I have been dating this man for 9 months now, but from day one he has checked my phone log, emails and is always suspicous of me, even though I am a woman who is of strong virtue. He has terrible mood swings and is extremely needy. I feel empty inside and am not in love with him any longer.I know that it is time to move on, but he was just recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder and I'm afraid of the consequences (for him) if i end the relationship now. He is also alone in the world, having lost his mom & dad at a young age. I need some advice please. I do not want to go to friends and family any longer with this for they are frustrated. I believe I have lost some friends over this as well, due to the couple times we have had gatherings and he has had severe mood swings around them too.
2006-11-20 03:20:12 · 22 answers · asked by jamiee s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I married a guy like that years ago (now divorced) Did not last long. Very controlling, Sleeps a-lot heavy mood swings
They drag you into all that stuff - I know. I shake thinking back.
MOVE ON! and DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!
Stop worring about him and worry about YOU!
I had guns pointed at me
I was beat up.....black & blue
It only gets worse
Since he was diagnosed, he is being treated right?
So he is getting help. Leave now while the chances are good
My x was treated but still managed to make my life HELL
Listen to your friends and family dear. There are way too many fish in the sea for you to live like that
Get OUT NOW!!!!! Don't walk ---RUN!!!
2006-11-20 03:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Big V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you break up, have a Friend waiting in the wings if you do it in person. I would do it over the phone. I would keep it simple and to the point, be honest and thoughtful as well. You may feel like you left him when he needed you most, but don't feel that way. He has problems beyond your control. Why should everyone suffer because of 1 persons Illness. Think about your freedom and future opportunities, Is this the kind of person you want around. I hope you come out of this OK. Be strong and honest with yourself.
2006-11-20 03:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by X_YELLOWJACKET_X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar 2 is difficult, but not impossible. If he has been diagnosed, then I assume he is in therapy, and started medication.
There really isn't a reason to stay unless deep down you do love him. Then you should stay, participate in the therapy (it will help you with him, and your own emotions).
You can't be the knight in shining armor unless you love him, then there is no guarantee he will feel the same when things start to level out for him.
He will hurt if you leave, and maybe even crash! It's not going to help him if you stay though feeling the way you do. You are leading him into believing a lie, which will hurt worse, and do more damage later.
2006-11-20 03:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by LucyLinnae M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not in love with him .. he's possesive and controlling (my husband does not even check my phone log and e-mails!!). It sounds like he's got too many issues. It also sounds like you already know what you have to do. You said that you're a woman of strong virtue, now you have to be strong in every way and get rid of this guy. No relationship should be this overwhelming .. especially in only 9 months!
2006-11-20 03:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say, it'll be harder to leave the relationship the longer it goes on... but on the brighter side, if he's been diagnosed, he's getting treatment... if he takes his meds and follows the doctors directions all the time, i'm sure he'll be getting much better soon... that should help mellow out his mood swings... I dono about him being suspicous at all, but it might...
it's really up to you, but if he stays that suspicous, i'd leave...
2006-11-20 03:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should end the relationship. This man is not your responsibility. You tell him to get counseling, leave him a card for a mental health support line and run the other direction as fast as possible. Do not give up your life and happiness to make sure this man can find his- you said you aren't in love with him, you feel empty. Don't use him to blow up your self-importance, he will make it through without you. Alot of people who are depressive use threats of suicide to get attention, its a cry for help, usually they would never try suicide and most the time fail anyway, as crude as that sounds. Yes it is time to end this facade of a relatinoship. He can't love you until he loves himself. And you already said you don't love him.
2006-11-20 03:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to be strong and break it off with him regardless of the consequences. You should not have to give up your life and health for him. You can't help it that he has bi-polar and that is unfortunately something he will have to deal with. If you are not happy within this relationship then you should let go. Please don't give up your happiness for somebody that obviously does not trust you and will never treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated. It will be tough but in the long run it will be the best thing to do for yourself.
2006-11-20 03:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nine months of your life does not a life long committment make. What about the consequences to you? You are losing important people in your life, people that you LOVE........all for someone you don't love? Get yourself straight. Let him take care of himself. Distance yourself from this situation quickly. Being bipolar is not a death sentence. There is plenty of help available to him that does not include you. Good luck.
2006-11-20 03:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out and find someone who will treat you with the respect you need. Sometimes, it's hard to give up on a person that has a disease but you have to think about you and only you will know when the right time to leave is.
2006-11-20 03:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have thinking about this for a while now and it's time to stop thinking about it and do something about it. You are a kind hearted person and are afraid of hurting anyone but you have to start putting yourself first. Make yourself happy and get out of this relationship, you deserve much better.
2006-11-20 03:24:08 · answer #10 · answered by Mustang Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋