I've told an ex how I feel about him and he's adamant that we are never getting back together, I feel like my life has been ripped apart I've only lived for the past 5 years in the hope that one day we could have a romantic reunion and he has broke my heart again.
Why did I let this happen? Don't say an ex is an ex for a reason he is my only reason for living
2006-11-20 05:23:03 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just go out and meet another guy
2006-11-20 05:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how long were you together before the breakup? It can be very hard to get over an ex especially if there is history there. I don't know if you two have been intimate over the course of the last 5 years, but if you have I think that should stop.
Continuing with the emotional attachment that intamacy brings could be part of the problem with you letting go. Females feelings towards intimacy are different from most males (not all, but most). A kiss or intimate experience for a female can have a totally different meaning for a male.
I think you should try counseling. I did and I'm in such a healthier relationship now, with someone new. It helped to be able to talk to someone who had no knowledge of my past with the ex. She was impartial and didn't take sides the way most friends and family members do.
Good luck to you and I hope you find the strength to move on.
2006-11-20 13:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by aisha3821 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has been your ex for 5 years and you still can't get over him?!? Sweety, you have a problem. The good news is your problem has a solution.
What do you mean he is your only reason for your living? What was your reason for living before you met him? What did you do for fun? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who cares about you as much as you care about them? I know you deserve better and should too. He probably doesn't want to be with you for some reason or another but it's not the end of the world!!! You have to try to find activities you can indulge in that make you happy and that keep your mind off of him. Maybe you can join a group in your church or in your community. Is there something that you have been wanting to do for a long time but have been putting it off?? Well, now is the time. Try to keep yourself occupied and try meeting up with new people. To get over him faster share your feelings with a close friend or some sort of councilor who will help you get your feelings in check and in control. After that start being open to new people and new experiences and you'll get over him in no time.
There is life after a hard break-up with an ex, you just have to be hopeful and be willing to give it a try.
2006-11-20 13:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by luv 4 dogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. A man is your reason for living? That's sad. Maybe that's why you broke up. You need to become happy with yourself before you are in a relationship. It sounds like you don't respect yourself very much, so why should he?
I have two books that I recommend reading when going through a break-up:
1.) He's Just Not That Into You
2.) It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken
Both are really good books that make you realise that you desearve someone who wants you and only you. Forget the guy that doesn't want you.
Best of luck and I hope you start respecting yourself.
2006-11-20 13:27:59 · answer #4 · answered by GK2006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the problem is you've allowed yourself to focus on only this for 5 years. Of course it feels like your life is over! Nothing anyone says will make you feel better right now, but there are steps you can take to help. Talk to friends and family, or even a therapist or counselor about your feelings. Try to find meaning in other activities and people, not just through your ex. What kind of things were important to you before you dated him? Try to build up a strong support system around yourself so you'll become less dependent on him.
There are tons of resources online and also lots of uplifting reading materials. Check out my source too for some good tips.
2006-11-20 13:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by Em 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I separated from my ex 6 years ago and still think about her every day. It is tough to get over but its gets easier. I think the first thing you could do is just accept that its over. I know its hard but eventually you have to do it. Secondly, there are heaps of reasons to live, dont just live for a relationship or a possible reunion with him. Thirdly, you dont know what the future holds. In the big sceme of things, humans are on this planet for a milli-second. Theres plenty of time to die latter (like when your 85). In the meantime, you have already created a special relationship (although it has ended), now go create another one, one that is better, and one that can last.
2006-11-20 13:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by sunline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, i think the only thing you can do is learn to let go, although you find it really difficult as it has been 5 yrs but going on with him will only pull you down further..I know no matter what is said now you are still in love with him...there's this saying that I had like to share with you, hopefully you feel better about it...it's his lost for losing a person who loves him so much and it's your gain as you lost someone who doesn't really love you...you should try to fill your life with things and slowly get rid of him from your life, I'm sure someone else who has much respect and loves you very much will come along your way and when he sees that guy having you in his arm...he will be jealous with envy!Go pursue things you had always wanted, you should try challenging activities...as it can help take your mind of things really fast..Good luck!
2006-11-20 13:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Shining StaR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me first tell you that you are not idiot. You have deep feels for him still. And the hardest thing for some people to do is letting go. You ex-boyfriend has moved on with his life and so should you. You need to let go and focus on what ahead of you (LIFE). Take it from personal experience I still think of my ex from time to time but I have moved with my life and so should you. I have blessed with a great girl and we have been together for over 5 years. You will find someone who will like you for the type of person you are and you will find happiness too. Last thing don't look for it, he will find you. Hang in there, stop crying and being up set. Put a smile on your face. O.K.
2006-11-20 13:34:02 · answer #8 · answered by angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man is any woman's reason for living!!!!!! There's more to life than a man who doesn't love you or appreciate you. How about children, your family, your friends, your happiness, your health, beautiful flowers, children laughing, dogs playing in the park, etc, etc. Break-ups are always hard, but it's time to let your heart heal and get over the past. You could have a bright future if you could let go and let yourself believe you are worth love, attention, adoration and a life.
2006-11-20 13:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five Years! -- You're in love with an imaginary figure -- Its easy to idealize an unattainable and distant figure -- You've got to break that mindset and realize that besides being unavailable, that guy you idealize and think is your only reason for living is no more real than a soap opera or a movie character. He is not even close to being to person you think he is. If you had daily contact with the real him instead of an imaginary one, you'd get a biiiiiig eye-opener.
Do yourself a huge favour and get back in touch with reality and with real people. You can' t have him or, while were at it, Tom Cruise, George Clooney or Brad Pitt for that matter. You're wasting your life away.
(Ahhhh, youth... its wasted on the young...)
2006-11-20 13:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by Zee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! 5 years! I admire that! If this was your first true love then understandable. How could you live for the past 5 years hoping to reunite with him? Why only 'live' for him? To hold on for 5 years tells me that you have a lot of passion. Why don't you hold on to the memories you shared with him and 'live' for life? Live for you and the experiences that come with living. This here is and experience for you, not something to live for but live through. Don't worry, you will never find or share the same love you had for your ex. But you do need to love yourself to live for you. =)
2006-11-20 13:36:30 · answer #11 · answered by Starjarus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋