Hello I'm going out with a turkish man that I met on holiday, he seems pretty genuine about me and we are both working really hard at keeping the relationship going. The only problem I have in my mind is that he is just doing it in the hope that he could possible get married to me and have a better life here in the UK. ok so its a big doubt in my mind as you read so many stories on stupid English women that have duped, I'm not naive, I just need some direction from anyone who has been in the same situation as me.
Love always sian.xx
2006-11-20 02:56:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hiya some more info on the turkish bf subject...
He isn't rich, lives on about £250 a month in Turkey, this is a pittance to use but its a lot in Turkish Lira.
I am not well off, I'm a 3rd year university student and living off money from my loan and a part time theatre job.
He hasn't ever been to the UK but the times that I have been out to Turkey when we see each other we always split the bill and share everything 50/50 which is the way I think it should be.
Hope this helps in giving me a better answer...thanx to the people who have posted so quickly.
sian.xxxx
2006-11-20 03:15:22 · update #1
I think you would have a better life out there to be honest,looking at the state of the UK at the mo.I'm emigrating try it.
2006-11-20 03:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't tell, how can we?
You just have to look at the relationship. How does he treat you? Do you guys connect? Does it FEEL real? Does it FEEL right? Does he make you happy?
If the answers were "Good" "Yes" "Yes" "Yes" and "Yes" than stop letting the social stigmas about where he's from and other people's stories get to you. True love is hard to find and you should cherish it.
You didn't mention how long you guys have been together, but if its just starting out, just enjoy his company, if you don't feel he ACTS in a genuine manner, than leave him. But until his actions show he's not genuine, don't let your mind push him away for fear of his supposed intentions. If you guys have been together a while, than you should know and feel his love... if thats whats there...
Only you will know if its true and only he will know his intentions.
I started dating my current partner, to be brutully honest, only for the fun of having a guy take me out on a date to a nice resturant... when I first met him, he was no different than any of the guys that find me attractive... but than I got to know him and fell completely head over heels in love.
So... even if he started that way... he might have changed his mind after getting to know you...
Theres alot of factors.. only you will know.
2006-11-20 03:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you fear it then you should by all means follow up on those feelings.If you can check out his background then do it don't feel embarrassed by it, and ask questions of him and see if he's uncomfortable with that.Truly a person with nothing to hide will not make you feel intrusive by answering your questions,I'm sure you'd have no problems answering his, so don't go for the line, some people are more private,that's a cover for they don't want to answer. Remember, this is your life that's on the line and in these times that's literal. Good Luck.
2006-11-20 03:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think this is a good idea, i have read so many storys of this situation happening and 99.9% of the time it ends in tears.
even if u havent got alot of money, once he gets a visa to live over here he is laughing as it is just such a whole better life over here then turkey. turkey is a very poor country.
he will be able to get a better well paid job over here, then he will not need you anymore. they say you cant choose who u fall in love with but i would get out now before its too late hunni
2006-11-20 03:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation twice (and married both). One was genuine, one wasn't. The fake one I met not on holiday but while working abroad. Mistake. The real one I knew for years and years.
2006-11-20 03:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by IAN B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
need more info.
such as are you well off?
is he poor?
is he skilled in the work department etc etc.
can he pay his way if he came over on a permanent basis?
does he visit you now? does he pay for stuff when he is here or are you the one forking out all the time.
how long have you known him etc etc
too little info to give a proper answer.
2006-11-20 03:06:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my lady is in romania and wants a better life --- if she is using me (and i know she is not) then so be it --- im going in with my eyes open and only want her happiness
the only way to know for sure is to keep the relationship going -- im sure if he is doing it only to get residency in the UK he will give signs --- it would be difficult to maintain a loving facade for long periods
2006-11-20 03:01:57 · answer #7 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dad above me makes a good point.
I think your suspicions are correct though.He is after a British passport methinks.
2006-11-20 03:01:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you want to move to his country because of him, if he hesitates, he definitely wants to move to your country for a better life. if he says sure you've got a keeper cos most guys would'nt even bother trying to keep the relationship going.
2006-11-20 03:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by DaWoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start hinting that you may like to move to his country and see what his reaction is.
Worth a try.
2006-11-20 02:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by dadn33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋