I'm a stay at home mom and people are always telling me that i'm making things hard for my son by not letting him stay any where else besides at our home......
2006-11-20 05:04:14 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hi Sweetie..Finally I meet someone like myself and my husband. We don't let our son stay anywhere and he is now 27 months old. The first time any one baby sat for him in our home was my mother and only because I went into labor with our other child and had to go to the hospital and it was on;y for a few hours. We like knowing where our children are at at all times and we can check on them when we want. We look at it this way until they are old enough to understand and speak well enough to tell you their needs...like I'm sick , hungry or tired and even then will will probably still wait a few more years from now. There is nothing wrong with loving and protecting and watching over your son. You are GREAT parents!!
2006-11-20 05:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by mary3127 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would ask WHY you're not letting your son stay overnight? Is it just because you haven't had a need to yet? Is it because they live so far away it's inconvenient? Are his grandparents criminals? Things like that, I'd say are valid.
But, if you're doing it because *you* have control and/or separation issues or something, then I'd say it's a bad thing. One question I have is at what age you'll allow your son to stay overnight somewhere? If it's a reasonable age (3), I wouldn't worry about it. If your answer is 10, I'd be a bit worried.
I'm a SAHM as well (well, I work part time, but my baby comes with me...no day care or nanny or anything). So, she's usually with me 24/7.
That being said, I started staying overnight at the grandparents when I was a month old. My in-laws just took our 4 1/2 month old for the weekend (Thurs-Mon) when we had to attend an out of state military function. It was a very nice break, and Katie was very happy and healthy when I picked her up. Obviously, my mind-set is different than yours, but, like I said, if you're not CRAZY about it, it's probably not a problem.
2006-11-20 12:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by katheek77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a bad thing at all. I'm also a sahm. As for begging people to take the kids once you have more then one I have a 34 month old and a 7 month old that don't sleep over anywhere unless either I am there or my husband and I are there. My daughter had one sleepover alone at my in-laws when I was in the hospital giving birth to my son but none since. I don't care if people think she's too attached to me. She just started nursery this year and she's fine. She's a healthy well adjusted toddler and and far as I'm concerned that's all that matters. Enjoy your baby while he is little. That's just my opinion...
2006-11-20 05:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's your child...you can make whatever decisions for him that you want. You can do whatever you think is best. This hit a nerve because I was just thinking this morning how my sisters-in-law like to tell me things about my son. They don't even have kids. When they have gone through the 9 months of pregnancy, dealt with swollen ankles and stretch marks, squeezed something the size of a watermelon out of THEIR vaginas, and gotten up 3 times a night to feed a hungry baby, THEN they can give advice. LOL! Same thing with you...if you want don't want your son to stay anywhere, then don't let him stay anywhere. I'm a SAHM too and it's hard for me to let go. I'm sure when your son is older he will want to stay with grandma and grandpa, but until then I think you're doing just fine! I wouldn't send my son to my sister-in-laws!!!
2006-11-20 05:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by pineapple_petals 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, absolutely not! He is just a baby. When he gets a little older he will probably want to stay over at his grandparents and if he does give it a try if you are comfortable entrusting him in their care. If not, why force him?
I have a 7-year-old daughter and she likes to sleep over at her grandparents' house, but nowhere else. She has gone to a friend's house for a sleepover, but I ended up going back to get her a few hours later because she missed me. The general consensus of my friends with kids the same age is that they are still too young and that their kids miss them too much to enjoy sleepovers. My oldest daughter didn't really go to sleepovers until she was 9 or 10 -- so I certainly don't think your son should be expected to enjoy sleepovers.
2006-11-20 05:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by WonderWoman 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's your personal choice. and I don't think you're wrong for doing it. You're not alone as well. I have an 18 month old and so does my closest friend and neither of us let them sleep over at people's houses.
You're also not harming him by doing it. I've spoken to my pediatrician about it and she said that there's nothing wrong with keeping her home. If anything its beneficial cause it keeps them in a routine.
I've been told by my parents and sister that I'm making things hard on my daughter too... that I'm being too over protective and sheltering her too much. that when she gets older she'll have a hard time with sleepovers and stuff. My response to that is that I'm her parent, it's my decision, it's my job to protect her, I'll decide when I'm being overly protective.. (but I think that until she's a teen or pre-teen, there's no such thing as being overprotective). When she expresses to me that she wants to sleep at her grandparents or aunts house, then I'll consider it.
Also, We let my stepdaughter sleep over and grandparents and at a family friends house when she was really young, and she still got homesick at sleepovers when she got older.
2006-11-20 05:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by lv82 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? What do your instincts tell you?
Your child belongs with you and only you. Don't be stupid.
It's not a dog where you can get a pet sitter. Your child needs its primary caregiver close by always at least for the first 3 years which are the most important. It's as simple as that. If you give in to the BS people are telling you, you will live to have regrets.
2006-11-20 06:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Logicnreason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your always going to find someone that says you need to do this and that with your kids. I have had people tell me that about my kids, but now they are 9, 7 and 3 and perfectly normal socially, etc. I have never let them stay anywhere overnight except if I had an emergency.
2006-11-20 05:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by Blondi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I NEVER let my kids stay anywhere overnight but at home. He can be social during the day. I am just over protective with them. It never hurt them socially. They were probably 8 to 10 years old before I let them stay anywhere. But thats me.
2006-11-20 05:55:46 · answer #9 · answered by Chicago Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an 18 month old daughter who has never spent the night away from me. tell others to mind their own business, you are doing what is right for your son, and there is no reason why he should be spending nights away from you anyway...
I have never given a second thought to my daughter not having spent the night elsewhere, I have never seen the need to do this.
2006-11-20 05:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋