please this is a very serious issue, my father was sentenced today for 15years in prison for the murder of my mother, but i dont think he done it (loads of reasons) but my mothers family believe the police even though i have proved they have lied (a lot), anyway point being they turned up to court today but none of them phoned me or anything to see if i was going or that i was ok, but when i turn up alone they all start acting like they care...this has gone on for years and i have always put up with it for they are my family. i need to know if it is time to call it a day, for how much more hurt do i stand for in the name of family.
2006-11-20 02:54:23 · 16 answers · asked by thenickistar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this has gone on for many years and has been in papers etc, and i have delt with many issues that this situation may bring, i just dont know if i am being a selfish cow in thinking they (my family) should at least consider me... they all support each other and i am left out!!! oh boy i sound so hard done by!!!
2006-11-20 03:25:57 · update #1
well, for one, i am VERY sorry for the loss of your mom. I think you need a break from your family, before things get worse and time to heal your wounds. Try and prove to the police that your father is innocent, i am truely sorry this happened to your mother.
get well.
2006-11-20 02:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen it takes alot of years to built a bond , but it takes only one very second to destroy it. Dear, there r many reasons behind it. I now this is a serious issue . First just try to understand whether ur family cares for u or not. If u see they do , than try to keep the bond ahead . But if not no problem in breaking it up. Because a bond that hurts u, why should u keep that alive. And remember ur mother family is not ur family . Because ur fathers family is ur family . But he matter is that u share a bond with them. pls don't hurt urselves. Always remember in life if ur father is true, than keeping any bond with them will be hurting ur father. Now everything is in ur hand whatever u want to do. But keep all this things in ur mind. May be then u will be able to take a right decision. Thanks for sharing ur problem with all of us. Take care.
2006-11-20 03:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by Fariha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly id like to say how much I feel for you, having been through something terrible also. and what most people think unforgivable your family will always be your family no matter what they do and if you find you are able to forgive then that's enough about the issue of whether he is guilty or not only you can decide what to believe, as the same goes for the rest of your family. as for the hurt you will need the help of counselling talking to others that have been there will help.
2006-11-20 03:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by karel h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a serious issue
but I always say put yourself in their shoes, it is unfortunate that your father had to go to Jail and if truly he is innocent it is only time that Will heal his suffering, believe you me the truth Will surely come out.
but because of the love they have for you and your mum they cannot help but support the police
my candid advice is that ,they should know that you have two case scenarios to contend with
your mums death
and your fathers incarceration
do not call it a day with your family,just be accommodating and loving, at the same time tell them how you feel, but when you need that time to yourself do not hesitate to say
believe you me when the truth starts hitting you will be the star
2006-11-20 03:06:12 · answer #4 · answered by john n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these people have lied to you before they will do it again. You need to get away from them because you can't depend on them and you can't trust them. However, don't just cut all ties immediately. First you need to look around an assess who is in your life that you can turn to even occasionally for support. Start building a life for yourself one block at a time, one new activity at a time, one new person at a time. Gradually make your new "family" bigger and your old "family" a smaller part of your life. Reduce contact with the old crowd gradually and stop letting them in on your business - even if they appear interested. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 18:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Frankie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no idea how much I understand this situation, I've been in a very, very similar place.
Our family (my sisters and me) just imploded, we tried to be there for each other but just ended up hurting each other more.
I don't have an answer for you I'm afraid, just my understanding and best wishes. Take care, ok?
x
2006-11-21 01:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by nev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a real human tragedy.i am sorry for you.you should come out of it stronger.time is a great heal,the best medicine.love and ties are reciprocal.if a relationship is painful,then it is best to put an end to it in a beautiful way.never let unhealthy relationship to grow,as you woud never allow an abcess to hurt you for long. time will help you out.it is time to call it a day.family bond is no bond if it is only oneway,as a bond is based on trust,love,& care for each other.god is great.so trust HIM to come out of it.
2006-11-20 03:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by modol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all may i sugest councelling,
but now is the time when you need family and friends, they too are hurting, have you ever tried talking to them, explaining how you feel, you might be surprised as to how they feel.
is this the only family you have left at the moment?
i dont know if there is any words of comfort but be strong.
2006-11-20 05:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by purple diamond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel.My so called family are exactly the same.I now have nothing to do with them.Will your dad be appealing against his sentence ,if he his innocent my heart goes out to him & you at least you are standing by him.Good Luck In The Future
2006-11-20 03:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you,how old are you? You have been through a lot lately and you will have to get your head round things,give yourself some space for a while before you make any big decisions.Email me if yu want to talk
2006-11-20 02:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋