I've been having problems with my 4 year old boy for about a month now. He has really been acting up at daycare and I just can't figure it out. The ladies at daycare say that he is a really good boy for the most part, but when he gets a time-out, he turns into a monster. He kicks and screams like crazy! I called today to check in on him and he was in time-out. I could hear him through the phone! His teacher put him on the phone and I told him to calm down and sit in time out like a good boy. I just don't know what to do. We've tried taking things away..time outs at home are never like they are at daycare. At home, he sits quietly until I tell him he can get up. What else can I do? I've told him that the best thing to do is just to be good so that he doesn't get time-out. I work an hour from home, so I can't just drop in and check on him during the day. Please help!! He's normally such a good boy, I just don't get it.
2006-11-20 03:50:35 · 12 answers · asked by Justinsmom 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Most if not all of his time-outs are because of hitting or puching the other kids. I've asked him why he does it, and he tells me that he gets mad at them. I've tried telling him that he should tell his teacher when someone upsets him instead of hitting or pushing. Is this something that every little one does at some time or another?
2006-11-20 04:16:00 · update #1
I'm starting to think that some of the proble, may be his new teacher. They just don't click. I've only got 4 other options for daycare in this little town....I've called all of them and I'm going to take Justin to 2 of them this evening. Wish us luck!
2006-11-20 05:29:20 · update #2
It sounds like he may be somewhat bored at daycare and they need to challenge him more. Also, if they are saying what a good boy he is, then why are they putting him in time outs? Are they being fair when putting him on time out? He may be acting out due to thinking that they are punishing him for something he does not think he should be punished for.
Good luck
2006-11-20 03:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by JeWelz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok.... when you said that he has a new teacher... that explained a lot to me right there. If his teacher is new... he has not established that respect and trust with her... YET. So he is testing her limits (to the max by the sounds of things). You may find that this teacher is stricter than the one he had before, and he is getting pulled up more regularly/consistently than previously, therefore the boundaries that he was used to at daycare have changed. You may find that by changing centres will not change this issue, particularly if he gets another teacher who is strict as well.
From a teachers perspective, I believe that it needs to be given a little more time.... and that your son will learn the boundaries that the new teacher has set.... and also it will give time for the teacher and your son to establish a relationship... I have been in this exact situation (but as a teacher, rather than a parent) and it does take time... but with consistency a happy medium is reached. The inappropriate behaviour diminishes (and it is inappropriate behaviour for a 4 yr old.. unless he has a speech/language disorder or other developmental delay) and a solid relationship is formed.
No parent wants to hear that their child is screaming like crazy (to quote you) but obviously he doesnt like it.... so I think that he is already starting to make the transition to understanding the consequences of his actions in this situation.
One thing I would talk to the teacher about... is whether they are setting up a system to reward the positive behaviour that he displays, so that he is also getting positive experiences with this teacher. Also group times could be organised to talk about/role play what to do when children make each other mad etc. If these things are occuring, then I strongly believe it will only be a matter of time (and not too long) before things do settle down.
I wish you luck whatever you decide to do.
2006-11-20 15:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by spinksy2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl I have the same problem with my 4 year old son. At his day care all day long he has tested the limits with his teachers but there is no other way I can explain this to you don't listen to the other people that says that you should spank him that never solves any thing. If any thing I have a treat system going on, I use hostess twinkies as a reward for his good behavior in school, or you could let him go out side and play in the yard all day after schooluntil dinner time and every time that he acts bad in class no outside no tinkies. It might work I might not work give that a try.
2006-11-20 12:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by dncnlksh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem can have several parts to it. How long has he been in daycare? Is there any other person that used to care for him when you couldn't? If so, had he been taking time-outs cooperatively when in their care? Is there any other person besides you that he will sit silently through a time-out with? These all play key parts in why he acts the way he does during time-outs at the daycare. Perhaps I can tell you why, or at least point you in the right direction. E-mail me with the answers...
[blackangel4188@yahoo.com]
2006-11-20 12:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Black Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen some friends go through this when their children were showing early signs of ADHD. Kids will also act out this way if something else is bothering them, like an adult mistreating them, for example. You may even try a child psychologist, who would know very well the right questions to ask him. Good luck :-)
2006-11-20 12:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by SusieDe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't really answer your question but my 2 year old son has been acting up alot lately, hitting me, his dad and some of the children at his nursery. We do not spank him so i have no idea were he gets the hitting from. We have just moved house and he only started nursery 2 months ago, so i think it has all been a bit too much for him. Have you moved house or maybe a big change going on in his life?
Anyways good luck Leanne
2006-11-20 12:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is either srceaming because he wants to get more attention, or because he is angry at somebody at the daycare and thats the time to let it out, or its something else, in any case you know something is wrong. Thats why my friend just changed the daycare where her son was having problems and now he is fine.
Good Luck!
2006-11-20 12:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by salome 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess would be that it gets him attention to get out of time outs. If the daycare gives in or calls you it's both the same, because someone is giving him his way. So he wins, you lose.
2006-11-20 12:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Hootcoot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure whatit is, but it could be that he doesn't feel his time out is justified. Can you find out if he's getting punished for something that you normally allow, For example maybe he's allowed to open the cupboards at home to get something, but isn't allowed to do so at school. Otherwise he may be sensitive and feel getting punished in public is humiliating rather than humbling and he may need to have a privelage removed rather than have to sit in time out in public.
2006-11-20 11:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why either..but I know I would be making it my mission to find out. If a childs behaviour changes so radically it is for a reason...and that is what you need to discover..especially since he doesnt act like that at home.
2006-11-20 12:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋