In order for my sister to be able to go out with her friends and hang out..she tells my parents thats she's staying with me. There are times where I don't even know she's doing it. Other times she texts me. I want her to stop. She is my sister..so how do I tell her to stop w/o being confrontational?
2006-11-20 05:23:53 · 8 answers · asked by Meda1nonly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to just be open and honest with her about it. I could hardly blame her for wanting time with friends etc., but it is her child and her responsibility. She needs to make an agreement with your parents instead of lying to them and making you a party to it.
So, you say, look sis, I love you, but you cannot use me for an excuse with mom and dad anymore. You need to work an honest arrangement out with them.
2006-11-20 05:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister that you're worried about how little time she spends taking care of her daughter; and if Grandma and Grandpa are watching the munchkin and there is no change in your sis' behavior, you are going to tell your parents that she is taking advantage of all of you. You also have to think of what's best for your niece, so this is something on which you do need to take a definite stance. Play up the 'caring auntie' routine, though. That should help.
2006-11-20 05:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, she got caught with her pants down, ended up preggers? It is unfair not only to you and your parents that she is using you to escape her responsibilities. She may feel she is losing out on life and being with her friends or as such. Talk with your sister and be honest. Let her know that it does bother you when she uses you as an escape route. Do your parents end up babysitting? Maybe she needs to be honest with herself and your parents too. Does she have a job? Or you could say in a "matter of factly voice", this is the way it is. Don't use me as an escape route anymore so you can go out. And walk away. I'm sure you will get alot of input to your question.
Good luck dear.
2006-11-20 05:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by orcahock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be open with her and tell her how much it bothers you...What she's doing to you in not sisterhood and not Motherly like...If she's not stable enough that she's living with your parents still...There's a reason for that...She needs to grow up and she never will if you or your parents keep letting her do this...Just ask her what her priority is...I'm sure there's a reason why she's hiding from your parents...She really needs to be more open to them in the first place...It's the only way she's ever gonna find herself...And once she finds herself...Then she'll be able to raise her lil girl, the right way...
Just let her know that you love her...But she has to be honest with herself and stop all these lying...
Good luck.
2006-11-20 05:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by $&$& 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were my sister I would tell her the same thing I just told 3 of my friends two days ago I love you and respect you allot but for the record in the future please don't involve me in this kind of lie because as a friend I wouldn't do this to you. It gets me into a situation I would rather avoid and as my friend I know you can understand how I do feel. I'm not trying to be ugly or mean but I really don't like being drug into other folks problems I have plenty of my own to deal with.
2006-11-20 05:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by yahoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to shout at her less, and tell her that you love her and you will be there for her for what ever decisions she makes. (because she will do it any way, at least f she is more comfortable talking to you about it, you might be able to help her) tell her what ever you have told her is because you love her and you would want her to be successful, but she is right, she is 18 and you cant decide for her. then after she calms down abit tell her all the reasons why you think she should go to school, (for example she should go because if she finishes school she will find a good job, and then she wont need anybody) but you really cant make her do any thing now, so if i were you i would atleast let them feel comfortable at home, so you can be close to her and can support her if she needs it.
2016-05-21 23:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs to be told that it is not cool anymore with you. You should bring it up to her attention or it may never stop. Sounds like she needs to grow up and take responsibility for herself and her daughter. However you bring it up to her she will probably be offended, because nobody likes to hear things that could be upsetting especially about themselves. I am 26 years old too, and I have 3 children.....I leave them with my parents on occasion. My partying days have been long gone. Good luck to you and your family.....I hope it works out for all of you.
2006-11-20 05:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by ♥just me♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her 9 year old daughter. She made her bed she needs to lie in it. Your parents already raised there children why do they need to raise the grand children too. She must of had her daughter at a young age. She needs to get a job and go to work to support her daughter and herself instead of being a free loader to Mom and Dad. She needs to get a job instead of running with her friends.
2006-11-20 05:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by red1967 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth and say it nicely.
tell her that she's to not use your name with your parents because you don't want to be lying to your parents. But if you don't mind then just tell her that she has to let you know what she's doing before she tells your parents.
Good luck
2006-11-20 05:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you don't like it that she wants to use you like that. Tell her it needs to stop, she's a grown adult and doesn't need anyone's permission to come and go as she pleases.
2006-11-20 05:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋