I can tell, and she does this to everyone even her husband. I have a 2 yr old and she asked what he wanted for his birthday and other ocassions and she gets something that just takes up space. My son likes Thomas the train, but they insist on buying Bob the builder since my father in law is a general contractor. My son never plays with it, he just gets excitied because he sees a box, he wants me to open it and then it's something he doesn't like. I've got a house full off toys from them he never uses. Can I donate toys to a place where children can actually play with them, that are opened? What do I do about my mother in law ignoring us when she asks us how our day was, or just questions in general?
2006-11-20 04:27:07 · 18 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
What is the point to let them buy whatever they want? So I can feel bad when I get rid of the toys that my son doesn't like? I make suggestions, it should be atleast close to a train or something.
2006-11-20 09:43:05 · update #1
you can give the toys to good will. and as for your mother in law. why don't you start asking her things. like remeber what i told you yesterday about the "thing" what do you think i should do about that? this way she feels like she should start paying attention when you catch her off guard. good luck.
2006-11-20 04:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be grateful your in laws love your kids enough to buy them anything. I have seen situations where the kids are virtually outcast by the in laws, your children appear to have grandparents that love them enough to buy them things and spend time with them.
As for the toys that are not being played with. Keep 1 or 2 and encourage your child to at least play with when the grandparents are around. Donate the rest of them. Goodwill, Salvation Army, even church daycares and Head Start would look at accepting these donations. Most would be very grateful for your generosity.
And for the not listening. Many people have the problem of asking a question to open the conversation so that they can put in their two cents. As I would guess your MIL is no spring chicken, you probably won't be able to change her. But you can change the way you feel about it. Just realize this is her way, and ignore it. If she asks you how your day is, tell her "Fine" then let her ramble on. After a minute or so, say "oops, I gotta go get my 2 yr old off the table" and walk away.
She may end up asking you why you are "not listening" and then in a polite, direct, non-accusatory manner, you can tell her that you have felt the same way whenever you talk to her for years. Then offer to pay more attention, if she can try to too.
Good luck. And just know, no matter how bad your MIL, there are always more out there that are SOOOOOOOOOOOO much worse.
2006-11-20 04:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by Gem 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a possible solution. When you are asked by your in-laws about a gift for your son, suggest a gift certificate for a store that sells toys and clothes. Tell your mother-in-law that this way is easier for everyone involved. You can take your son to choose his own toys (at least that's what you tell her), then purchase what you think is right for him.
About donating toys that are opened, I know at this time of year there are organizations that are requesting toys for children who would otherwise not get any. I believe one group is the U. S. Marine Core "Toys for Tots" campaign.
Good luck.
2006-11-20 04:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not a big problem, she has good intentions. Next time ask her to give a savings bond. Tell her that the toys are a waste of money because the kids get tired of the toys fast. Also tell her that when he is older and can cash the savings bond, he will really appreciate the grandparents.
2006-11-20 04:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by observer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she use the internet, e-mail her a message. Write her a letter and notes. This way your mother and law can get the message over and over again and your thoughts, needs and wants will be communicated effectively. why don't you try writing "little mike would like to have, needs, or could appreciate XXX for christmas/his birthday. I would just donate the toys to the salvation army at christmas time (open or not) they redistrubute these toys at christmas to needey families.
2006-11-20 05:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st, welcome to the land of in-laws! They do what they want whenever they want (kinda comes with the title). Also, if this is your only problem with them thus far, relax! It's not that bad, trust me! And I didn't hear you mention that you've tried to explain that you are probably just going to donate the toys they purchase, so maybe they should go for something neutral like clothing. And of course you can donate the toys someplace, look up your local non-profits that benefit children.
2006-11-20 04:32:01 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoo! Answers Chic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The woman isn't going to change her behavior at this point in her life. All you can do is deal with it.
What you might do is either exchange/return the gifts and get your son some Thomas items, or you can always put the opened ones that he doesn't like/use on Freecycle, just to get them out of your house.
2006-11-20 04:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by Bob S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd take them to the nearest children's hospital and donate them. Next time your mother in law asks where the toys are, tell her that your son doesn't like them, he likes Thomas the Tank. He showed no interest in the Bob The Builder ones so you didn't want to see them going to waste. If she gets upset simply tell her that you had informed her about it previously.
2006-11-20 04:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jamyle 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Swap the TOYS you have for the TOYS you want. Clean out those closets and toy boxes.
As for your mother-in-law ignoring her you can try ignoring her back. Let your husband deal with her and tell her that the toys she sends are appreciated but unused so perhaps gift cards would be better. Good luck.
2006-11-20 04:38:07 · answer #9 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem....my mother in law is always calling me and asking me "what the little man is up to" I am literally sick of it....and not to mention that I cannot drive by her neighborhood without her questioning why I didn't stop....she always wants to watch our son, but she really is not capable....she didn't hardly play a part in raising my husband and now she is trying to be grandmother of the year.....I haven't really been able to enjoy my son as much as I could have had she not been in the picture...I dont know about you??? She is also, annoying about buying stuff that my son does not need....she wont buy him diapers or milk she wants to buy him clothes that I personally think are hidious...and I try to make excuses about them not fitting or something but, I have to give in once in a while....I asked my mom if she had this problem with her mother in law and she said no....so I guess I just got lucky...yeah right!!!! My advice to you is to just try and ignore her....thats what I do....I find myself playing dumb 99% of the time...she probably feels like a genius compared to me!hahHA
2006-11-20 04:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by YOUKNOWYOUWANNAKNOW 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋