Should I adopt?

Question

I just turned 22 and have a 2yr old son. Yes, I am a single parent but I have a strong urge to adopt a playmate for my son. I have already talked to my mother about it and she says its a good idea. But I would like to get other opinions. Do you think its wise for a young, single parent to adopt a child? I do plan on getting married in the future.

*Obviously I wouldnt be thinking about adoption if money was an issue....not too sure why some of think that I would be "allowed" to adopt a child. I live in Texas...a crack head could adopt a child as long as they bring home 10k.

Answer 1

Go for it! When I had my son at 23, I was a single parent and I decided that I wanted to adopt another when he turned 2. I didn't end up adopting, but I took another option - fostering. I would suggest that you try this option first, to see how it would be to actually be a parent of 2 children. Fostering gives you the option of an older child or younger and can lead to adoption, if wanted. The only negative aspect is if a child is in your home for a long period, you can become attached if they have to return. Think about it . . .

Answer 2

I think it's wonderful that you'd like to adopt, but I'm not sure your reasoning is the best in the world. To give a child a loving home, or to open your hear to a new child is one thing - to garner a "playmate" for the child you already have shouldn't be your main reason for adopting.

Also, the reason people are concerned about you being "allowed" to adopt is because the adoption process is difficult and grueling...they do not just "give" babies to people, as you implied. People are just trying to offer you advice and tell you the reality of adoption.

Think hard about this, and make sure you are doing it for the *right* reasons and that you are prepared to go through the long and difficult task of adoption.

Answer 3

You are very young, and there is a lot of life ahead of you. A single Mom of 2 is a huge job (as it is with 1) Kids do not "need" playmates, they need nurturing and security and time with their parents. If you want him to have a playmate, join a playgroup or get a puppy. Adopting is a wonderful thing, but so is being the best Mom you can be to your son. I think you should give it a bit more time, be a good Mom, maybe meet your life partner, and then make the decision to expand your family together. You are very young, you have nothing but time.

Answer 4

I think adoption is always a great idea. In fact my husband and I have talked seriously about adopting a child, but in the state that we live, you have to be married, and be married at least 3 years. Since we have only been married for 2 years, we will have to wait. I personally don't see anything wrong with a single parent adopting a child because in my opinion, it's better than being stuck in foster care or orphanages. I think adoption laws are too strict! Anyway, I would check your state laws before making any decisions.

Answer 5

Adoption is a highly expensive and emotionally taxing process. Babies especially are in extremely high demand in this country due to a lot of couples finding themselves infertile by the time they wish to become parents. This makes for a lot of competition. You're going to be evaluated on grueling economic, spiritual, and emotional levels and you're going to have the competition of all the other married couples wanting to adopt. You'll really have to stand out enough for either the adoption agency to choose you or for the birth mother to choose you out of all the other married hopefuls.

It is not that I think it unwise, it is that I think it will be extremely difficult. Adopting a baby is so competitive that a young unmarried woman who is not infertile and already has a child will have a hard time not only getting chosen to adopt, but also staying tough emotionally throughout the whole process.

Adopting out of the country or adopting an older child is less competitive, but still comes with its unique set of difficulties.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

That's your main reason? To have a playmate for your son. Sorry, but that's definitely not a good reason for adopting and I'm surprised that your mother thinks it's a good idea. Are you currently in a relationship? I really don't think your idea is a wise one whatsoever unless you are ridiculously wealthy and have the time to devote to another child. And I doubt that any serious adoption agency would be willing to consider your adoption request.

Answer 7

i think its a good idea but your not just adopting a playmate for your son your adopting a child so you could prevent them with love and care, give them a stable home and better a future...i'm in school now and when i graduate (i'm also a single parent raising a 6yo) and get my career rolling i would seriously look forward to adopting i worked a girls group home and saw the worst a mother could do to her child(ren) and i wanted to open my heart to all of them...but they need alot of help and love...so be prepared to give up alot and recieve alot.

Answer 8

If you can afford it (very expensive) and are a good mother.. it's not a bad idea. Not all places are going to give a 22yo single mom a baby. Also- a child is not just a playmate it's a person and I agree with the above poster- your handle doesn't scream "responsible"

Answer 9

Bad reason to adopt #1: To find a playmate for your other children.

That's the wrong reason and I hate to tell you but it takes some time to adopt. They just dont hand over a child.

Answer 10

no way // u have a big responsibility with the one you have / how can u handle 2 and the costs and the extra time