In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
2006-11-20 04:27:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
very funny lol,
still gutted i didnt get best answer for your 12 questions though!!
still waiting for first
2006-11-20 04:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Packet of Nuts bought in a pub Warning, Package MAY contain nuts
2006-11-20 04:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most common causes of hemorrhoids are straining during bowel movements and obesity. Follow these essential hemorrhoid prevention tips and you may not even have to delve into any hemorrhoid treatments https://tr.im/pveh4
If you’re straining during bowel movements, there is no doubt that you are suffering from constipation, and obesity only heightens your chance of experiencing these digestive issues. The best solution for hemorrhoids is to not have them at all!
2016-05-01 23:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a pack of peanuts and where it had allergy advice it said may contain nuts!now that is dumb!they gotta put it on there though aint they coz sum dumbo will probably try and sue them,like on bottles of drink,it says open by hand,i mean how else would u open it.
2006-11-20 04:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great stuff, even though some of them are old. I especially laughed at 15 and 20.
2006-11-20 05:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody soo sue happy. Now we must be treated for stupid.
2006-11-20 04:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by thiscrossibear_lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
19 is a good one. 25 is a bit worrying!!! :o)
2006-11-20 04:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by Supersammy :o) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent.
Another one is;
On bottled water - SUITABLE FOR VEGETARIANS
2006-11-20 04:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are cute!
Thanks for the laugh! :)
2006-11-20 04:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world has gone mad!!
2006-11-20 04:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Ally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋