we have friends, that recently had their 1st baby , and i planned the baby shower and everything for her and i

Question

was real excited for them and everything ( my boyfriend and i dont have kids , just pets) so now that their baby is growing up and we go and visit, i feel pretty weird , like things have changed with them in the aspect that , now, we hear a lot of baby talk and my boyfreind and i arent really "baby peaple " - like playfull with the baby , other than just smile and say hes a cute baby -
so , what can i do to overcome this feeling?? anyone been in this situation ? do you think they feel bad, we dont really mingle with their child ??

Answer 1

Just about everyone who has a child or who has a close friend who has a child and they don't has been through this. A lot of lives change when someone has a child. Not just the life of the parents. My husband and I have 3 children and are going to try to have another one in about a year. My best friend however does not have any, does not ever want any, and is not married. We still get along great, but don't hang out a lot. When she wants to hang out, she wants to go to the bar or club. We on the other hand would rather go to dinner with the kids or cookout. It is difficult for a couple with no children to be really good friends with a couple with children b/c their interests have changed. Good luck!

Answer 2

It's pretty normal I think. Having a baby is a huge change in a couple's life. I mean they have a child of course that's going to preoccupy a lot of their thoughts. They're at a very different stage in their life than you and your boyfriend are. If it were the other way around (ie you had the baby and your friends had pets) The situation may very well be reversed. Your friends may not understand how you're feeling, and at this point it's probably a very good idea to communicate feelings properly so that no-one gets hurt or comes to any wrongful conclusions, and the friendship becomes soured. I unfortunately cannot say what your friends are feeling, only they can, that's why you should sit down and chat with your friend and find out how she's feeling, and make sure she knows how you're feeling so that together you can work past it with little or no drama.
Communication is the key to great friendships.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

This is real hard and is a very personal thing. I felt the same way with friends that had a new born. I have kids of my own but, When I visited my friend, I just wanted to visit with her and not the baby too. So i just kept my friendship with her pretty much over the phone and visited for birthdays and holidays. I found other friends to go out with and she understood. Every one handles it differently.

Answer 4

Things change for you when you have kids. Since you don't have kids, you don't have the exact same concerns and priorities anymore. You just have to realize that their child will come first now. If you aren't a "baby person", that's fine. I'm sure your friends already knew that about you. You won't offend them if you don't go ga-ga over the baby. However, be sure not to act like you are repulsed by the baby.

Answer 5

You have been and are a good friend to them.

There are two kinds of people in the world:

Those with children
and
Those with no children.

Those with children are completely consumed by the baby, especially in the early weeks/years. Which can be boring for those with no children.

I really have no suggestions for you except to say that keep in touch a little less frequently & have other subjects to talk about with them. You never know, one of these days you may decide to have children too & will be glad of their friendship.

Answer 6

Most babies react better best to smiling faces and being spoken to in adult language – so it is perfectly ok to talk to the baby like ou talk to anyone else... You don’t have to go gaa gaa goo ggo toward /over the baby…

Let mom and dad gloating and blather on like all new parents do… in a year or two they will begging for adult conversation… so relax no need to change anything, just keep on being a firend - you have done so much already –I’m sure they love you for it!

Answer 7

This is completely normal. Of course things changed for them, It's because they now have a child and it drastically changes your focus on life and perspective. YOu don't have children, so you don't understand it. I'm sure they don't feel badly about you and there's nothing for you to overcome because you can't possibly understand until you have children of your own. Just enjoy each other's company.

Answer 8

It is a natural thing that happens between friends with children and without. I really don't think there is anything you can do except make dates to do adult things without the child. Dinner out, drinks, etc..