How do I help my boyfriend see that he misses me to try to get him back? Any insight at all is so appreciated!

Question

My boyfriend and I of two years just broke up. He broke up with me. We had a very mature relationship and he decided that he needs some time to himself (not to be with other girls, he's not like that, REALLY time for himself) to really discover who he is as an adult (he's 23 and has been with me 2 years and another girl before for 4.5 without much time in between). We lived together for most of the relationship and have been apart for a month, though we just broke up recently. I love him completely and don't want to get over him. We are seeing each other for the first time in three weeks this weekend. I don't want to get back with him right away because I do feel like we both need this time.

So the question is this then: How do I make him want me back, not right this second, but when he's ready. He said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone at all. But how do I make him miss how good a relationship can be so he'll think of me in the future when he's ready? Thanks!

Let me just clarify one thing: I do not want to MAKE him do anything because I don't want to be in a relationship with him simply because I tricked or manipulated the situation. I just want to enable him to see how great we were and how awesome relationships can be and let him make whatever decision he wants.

Answer 1

im so tired of boys!!! hah give him his time and space. im going thru the same kinda thing and its hard but if he comes back around, then good..thats what u want, and if he doesnt, then thats how it was supposed to be. dont wast this time away from him worrying about it (harder than hell, i know)..take the time to better yourself. from personal experience, be careful seeing him after a long time....what i mean is, dont let it upset you if u dont see him for a few days again after this time.

Answer 2

I completely understand where you're coming from top to bottom because sometimes I have the same exact problem. I know that I mess up a lot and my boyfriend always find it in his heart to forgive me even when i think it just over. He might just need a little time to himself if he really loves you he wont forget about you if he really want you he'll come back. Just call him and tell him how you really feel about the situation and just reach deep down in your heart, find deep meaningful word to express your feelings. It ok to tell him how you feel and when your talking to him before you tell him how you feel ask him, PLEASE REPECT MY FEELING BECAUSE ITS COMING STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART, you could say something like that. Just remind him of the good times, bring so things you did in the past stuff you did together and had fun. Ask him what was yall most memorable moment or whats his favorite thing to do with you. Bring up some of his favorite things to do like sex if that was his favorite thing to do then bring is up then funniest thing that happen while have sex the wildest, the craziest dont be afraid to try some new things be exotic be romantic. You should treat him for once dont be afriad sometimes you just have to go after the things you want the most or sometimes if youre patient they'll come right back to you. Do something special for him, cater to him rent a hotel room, buy lots candles, buy roses spread rose petals everywhere, run some nice warm bubble bath, put petals in the bath water, buy some special lingerie, buy champagne don't be afriad to spent a little, take off work, tell him to clear his schedule for the day ahead of time you dont want to do all this and he cant even come. You just gotta make his absolutely want you. You have to look you best get your hair did, nail did, toes did, everything did buy a new outfit go pick him up. If he doesn't absolutely love that or adore you he's NUTS just kidding. BUT he should see that you really want him back and you would do whatever it takes. Take it to the limit and then some, you can just do that when you realize you don't want to see other people you want him, I hope my little advice helps you.

Answer 3

To be honest be yourself, don't make it out that you have stoped living since you broke up, keep doing the things you did before and get out and try new things. If he sees you as this confident happy person rather than someone who's brought a lot of self help books, hating men and listening to chaka khan and arethlin franklin, that won't be as atttractive and he won't realise what an amazing thing he has given up. Be yourself, if he still loves that person he'll ask you back out but if not, theres nothing you can do and if you forced it to happy that would cause more pain. Who knows, maybe you were meant to meet someone else and this is the start of that journey, even if it doesn't feel like you want to be travelling down that road. It will all work out in the end :)

Answer 4

Make yourself available to him. Do not date other people right now. You stated you both need some time. I got married very young, didnt know who I was even at that time and ended up divorced. You cannot force him to miss you or your relationship. Respect his decision and give him some space. You both may find that you drift back together. Or perhaps you will develop other interests, meet other people and decide that it is time to go your separate ways. I commend him for making a mature decision about how to handle this. It may save you both a lot of heartache further down the road.

Answer 5

If you're mature, you would realize that hate best things to do is to just let him go.

You JUST broke up--of course you want him back!

Here's the reality--he doesn't want you back. You both broke up for a reason, and nothing in the world is going to fix that.

You love him, but the reason you don't want to give him up is because you are afraid of losing this part of your past. He's been with you two years, and you're afraid that he's the only one out there to love you.

My advice? Get out and forget about him. If you really are mature, you'll move on and stop trying to figure out how to win his heart back. You're going to get yourself in trouble if you keep thinking like this.

You can't make him miss or love anything.

"Let me just clarify one thing: I do not want to MAKE him do anything because I don't want to be in a relationship with him simply because I tricked or manipulated the situation. I just want to enable him to see how great we were and how awesome relationships can be and let him make whatever decision he wants"

Yes, you DO want to make him---look at your question--how do I help my boyfriend see that he misses me to try to get him back?

You're desperate for him to come back and you'll do WHATEVER it takes to get him back. You broke up. That's it. Your relationship was great, but it's OVER now. You have to move on. Lingering on this relationship is only going to hurt you in the long run.

Answer 6

Read your question please "how do I make him want me back... how do I make him miss how good a relatinoship can be..."?????
You can't MAKE anyone do anything! He will feel it if thats the truth... if your relationship was good and if he wants you back he'll feel it. You can't make him feel that! All you can do is oblige his wishes for space. And when he's ready and IF he wants to he'll let you know.
You might have thought it was good, he might not see it the same. He is telling you he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone... probably a kinder way of saying "I don't want to be in a relatinoship with you" Try reading "He's just not into you" and "Its called a breakup because its broken" for some good insight into the male mind.

Answer 7

You can't make him want anything.... you can only accept what is happening. You can tell him how you feel directly, but again he is going to feel how he feels and you would have to accept it and move on. What is your motivation for wanting him back? Is that you hurt too much? Trying to force something will just make it worse. You feel bad now because that is how it feels when this happens so just feel bad for a while and it will pass. You will be just fine -- and even more good news -- this will happen again at some point too... and it will feel just as bad. I'm not trying to bring you down.. just trying to say that feeling like crap is temporary... so is feeling great.

Answer 8

Just be yourself. If you try to be anything but yourself he will see right through it. Dont chase him. Just go out and have lots of fun. Make sure you look good so he knows what he is missing. If he wants a replationship he will come back to you and if he doesnt then you were not meant to be with him.

Good luck, have a good time

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry about making him want you back now especially since you both need the time apart
If you're meant to be together it will all work out
for now you should just be friends without the physical stuff
You may realize that you are better off as friends
If you are important enough to him he won't forget about you actually he won't forget anyway-you can't forget two years

Answer 10

theres nothing you can or should do, just see him, and be happy to see him.. love isn't selfish, and trying to make him miss you and want you back is selfish... let God take care of it my dear, he knows whats best... its not easy, trust me I've been there! the thing is you don't want him to want to you back because of what you told him to do... that will die eventually... you want him to want you and mis you, because his heart is telling him that... if you need time apart, then thats all you can ask for.. you can't ask each other to wait for the other person, ways of the heart connot be told what to do, they can only be allowed to flow in freedom... :) it hurts, and it might hurt for a time, but thats how it has to be... if its true love, you'll be brought back together.. but it can't be forced... forcing love makes love nonexistant... that just makes a relationship become possessive... let God and love work together to form your futures, whether they are meant to be united futures, or seperate paths, you'll both be happy one day... and to see a smile on his face with someone else will make you happier than a frown on his face while he is with you... im not saying I want this to go bad for you... and im not saying that you can't want him, thats ok... but im also saying you can't force your heart or his....

love is beautiful and give much happiness, but that happiness cannot come without hardship... i wish you all happiness...and I wish you all the strength to get through the hardship and find the happiness and have the beauty of true love...