I believe in God, have faith but I do not want to get involved with any kind of religious institution...How can I approach this dilemma with my girlfriend without hurting her feelings or even how can I make sure she does not become a religious fanatic. I have heard this church she wants to join has these especial "rules" you have to follow. Oh God, help!
2006-11-20 04:21:08 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have your faith and she has hers. God doesn't alienate family.
2006-11-20 04:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by thiscrossibear_lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, be honest with her, and tell her how you feel. You cannot prevent her from becoming more involved, and neither can she change you. Just because you are in love, does not mean you should marry the other person. In marriage, you want the best for each other, and for your partner to become the best person they were meant to be. This should also be your goal in dating. If she is moving in a direction you do not want to go, talk about it, and decide if you can live with it. Marriage is hard enough as it is, without having major religious differences. If you are truly meant to be for each other, things will work out. If they do not, recognize the fact, appreciate the time you have had together, and move on.
2006-11-20 04:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Ed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone who goes to church is a fanatic. I would say that a high percentage of people that go to church on Sundays are what you would be. Somebody who believes in god but beyond that is probably only in church because somebody dragged them there. If she wants to join a church you should really stay out of it and not discourage her. If she isn't asking you to go with you have no say. But if you are worried that the church she's looking at isn't the one, maybe you should suggest that she check out a couple of them.
Ragging on a girlfriend for wanting to go to church might be up there on the list of fastest ways to lose a girlfriend.
2006-11-20 04:27:53 · answer #3 · answered by Martin H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All faiths have tenets to follow, that's what separates the religions.
If you embrace a faith, it doesn't necessarily make you a fanatic, however, it can lead to a life better led.
Why would you try to change the religious beliefs of someone you care for?
Catholics are different from Baptists, are different from Lutherans, etc., etc..
It sounds more like you don't understand as much as she does.
It also seems that you just don't want to devote the time to faith based activities.
2006-11-20 04:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you will go once and then go on a church up tour of a bunch of churchs if you are anywhere near San Francisco go to Glide Memorial and see Cecil Williams or Pastor Doug and if you want an open minded church you will dig it
Church is good, God is Good Orderly Direction
Fanatics suck though
2006-11-20 04:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by inmatters 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to have an honest discussion about it. Just make sure she understands you are not interested in joining church, and you are sorry if that may upset her, but that is how you truly feel. At my church, the majority of the congregation is women - most of whom are married, but their husbands stay home. The majority of the men in the church or Preachers or Deacons, not too many are come every Sunday members only.
2006-11-20 04:24:50 · answer #6 · answered by GirlUdontKnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, there is nothing wrong with joining a church. If she's into it, and becomes a hard core Christian, then I'm sorry, but you're not. You sound like you're on the fence with God, and as much as society says that's ok, it's not. There's no middle line with God. You either are a christian or you aren't. It's one thing to say "I believe in God and blahblahblah", but God knows what's in your heart. In this relationship, you'll be unevenly yoked, and it'll never work. Sorry, but it won't.
2006-11-20 04:26:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell exactly what you have typed here. Tell her you aren't trying to hurt her feelings but this isn't something you want to do. Tell her you will visit the church with her. You just don't up and join a church until you know what it is about or if you even like it.
2006-11-20 04:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by HotMommi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to choose how you practice religion, if you choose to at all. She shouldnt make you do it or make you feel guilty for not doing it.
I dont know what kinda 'rules' this church has, but you when you start seeing big changes in her, a problem may be brewing.
2006-11-20 04:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the big deal if she joins, it doesn't mean that you have to just because she is.... Make it clear up front that you wont be going with her but don't try and stop her from what she wants to do....
2006-11-20 04:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋