hi every one,am luis i live in florida.i like to play somethings and i like to play so much that i get so tired and then i go to the pool and never get out becausse i like it so much that i can live in it
2006-11-20 03:36:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
no not that
2006-11-20 03:38:48 · update #1
fixed paragraph
Hi everyone, I am Luis. I live in Florida. I like to play sometimes, but I like to play so much, that I get tired. Then, I go to the pool. I don't ever want to get out because I like it so much, I could live in it.
Your major flaw, is that you can't live in a pool.
2006-11-20 03:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by maconheira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, this is my version. Too many "ands" though.
Hi everyone, I am Luis and I live in Florida. I like to play some things and I like to play so much that I get so tired and then I go to the pool and never get out because I like it so much that I can live in it.
2006-11-20 03:42:51 · answer #2 · answered by pachequito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi every one,am luis i live in florida.i like to play somethings and i like to play so much that i get so tired and then i go to the pool and never get out becausse i like it so much that i can live in it
-------------------------
this is how I corrected it:
Hi everyone! My name is Luis, and I live in Florida. I like to play some things, and I like to play so much that I get so tired. Then, I go to the pool, and I never get out because I like it so much that I can live in it.
^you can't live in a pool ;)
2006-11-20 03:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Yanks4Life23519 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it probably should be:
Hi every one, I am luis. I live in Florida. I like to play sometimes, but I like to play so much that I get so tired; then, I go to the pool and never get out because I like it so much that I can live in it.
2006-11-20 03:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no longer something incorrect with the paragraph. the lack of the consonant 'e' does not sign up because it having a difficulty. that's that style thinking that supplies _)*(^$+)(#$&%#$9 a bad call.
2016-10-04 04:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by boland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every one_everyone
i am luis
becausse-because
full stop
2006-11-20 03:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by laura 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the better question would be, "what isn't wrong with it?"
Capitalize the first word of every sentence, and the word "I."
Learn to use a comma.
Indent the first word of your parapaph.
"Because" is spelled with one "s."
2006-11-20 03:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by smartee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you need to learn English my friend. That paraghaph is a shame! Find a good teacher and good luck!
2006-11-20 03:46:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luis? Please take some english lessons if you want to stay in America. Your rambling, boring statement is confusing.
2006-11-20 03:39:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't live in a pool
2006-11-20 03:40:30 · answer #10 · answered by YoMamma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋