help and she is shooting up cocaine. She is 24, I have a 15 year old and a 5 year old that I don't feel right about letting my niece and her husband around. I love her with all my heart, but she won't get help. She gave her 2 kids to her mom 5 months ago. Since she won't get help, and has admitted to continue using, I won't let her over here. My sister (her mom) continues to try and help her and she can't see that all is happening is she is getting used for money and rides etc. My nephew (her brother) called today for the first time in months. I told him what happend and his response was "If she doesn't use around your kids, or in your home I don't see what the problem is." Has my family gone crazy? Is it okay to let someone with a $1200.00 a month drug habit in your home if they aren't high at that minute? I feel like I don't know these people anymore.
2006-11-20 03:10:42 · 11 answers · asked by Corona 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all you have every right to say that she is not allowed in your home. Especially since you have a 15 year old. That is the prime age for someone like your niece to be able to influence her. Secondly, just because she isn't high at the moment you still shouldn't let her in your home. She may not act high but could be and you would never know. Stick to your guns on this one and don't let her in your home. I know what's its like to be around someone like that and its not fun. They don't want to get help but expect everyone to be at their beck and call and when they aren't they go crazy. She will eventually realize on her own that she is losing her family. Hopefully, its not too late by then. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I hope I have helped at least a little!
2006-11-20 03:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by Lori J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is an addict, she is high almost every minute.
You have done the best possible thing you could for your niece. Enabling is a horrible thing and it seems that you are not doing it. The best way to help and addict is not to help them and give them consequences to their actions. I know you love her, and you are showing it! Tough love is the best thing you could do.
What needs to happen is that your entire family needs to stop enabling her. Stop giving her money. Stop giving her a place to stay. Stop letting her see her kids. These are all consequences to her actions. On top of it, get the entire family together and have an intervention. If they love her as much as you do, it is the only option. If she doesn't comply, take it all. I gaurantee she will either hit rock bottom or come close to it. Regardless, you will set an example for your children and her children...if you do drugs, you lose it all.
Addiction is an evil disease. It destroys families. I wish you the best of luck. You seem to be heading in the right direction. Hopefully your family member will begin to hit the right path. Oh, there are licensed intervention people that can help. I don't know where to find them, but I am sure a google search will definatly help you find one.
2006-11-20 03:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be the only responsible person in this family right now. What you are saying is that you don't condone the drug use and you refuse to be codependant. The main part of addiction is the severe denial that all who are touched by this go through. It sounds like your sister is part of this. Call your local mental health association and ask them who you can contact with advice on how to deal with a substance abuse problem. If you nonjudgementally approach your sister with this information maybe you can be of some assistance but dont count on it as there is a lot of guilt and shame around this. Keep her away from you children they should not be exposed to this lifestyle and children can be very impressionable. Good luck with being responsible I know it can be downright difficult. God bless.
2006-11-20 03:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your selection and desirable to not enable your niece who's on drugs be around your toddlers. you ought to look out on your loved ones. And if it skill conserving her faraway from them-so be it. do not enable your sister make you experience in charge. do exactly not talk to her. Say what you may desire to and bypass away it at that. She's an enabler. She's making excuses for her daughter. faster or later, your niece is going to hit all-time low. it relatively is unlucky which you sister would not be attentive to adequate to place her in rehab. i assume some people ought to lose each thing earlier they get greater valuable. enable her take care of her daughter and you deal which includes your loved ones. do not enable your self get under pressure approximately what they're doing. It only isn't properly worth it. you at the instant are not getting something out of this! and that i owe you a extensive apology from earlier as quickly as I replied your question. I suggested something approximately you not having any childrens and that i had no concept. i'm sorry. given which you do have 2 of your individual, you have to be attentive to what it relatively is elect to attempt to maintain your toddlers faraway from others who are not doing properly. you do not elect them around your niece shooting coke or something. stable success with this.
2016-10-22 10:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever seen the show "Intervention"....I believe it's no Sunday evening....from all I've watched...your absolutely doing the right thing....you have children to protect..first and foremost. What your niece REALLY needs if for everybody in the family to do exactly what you've done..cut her off...completely...no money..no rides...no place to stay....and stay tough...until she admits she has a problem and is willing to get help for it...I don't think you have any choice but to stand your ground! As hard as it is.....Good Job!
2006-11-20 03:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's only you're decision. If you don't feel comfortable with her being with your kids, then what you did was right.
But instead of you, I think I would let her be around my kids, when she's not high, and at the same time - I'd try to help her as much as I can.
2006-11-20 03:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by Alice_d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that it's time to move. They won't listen and you don't want your kids around that stuff, do you? Time to move on. Maybe the threat of moving far away with open their eyes. Good luck.
2006-11-20 03:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by dancing_with_patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i don't think it is right to let her in there if she does that stuff, b/c she is more than likly addicted and that is a very bad example for your kids you are doing the right thing.
2006-11-20 03:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by chris'sbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no kept them out of your house untill they get help you only need to worry about your kids
2006-11-20 04:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by sandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm.. Yah bring her to a rehab center! I wouldnt let her in my household for ANYTHING!
2006-11-20 03:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋