I would be curious to hear your reactions to this quote from a current article (called " Dating Is Good for the Soul") by Donna Freitas in Yahoo Personals:
"As with divine love, going out on a date is like an invitation to mystery: the mystery being both the other person, as well as the depths within ourselves we have yet to discover. Dating encourages us to take leaps of faith into the unknown, to invest ourselves, even for a short time, in the idea of a relationship, in opening ourselves up to someone new, and in presenting ourselves in our best form."
And if you agree with Freitas' perspective, then I have a further question. If dating is good for the soul, then might it be it be a good idea for some married people to date (in the context of mutual consent, as in swinging or polyamory)? Or is it always best that married people simply give up this sort of exploration/adventure? Why?
2006-11-20 05:27:31 · 8 answers · asked by eroticohio 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here is a link to Donna Freitas' article:
http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/dating-advice_soul-dating-beliefnet;_ylc=X3oDMTJibTdkcnJtBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDOTc2NDMyMTMEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNkYXRpbmctYWR2aWNlX3NvdWwtZGF0aW5nLWJlbGllZm5ldA
2006-11-20 05:28:23 · update #1
The key words in your question is "some people."
Most marriages can't stand up to the additional work required to support each other and with polyamory (or swinging - though there is little emotional involvement there - swinging by definition is recreational sex) the other person(s) involved. It is not human nature to be monogamous and thus requires a lot of work and communication. The problem is that non-monogamy requires even more work and communication, just because you are involving more people. It does keep you on your toes though (I am polyamorous) and nothing 'ever' gets boring. contrary to popular belief the love does strengthen if there is open and honest communication amongst those involved.
Should married people give up this sort of exploration/adventure. Well that is a choice two people make together and it should be. but usually isn't, made with the full understanding of what is involved in maintaining a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship.
Might it be a good idea to date... Well, married people have platonic dates with friends all the time. In a monogamous relationship this fulfills the need most of us have for socialization. so, i don't believe that married/monogamous people give up anything, as long as they aren't hermits, except sex.
The difference that I think you're inferring is the sex and that is both a personal choice and how socially wired they are. If they have been influenced by society to be monogamous and they feel comfort in those social tenets then they will find what they need from each other. On the other hand, there are those who, to a lesser degree have not been wired by social norms to monogamy. Even in a marriage, they will not be satisfied, whether they seek another sexual partner or not. Couples who are faced with this kind of turmoil need to start talking openly with their partners. I have been quite surprised as to how many of those partners have been feeling the same way. So for them, the answer is no, they should not give up.
2006-11-25 09:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the quote,
as for married people, they should continue on like they where dating each other before the got married.
2006-11-20 13:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by nik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting and opening to new people, trying to represent yourself in the best way, it's good, but many deep relationships going bad can emotionally wear down a person. Also dating a lot of people can in the future make it tough to stick to one person till the rest of your life. In marriage, I think it should definitly end.
2006-11-24 08:42:26 · answer #3 · answered by tamerlane007 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think sometimes it can be...depends the ones that don wanna be alone they need someone there to cheer them up and someone that needs love in there life bc they never got it before...it's jus the matter of if that person loves someone...sometimes it jus sucks but hey this is relality...reality is bigger than some fairy tale story/movie.
2006-11-20 13:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by BurgNavigator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating is not good for your soul.the best solution is merrege
2006-11-20 14:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by UnderstandingLife 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dating is good for soul but sex is good for body ;)
2006-11-20 13:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guees is good until you get married
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2006-11-20 13:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
no it's not
2006-11-20 13:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋