We have been together for 3 years and have a 1 year old. Can this relationship be saved? He claims they never did anything physically and he changed his number and didn't give it to the girl. He claims he loves me and wants to only be with me etc. I am so hurt by this, can this relationship be saved or should I just move on?
He is a perfect dad as well.
2006-11-20 07:07:04 · 30 answers · asked by Diamonds_4Ever 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The girl doesn't live in town, he erased the pics and her number and changed his number (and didn't give it to her)...
2006-11-20 07:14:22 · update #1
It's very hard to say. First I would discuss with him why he felt the necessity to do this. is there something missing in the relationship, is he just being disloyal? make sure you make your feelings known to him and ask him to be honest with you. you can only get through situations like this if you get everything, and i mean everything, out on the table. otherwise you will always be asking questions...if you break up or stay together, if it isn't resolved as much as it can be right now, eventually it will destroy the relationship or bug you because it will be on your mind. you say he is a great dad, but is he great to you?? apart from this incident are there other things he has done wrong?? if this is a one time thing, then maybe he just slipped up. let him know that you will not put up with it again though. ask him how he would feel if you did that. say that if he wants only you that he has to earn back your trust. this doesn't mean he has to be your slave or something, but explain that you know he is going to find other women attractive, but exchanging nude pictures is not right when he has a kid and a girlfriend who wants total commitment. i would give it a chance if a part from this he treats you well. but you have to respect yourself and let him know you deserve better than that. good luck. i hope you can work things out.
2006-11-20 07:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by cheekybrit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With him saying he never sent the pics to this other girl is just a lie. As you've probably already gone over in your head, "why did he make these pics in the 1st place?" Obviously he's trying to make you out into a fool by making you think nothing ever happened. If you plan to stay him, watch him closely. More than likely it'll happen again if it got to the point to where another women is already sending him nude pics. You can save this relationship, but the trust is gone and you need to let him know that. Trust is something you earn, its not just handed out. Its your decision to stay with him or not. No one can tell you otherwise. Best of luck to ya!
2006-11-20 07:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless - you need to become unavailable to him. If you live together - toss him out (change the locks) or stay at a friends for a week or so.You can always send him pics of you and other men flirting at bars (really just ask a guy and he will have his pic taken with you) or take a picture of your man's belongings out on the curb.
I am not sure how innocent this all was. Sending nude pics back is pretty "engaging" if you ask me. If you play with fire...etc...etc...You need to think hard about all this once the anger and hurt fades.
But some immediate small revenge is in order to salvage your pride a bit.
2006-11-20 09:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Trust is the hardest thing to build in a relationship... and he has broken your trust into pieces. You guys can overcome this! But you will have to find a way of building trust again. I would definitely recommend counseling. Once you are there, you will be able to see if he is willing and able to change. If he doesn't show interest in changing.. then you must move on.
2006-11-20 07:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Wayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes even though the truth is right there in front of us....love leads us to be blind. I know you must love him. I understand why....he's not only the father of your child, but also the one person that you've sacrificed the most for, and it hurts beyond belief to be deceived by someone you trust. You have to ask yourself though, if you do decide to overlook this situation, will you ever fully and completely trust him again? Love cannot work without honesty. Ask him once and for all to be totally and completely honest with you, then maybe you'll be able to decide for yourself whether or not he's worth keeping around.
2006-11-20 07:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by wilsonsarahmarie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would erase them and see if they come back at a later date. You definitely need to have a serious discussion and counseling would probably be a good thing. If you want the relationship to work it can, but you both have to want it. It's not fair or right for you to drag him along and do all the work. You need to find out what his true intentions are.
2006-11-20 07:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by dantheman_028 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can be saved. He needs to tell you the whole truth, & spare you nothing. Then he starts to build a new foundation of trust with you one day at a time. Your part is to try to put the past behind you. Just be ready with an exit plan for your relationship in case he does something to screw it up again.
2006-11-20 07:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what anyone write on here, you are going to make your own decision. If you are ready and willing to leave him, then you will do it, but if not then dont even pretend. I say make up your mind if of how bad you want to save the relationship and if you will truly be able to trust him. If you cant trust him then yall will both be unhappy.
2006-11-20 07:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by bnelly05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship is definetly salvageable. Especially if he is a perfect dad. I know what he did was wrong and your trust for him has been compromised, however I think if he is perfect dad and you love him and he loves you, for the sake of your child try to work it out. He will have to earn your trust. Good luck!
2006-11-20 07:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by hdb107 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to delete the pics and (even though it's wrong but in this case it's OK) keep checking his phone for any signs of the girl on his phone. I f there are signs that he still talks to her then leave him.
Hope I helped.
2006-11-20 07:12:39 · answer #10 · answered by halouno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋