how come when i ask him if he still wants to be with me or if we're over he says" i dont want to have this conversation....i don't want to stress right now'? but there's no more affection and theres no more making love, it's just sex. We don't really talk on the phone anymore. And we hardly go any where when we hang out we stay in and watch tv. he still says he loves me and he still happy with me every once in a while, we still make eachother smile. When i'm not getting on his nerves< i don't know what i do>Do just let go a four year relationship go over this...I mean he doesn't want to talk about it. It's always i dont want to talk about this or don't stress me out!
2006-11-20 04:42:10 · 19 answers · asked by NuNu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow this is a hard situation. If he doesn't want to talk about it then your relationship will just stay the same. It sounds to me like he likes the way things are and if it can't stay that way then he wants out. He doesn't know how to end it so he keeps putting the conversation off. You have two choices. Accept the relationship the way it is, which I personally wouldn't do or end the relationship and move on. I know it will be hard to end, but is this the kind of relationship you want?
2006-11-20 04:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Glee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say and I don't want to upset you. He is confused and probably wants out of the relationship but doesn't want to hurt you. That's where the just having sex and not making love comes in. Is that what you want for the rest of your life? To settle for a relationship like this? When you can find a guy who will hold you and love you. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. Let him off the hook. Beat him to the punch. Tell him he's stressing you more than he knows so you thought it would be a good idea to take a break. Remember NO crying until you are alone. That's if you feel like it at all. Never let them see you cry. Tell him the relationship isn't what it was and maybe time apart will help it. It's worth a try.
2006-11-20 12:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by winter715 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. All the affection and spark was gone. Sometimes he would act like everything was fine, the next he would be annoyed and said I was getting on his nerves, even if I did nothing to make him feel that way. He would seem cold. I was in this relationship for 12 years.
Sounds like it is over, you should move on or as time goes by it will be harder and harder to leave. Sometimes after a while you just realize that this is not what you want. You want to be happy and there are relationships that could last forever like that.
2006-11-20 12:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not moving towards marriage after 4 years, this sounds like it's over and done. It's not the quantity of years, it's the quality. Why cling to something that's no longer working, if there's no affection, no making love, no going out, and so much nervous tension and stress? How many more years of that do you want?
2006-11-20 12:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's over. Go and start your own life because you don't need to stay in a "dead-end" relationship. You yourself said all you're having is sex, no dating and no affection. ITS OVER. He's not grown up enough to tell you and is leaving you hanging on to see if his new "friend" works out. Yes he's probably got another girlfriend.
2006-11-20 12:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by purrfectkitty73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 4 years it seems to get boring. try new things to make it exciting. go on a vacation together or make "bed-time" more interesting. this will help keep some lust going.
you actually sound a lot like my wife. we have been together for about 4 years now and she blamed her boring life on me. she wanted to go out with friends and stuff like that. well it lead to her having an affair. i don't blame myself for that, but i did learn some things from it.
it sounds like he is just comfortable in the relationship. don't take it bad. if he wanted to leave you he would. you sound like a married couple. accept the next step in your relationship.
2006-11-20 12:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by asslpman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a bump in the road. It sounds like he has a lot on his mind right now and does not want to have to worry about what's going on with you, too. Maybe see if he would like to talk. Good Luck.
2006-11-20 12:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he tries to have sex with you next time...stop. Tell him that when he is in a relaxed enough mood to talk about your relationship, that is when he will be relaxed enough for gooood sex. Until then, you are willing to wait. And then wait...either he will break up or make up. One way or the other, you will be better off.
2006-11-20 12:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by not 30 yet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let him know that this is something that concerns us and that you want to know what he thinks. Let him know that if he loves you that he will tell you his feelings or at least show them. Let him know how you are feeling about all of this, just like you did on here
2006-11-20 12:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone tells you that they don't want to talk about a certain thing that you do want to talk about they don't love you. Maybe he is with you because he is used to being with you.
All the details you gave reveal that there is no love.
2006-11-20 12:45:50 · answer #10 · answered by CharWiz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋