If a Christian woman marries and her spouse dies she can remarry. If her husband cheats on her then she is allowed to choose if she wants to divorce.-in some Christian religions But what about if her husband doesn't cheat on her but instead does things that are unreasonable. (such as leaving for 3-4 days at a time for places unknown. abusing drugs and refusing help when the abuse was discovered, emptying the bank account and causing eviction-although he won't work, makes hurtful comments to her when she begs him to stop his behaviour and get counselling) This behaviour went on for three years before he,not she,left. He left without mentioning that he would not be back. 2weeks later he called and said he was getting help. He was not allowed back into the home after finding out about the drug use until he got clean. It has now been 4years of waiting. He is still not working, not helping support the kids or even seeing them often(his choice), he is partying all the time.
2006-11-20 06:01:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This is a true story. Should she be allowed a divorce even though he hasn't cheated? He did not behave this way before they were married. They dated for three years. Are different denominations different? Catholic, United? others...Would divorce be acceptable then. Or should she put up with this for the rest of her life and damage the children even more.
2006-11-20 06:03:23 · update #1
To the man who began by saying heterosexuals who take a cavalier attitude toward marriage. I understand you are angry but in this situation she is not taking that attitude. She had been doing everything she could think of.
2006-11-20 06:55:40 · update #2
She still cant divorce him. They can seperate, but neither of tehm can "see" anyone else ro try to remarry.
2006-11-20 06:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Shane 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Answering this question from the Catholic point of view.
Adultery is not a grounds for divorce. The New American Bible used by the Catholic Church says that divorce is permissible if the marriage is unlawful. Marriage between close relations is unlawful.
What can be done is to see if there are grounds for the marriage to be annulled. A marriage is not valid if either person was pressured into getting married, information was withheld that may have made the other person decide not to get married (keeping secret a drug dependency problem or existing mental illness), or if either of the persons is not mature enough emotionally to enter into a marriage.
Testimony will be taken from persons who know the couple and from the couple to determine if the marriage was valid. The husband does not have to give testimony for an annulment to be granted if he is uncooperative.
A declaration of nullity of a marriage has no effect on the legitimacy of children from the marriage.
Please contact me if you have any questions.
2006-11-20 07:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were any of these behaviors there prior to the marriage? If so why did they go through with it? Did the individual take the time to get to know that the person was a drunk, addict, abuser, womanizer? I am not trying to blame the victim on anything, just trying to emphasize the important part of marriage, of getting to know the person.
With people making life choices after 1 or 2 months is absurd. One has to do their own due diligence on the other before being making that kind of commitment. You dont decide about a life long commitment after a few weeks or months of sex and fun. It takes years to know someone on that level. I dated my wife for over 5 years before we got married. AGAIN, I AM NOT BLAMING THE PERSON BEING VICTIMIZED BY ANOTHER. They don't have a choice to be abused. All i am saying is that I have found that many plan more for the wedding than the marriage.
2006-11-20 06:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by ricks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such aberrant behavior could serve as sufficient evidence that he never understood or cared about the responsibilities of marriage from the beginning, and if so, that could serve as grounds for annulment. There are specific requirements for validity in a Christian marriage, and one who goes through the wedding ceremony with one or more of these requirements lacking is not really validly married. The Catholic Church teaches that a valid Christian marriage cannot be dissolved by anything other than the death of one of the parties. That's what the solemn vows of marriage clearly state, and the Catholic Church takes marriage vows seriously. For Catholics in such a situation, two avenues are open. First, petition for annulment, which, if granted, would free both parties to marry validly to someone else. And second, if the annulment is not granted, separation might be called for, in which case they are still married, but do not live together, due to extreme circumstances.
2006-11-20 06:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by PaulCyp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Sorry. Especially if the marriage was Sacramental and the intention was Sacramental.
This is the classic Catholic/Anglican answer. Your mileage may vary...
But, aside from death and adultery (the only two valid reasons for the vows to be null and void) - all of what you have stated:
>> such as leaving for 3-4 days at a time for places unknown. abusing drugs and refusing help when the abuse was discovered, emptying the bank account and causing eviction-although he won't work, makes hurtful comments to her when she begs him to stop his behaviour and get counselling <<
....falls under "for better or for worse".
2006-11-20 06:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So many heterosexuals take a cavalier attitude regarding marriage. They've destroyed it.
If you make a vow, you ought to keep it. For better or worse means for better or worse. It does not mean until I find out you're not so hot after all.
You will not hear many Christian ministers railing against divorce, though. You will not hear any Christians saying that divorced people should not be allowed to remarry. Or should not be allowed to adopt children. Or should be booted out of the military. Or not allowed to teach children. Or that they should not be allowed to flaunt their lifestyle of living in their sin when they choose to remarry.
Bit of a double standard, isn't it? (When you consider the attitude that people take regarding gay men and women.)
I expect more than a few thumbs down here. And maybe an abuse report. But perhaps a few of you will get my point.
2006-11-20 06:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God created us for relationship. He did not create us to be doormats.
God hates divorce but loves the divorcee. He hates the pain we go through, because it hurts Him when we hurt.
((This is my belief and opinion...)) There are only a few reasons for divorce: adultery, abuse (physical, mental and chemical) and just a handful of other reasons.
Here's the great part...when we divorce (unless Biblical it's a sin) and we ask for forgiveness, God is faithful and He forgives. Your sin is gone and you can more forward with your life and clean slate.
God's grace is sufficient. Pray about it and He will show you!
I attend a non-denominational Church and she would be accepted.
***Diamond, I think you did the right thing...((That's not permission, that's acceptance.)) God loves you and since you and He have an understanding...that's really all that matters!
2006-11-20 06:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by Salvation is a gift, Eph 2:8-9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God does Not expect someone to have to litteraly here on earth having to live in hell, I would say to this sister, If you know that he will not come back, & he enjoys the world more than his family, then Sister if you done all you could on your part, You will be free & to remarried only a Christian man. If your Husband is truly trying to get his life back together, & he is not abusing you, stay with him & try to help him. God does not expect a man or woman to have to live in hell on this earth. And Sister there is scriptures that allows you to do such things.
2006-11-20 06:08:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cannot divorce on what you have described.
She can get child support though. Most states pay it and get after the Dad to keep it caught up. It'll help grow him up quicker too.
2006-11-20 06:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by rangedog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk with a trusted person from your Church. There must be a way to help both you and your husband. I'm sorry things have been so hard for you.
2006-11-20 06:08:48 · answer #10 · answered by <><><> 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, i dont know what church you go to. I read the Bible. I am a Christian. I congregate in a great church. In my opinion it is best for you to get a divorce, but as a Christian i think that it would be best to separate for a while. Its true that God is against divorce. Yes. The only divorce that is acceptable is that where one cheats on the other. I have been around many couples that go through hard time and some work at the end and some dont. Thats life. Only God knows what we have done in the best and what lies ahead of us. Pray a lot for God to guide you and help you make the right decision not only for you but for your kids as well. I dont think that this is a healthy environments for you nor your kids. I dont think that God wants you to be miserable for the rest of your life. When my mom got baptized she received a lot of help. A month after her baptism my mom was adviced to leave my dad for a while. She wanted to work things out buyt she wanted to let my dad know that she cared for their marriage, for his life (to come to God) and for him to know that she was serious. She left the city for a few months and when my mom came back my dad studied the Bible and then he got baptized. three years after my dad is now preaching in jails to prisoners, and he and my mom teach to new Christians, marriages and at the same time go to Bible School. Not only did God Bless my mom for her decision, She Blessed my Dad with a new life, a great marriage and a happier family. He Blessed me of course! :) My aunt is now separated and moved with another aunt of mine for he abused her physically and mentally and he drinks and uses drugs.. we can only pary and be patient. My best friend right now moved to Virginia when she got married from San Diego, she is abused verbally and also he hits her at times... She is about to leave... You know, the Bible talks about the people you surround yourself with. It says to be careful who you hang with for they may bring you to their Gods. i would advice you to pray and ask for much counsel, and i say that you may consider a separation... and let him know that you want the best for your kids and yourself. That you care for his salvation and you are willing to get back together once he gets better. Let him know that you love him and that you are there for him. That God loves him and that you will be waiting. Have no direct contact but through another couple maybe in the church, let him see his kids. With time and desperation to be with his Family (you guys) he will find himself ALONE and with no one but God. He may surrender his life and become a Christian. Only God knows. You just need to be strong and decide not only whats best for you, but think about what is best for your kids.
2006-11-20 07:11:21 · answer #11 · answered by ahuga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋