I went out to dinner with two friends of mine and my boyfriend. We were there having a conversation, and whenever he speaks, everyone in the restaurant looks at our table. HE TALKS SO LOUD!!! Even when we're alone or somewhere just the two of us, his voice is louder than everyone elses. He does know how to talk quiet, whisper even.... I know he probably can't help it....
I dont know what to do. It's really embarassing.
2006-11-20 05:27:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
He was at my house and I was tucking my son in... I went down and said " i just put aidan to bed, let's keep it down", and he's like OKAY, and nothing changed.
2006-11-20 05:46:24 · update #1
maybe i'll tell him when i've been drinking.....that way he cant hold it against me, and he'll get the message.
2006-11-20 10:28:56 · update #2
I love this question!! In my group of friends (there's about 16 of us who hang out together on a regular basis) there are 2 women who seem to SHOUT all the time! When they are both around it is like a contest between them as to who can out-shout whom. The rest of us cover our ears simultaneously...they get the message and we all have a good laugh. One is an attorney, the other a speech therapist for elementary schools. Both careers call for strong, determined personalities. Neither of these ladies realize they are shouting when they speak, so the rest of us will quietly and politely ask them to use their "inside voices" when we don't do the "hands on ears" thing.
My husband has a hearing problem and tends to speak loudly, too. (I can't seem to escape from "Loud Talkers"..ha ha ha) If we're out somewhere, I quietly tell him not to educate the masses.
Humor is such a good tool.
2006-11-20 07:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quietly! "Angry Gay Man" just gave you a good answer. I agree - sometimes the problem is just one that people are just loud by nature. If you tell him in a polite way that perhaps he does not realize that his voice "carries" (that's a lot better than saying You talk too loud!) and that in settings like a restaurant other diners will be able to hear everything that he says and that he miht even be disturbing their dinner. You could ask him if he is doing this could you develop a little sign (something unobtrusive like rubbing your earlobe or placing your hands in a certain way or something, you think of - then if he is being loud in a group of people you could give him a heads up and maybe that would help. He at least would be made more aware of it, and it would not be embarrasing him by telling him to be quieter in a group. I find that if people are talking really loudly that if I answer in a very soft spoken voice they tend to tone theirs down too. It's like if you whisper, people tend to whisper back and then later on they may ask "why are we whispering" but it is just instinctive to respond in kind. Don't yell at him to shut up, that is just rude and will not accomplish what you want. Good luck. If he is a good boyfriend in other ways, it is worth it to help him overcome this bad habit because if it annoys you it annoys others, and he may have people judge him wrongly for something that he is not consciously doing.
2006-11-20 06:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by kathy s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. Loud people like that drive me up the friggin' wall. It is either because they have bad hearing or they grew up around loud people. Why can't you just tell him though? If that is the way he has talked his whole life - which it probably is - you may be able to recondition him, but it will take time. Consistently keep on him about it for awhile and see if you notice a difference. Just motion to him with your hand. Like a little signal he will recognize where you can communicate he is being loud without others noticing. If he really can't tell when he is being loud you may want to suggest that he get his hearing checked. Especially if he needs high volume on the t.v. and radio.
2006-11-20 06:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can't hear very well, and they don't realize that they're talking louder than everyone else. Maybe you should just tell him, "Bill, I don't know if you've noticed, but you seem to talk louder than other people. I just wanted to let you know because I noticed some people looking at you in the restaurant."
2006-11-20 12:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey I am sorry and also angry particularly as you say your mum is a doctor - either she is blind with love or to embarrassed to deal with the problem. It also is not just you - you mentioned your younger brother hides under th e covers and cries. what do you think this is doing to you. You dad seriously needs to go to anger management class - why si no one talking to him - are they all scared - do you have to wait until he does actually hurt someone even in accident - what if he tripped when he cam eat you with the knife. You are not at fault in any of this - anyone would be proud to have you as their daughter - your mother needs to speak up to protect her children and give your dad a choice, get help or take a walk. Either way it will be hard but it needs done.
2016-05-21 23:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him he has a voice that really carries. That's a nicer way to put it. And that he has to watch it because he sounds really loud without realizing it sometimes. I empathize with you. My entire family is LOUD. Same as your boyfriend in that they don't do it on purpose. It's just how they are.
2006-11-20 05:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he partially deaf, or is his hearing bad. People who can't hear well talks louder. I guess it is because they want others to talk louder also. I find myself doing it, for that reason.
Talk to him about it... gently. Maybe there is a problem there, and he isn't aware of it.
Or, of couse, he could just be an insensative big mouth!
2006-11-20 05:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by Momma Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!!! I can just imagine the look on your face when he starts talking. That is so funny to me. I'm the same, I can't stand a loud-talker, but it's hard for me to say anything to them. I just try to talk softer so they get the hint. Good Luck lol!
2006-11-20 05:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by DJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heh heh. my husband also has this problem. but, i just tell him to be quiet. maybe that's easier for me because i'm married to the guy. you tend to become more comfortable with telling someone things like that, after you're with them for a while. if i were you, i would just tell him.
2006-11-20 05:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say you talk to friggin loud in a laughy kind of way but them say im serious haha
2006-11-20 05:39:44 · answer #10 · answered by diamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋