My 11 year old son is extremly intellegent and makes good grades and for the most part a pretty good kid. Latley though he lies about the pettiest things you can think of, His hygene habits are horrible (he use to be very much into being clean when he was younger so this is recent) and when you talk to him he is like in another world he will give you an answer to something totaly off the subject of what you asked him. He never use to be like this and since school has started this year he has changed. Any suggestions to the craziness? My 6 year old son acts older then my 11 year old and I dont mean that in a mean way but its really the truth. What should I do?
2006-11-20 05:35:20 · 15 answers · asked by onehotmama 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is so normal. Boy, I don't miss those days.
He is lying for 1 of 2 reasons, or both, 1-to make him feel better about himself, or 2-to test you to see how far he can string the bs before you catch on. You have to nip this in the bud. If he is lying about bs (something at school, etc) try saying, "that sounds like a great story, but what really happened". If he's testing you, use whatever means necessary, (spying, going through his room, grilling his friends, talking to his teachers) to find the truth and let him know you always will. If he gets away with it now, it won't be long before he is lying about drugs, sex, alcohol and other teen boy badness.
As for the odor problem, pre-teen and teen boys hormones make them smell awful! Sit him down and tell him how unpleasant his hormones are making him smell, tell him everyone, including girls, would appreciate it if he showers daily, and uses deoderant and such. Then give him a cool gift pack of the manly smell good stuff (Axe, etc) there is a ton of it on the market these days.
Good luck, before you know it he will be grown up and a pain in your butt...lol
2006-11-20 05:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by Gem 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have an 11 yr. old and a 15 yr. old. Both boys. I remember my oldest going through this. He would start crying he HATED his life over a burnt pizza. I used to have to threaten and conjole him to take a shower and remind him all of the time to use deorderant. Now I'm reliving it with my 11 year old, as you will when your youngest gets older.
I now have to turn on the hot water in the kitchen to drive the 15 yr. old out of the shower. He not only wears deoderant, but cologne too.
Keep reminding him how unpleasant he smells if he doesn't shower and ask him how he would react to some smelly kid sitting next to him. Don't reward the outbursts, but don't over react either, it comes with the territory. Calmly remind him who he's talking to and that he is to talk to you with respect or don't talk. Above all don't make fun of him. Being laughed at at that age really makes a kid feel awful and misunderstood.
2006-11-22 00:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by LilRedHrdGrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, our son is also 11yrs old. They are going through puberty. Do you remember how awful it was for us? It sucked!! The lying, we aren't having a problem with. Everything else? Yep. Eventually this too will pass. Just try to be understanding of his situation & pick you battles wisely. Let him know that you love him & that you get it. I would not put up with disrespectfulness, but we let our son slide on other things. Other wise we'd be doing nothing except fighting all day. Life is too short for that. If hygiene is an issue for you, remember that it is for others at his school too. They'll be able to goad him into showering & you won't have to make it a big deal. Our parents survived adolescence, we will too.
2006-11-21 03:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by jodi g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a 12 year old boy and it is starting to get a bit better this year. It seems like it is just puberty. I told my son that girls like boys that are clean and behave themselves and that helped a bit. He does have to be reminded. We bought him deodorant and let him pick out his own soaps and shampoos. I also told him that the same hormones can affect his moods but that he is grown up enough to try to control them and should still be nice to people. I gave him more responsibilities when he was acting grown up and so far this is working out nicely. We have had very few problems. He stopped going to a sitter after school as long as he does his homework and does not get into trouble at school. So far this year his grades have gone up and he usually lacks in the school/homework department. Also be warned because my son has lately started to act a bit piggish(I bet you remember what boys at that age are like) walking hormones. It is hard trying to teach them to be respectful of women at such a young age but we keep telling him that he will have more girls interested in him if he is respectful and that helps. It is hard because they are also trying to impress other 11 year old boys who think the piggish talk is funny. We are constantly reminding him that this behavior is not funny- it is rude. It is important that the male role model in his life is respectful towards women.
Good luck- it should be a quick phase.
2006-11-20 06:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by yahoomania 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was warned when my son started middle school that he would change. I didn't want to believe it and it didn't happen at first. It happended this year. His behavior changed, his habits changed and his organization skills changed and yes he started the lieing thing too.
I just over come all of those and make sure he keeps the same schedule and habits at home and I do remind him of things. I also keep up with the teachers at school and make sure he doesn't change completely. I was told he is just a growing boy and trying to figure out himself. Just takes time and keep working with him.
2006-11-20 05:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
welcome to middle school aged kids.
this is where your endurance as a parent will be tested. Not to worry if you can survive the next 7 years you will be fine.....and so will he.
He's no longer dependent on you for decision making. He's flexing his wings.
I taught middle school for several years. Just be thankful you have to deal with ONE child and not a whole class of blooming independence. Unfortunately they still don't know enough to make smart choices, but that won't stop them from making them. The first consideration is "what would my parent say do".....then they will choose the opposite!
Just chill and continue to talk to your son. He will still listen even if he doesn't do what you say. In the end, he will be fine.
2006-11-20 05:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kids will be kids...my niece is 13 and does the same thing. Think back to when you were a kid? Didn't you fight with your parents and act out? Just keep loving him, that's all he needs. But definitely explain the importance of hygiene, I'm sure he knows but you don't want him being the smelly kid at school.
2006-11-20 05:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by sioballen 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!!! He has all the signs of beginning puberty! The hygiene issues probably won't improve until he 1) gets interested in girls; 2) one (or more) of his peers make it an issue (kids are soooo mean @ this age!); or 3) teachers - particularly health teachers - tell the kids they need to improve their hygiene habits. Enjoy the ride - it has only just begun!!! (good luck...)
2006-11-20 08:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by voycinwilderness 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi i am 10 years old you're son is 1 year older than me,i think you should tell him you're problem about him when he is acting still like a child focus whatever TV program he is always watching because he can imitate things [ neither bad things ] on the Television.
GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE !
2006-11-20 05:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by DaRkAngeL XIII 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its hormonal he is going through some changes hang in there the teen age years are coming. Good Luck
2006-11-20 05:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by mary3127 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋