My family has done and said some unforgivable and unforgettable things to me and about me ever since I was a child. I have tried my entire life to not listen and believe this stuff but they now have included my kids and they certainly haven't done anything to anyone. It was bad enough when they do it to me and I tried to forgive them and still be a loyal family member but my kids simply because they are My kids? The insults, criticisms, putdowns and I guess the last straw is when they turned me and my children away and told us to stay in a shelter after we lost my husband-their father and our home due to unexpected, sudden funeral expenses and loss of income. They call themselves baptized in church but act like this. Sometimes I think I am crazy and wrong for thinking why are they doing this? I don't drink, smoke, do drugs and I was married to my husband for 26 years. I am 48 years old and have worked 25 of those years. I ask God why do they do this? Strangers are nicer and kinder!
2006-11-20 04:05:25 · 7 answers · asked by phyllis_gene_levy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's the old saying that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. I think that saying is a bunch of crap. I have "picked" my family. The fact is that anyone who doesn't add value to your life or that you can't share with doesn't need to be in your life.
It took years of putting up with siblings abuse before I told them that I am done with them. It's been 6 years since I've spoken a word to my sister. And the truth of it is that I'm much happier because of it.
2006-11-20 04:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for you!! give it up. they will never change and you and your kids certainly don't deserve this treatment. i know not knowing why they are doing this to you must drive you crazy! sometimes people are just bad, no reasons that anyone could see. they go to church? they do not act christian!!! find your own family. you sound like a great person, people love you! friends can be a bigger blessing than some families and in your case that's definitely true! in fact i think the only thing they have done for you is giving you life. be thankful for that and move on. honor your father and mother, yes. but it says nowhere that you need to let them hurt you. you can honor them from afar, where they can't hurt you anymore. my heart goes out to you and i hope you can do what's best for you and your children. you've been through enough.
2006-11-20 04:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You apparently cannot change them. All you can do at this point is do your best to get away from them. Get yourself together and move. Im assuming you are living with them because of your problems. Very sorry about your loss, BTW. When you do find another place to live, cut them off. Its bad enough the way you had to grow up. Your children have been through enough losing thier father. They dont need the family treating them this way.
You shouldnt try to hold the family together at the expense of your children.
2006-11-20 04:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just lately, after my last family reunion, I have finely accepted that I will never be able to be what my family wants.
I am a bartender, by trade, not a admirable career, but I have fun and it pays all of my bills.
I will never be able to fill my older sibling's shoes. The career, family, house, car, and debt. My father is so proud of him, yet my brother is so fake, unhappy, and your cookie-cutter basic.
I am 32 years old, unmarried, but living happily with a good man, who treats me great. No kids, just a cat and an apt, economical car. Making day to day.
My father would not even make eye contact with me and really put me down in front of my distant relatives.
My whole life I've struggled to please Daddy. When I tried to swing his way, I was really an unhappy person.
My man, finally helped me realize this and I am so over it.
I love my father, but I don't have that constant feeling of never living up to his standards. He has to accept me for who I am or not at all.
I find my "other family" to be with my friends or my customers, or other socially unaccepted orphans. They are my family.
2006-11-20 04:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by Allison M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was abused in all kinds of ways from ppl in my family once I got married and had children of my own,I decided to protect them, and break the cycle,so i DO Not associate with those ppl or allow my children around them.And I agree family can hurt you worse than strangers.
2006-11-20 04:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break the cycle and move away from them, your children come first protect them from the abusive behavior, they don't deserve to be treated like that either. Move away and have no contact with them, you and your children will be much happier and your family will never change, trust me I know
2006-11-20 05:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family mistreats me due to I am not like them. I don't my associates before them. Also, my career in the government sector is blooming, have multiple college degrees, part of women's auxillary and etc. They like to party, drink, gossip and etc. They turn their noses up at me like I am the problem. They even ruined my 40th birthday party. I told myself that I need to save more money and move far away from these clowns. I continue to live a peaceful.
2017-04-05 13:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋