. Be honest and just tell him that you like him and want to see what this can lead to.
2006-11-20 15:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by bnelly05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you friend is your 'f' buddy that will b hard for a long term relationship unless you both have already have feeling for each other. if you want to start your long term relationship you must make sure he care for you not because he just wan to hav 's' with you..
2006-11-20 15:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what you should do. Just wanted to say good luck to you
all things will work out for the best
2006-11-20 15:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by prettygirl5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this might be a bit of a stretch, so take it for what it's worth
how about talking to him about it???????
communicating seems to be becoming obsolete, don't be so quick to say I don't understand because I do understand
besides if you know him good enough to stick his c*ck in your mouth here and there then being open with him shouldn't be a problem
2006-11-20 15:17:50 · answer #11 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋